Over the years, He's wasted me down but says its all me. I figured he is probably right, that it's a guy thing...that alot of guys might do it. Here's an example:one night I stayed home with my infant son, he told me he was going to drop someone off at their house, never came back. Never answered the phone. 3:30 a.m. I get a txt message telling me to drive to a bar in our town to pick him up. I got the baby ready, went to the bar, he wasn't there. So I txtd him. He said he is actually in a hotel room 5 towns away and that he missed me and that he promises to never do it again, it was a mistake, but he couldnt take being bored at home. I get there, and his friend is there"thanks for the ride back because those two bitches left us in the room." I said "what girls" He tells me a 19 yr old. and a 21 yr old and that he didnt feel right being there w/o me. Actually, they left him. When I confront him, he denies lies, where he's been, ect.He is 41 yrs. old, addicted to ALL drugs and alcohol
2007-02-03 16:35:39 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to explore why you are with a man who does drugs and alcohol. You also need to figure out why you would have children with this man.
2007-02-03 16:39:48 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, why are you still with this man if he is treating you this way? You have every right to be upset with him, but he doesn't have a right to leave you at home with his son while he is 'banging' some other woman. Shouldn't this tell you something, that he is addicted to drugs and alcohol by his actions?
You don't deserve this. You may want to talk to him and tell him to either get help with his addiction or leave. This habit is taking control of his life already. I don't see this as abuse to you, but he is abusing himself....he is also not being honest with you. So what more do you need to see if you saw this behavior?
I don't see how women like you would stay with a man who is a liar, dishonest, drug and alcohol addict, just don't understand it.
2007-02-03 16:48:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is all wrong, it is disrespectful to be treated like this, used and hurt. no ,guys don't do this, only the ones that are not worth having. your hubby is immature, and has no respect for the marriage. the longer u stay in a relationship like this the more normal it will become to u, he denies it, so he will not have to be confronted by u, it is a waste of your time and energy to be with a man like this, he is a cheater, a user, and thinks u are a fool. also in addition to the disrespect, he is an addict and that makes for a very poor marriage and life.get out now, as the longer u stay the more normal it will become to u. why not get yourself a real man, as u really can't do much with this one.
2007-02-03 16:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you're here asking is a sign you should look at yourself! If you put up with an addicts intollerable behavior you only have YOU to blame. YOU CHOOSE YOUR ACTIONS AND YOU HAVE CHOICES!!! I know you're probably very scared (and I don't blame you) for the mere thought of walking away, but trust me, it'll be the BEST thing you do for your infant child. This behavior isn't just detremetal to you. Children are like sponges, they take it all in. However, infants can't talk like we can, but they do feel the tention and that will affect behavior patterns later in life. Get your strength, lean on your family and friends (you'll need them now for your own sanity), and WALK AWAY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!
2007-02-03 16:43:45 · answer #4 · answered by confused123 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, when a person addicted to drugs + the alcohol things it is obviously not a good person to some one else. Because when this person is under the control of drugs and alcohol, they can do anything without even think any result of it. I suggest you to leave him, you got a baby... Even maybe not now... there's no guarantee that one day he's not do anything to beat you and your baby... I'm not trying to scared you but, the things here isn't a good relationship... You deserve to find a better man to live with you... don't be afraid to lose some bad thing behind. You surely will find a good person to live together with. Please take a good and fair decision for you N your baby....
2007-02-03 16:55:59 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's easy to answer this. You have a baby with a 41 year old adolescent who is addicted to all drugs and alcohol. You have to go out in the middle of the night with your baby and pick up his immature addicted butt in a hotel. He has gone to the hotel with his "friend" and "two girls".
You are allowing yourself to be abused, you have chosen to live this way. Why would you want to have a baby with an addict? If you want to have a good life for yourself and your baby, drop this loser like a hot potato. Best of luck to you and your child.
2007-02-03 16:48:49 · answer #6 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's disrespectful at the very least the first time he did it.
However, if you do nothing about it, such as changing the locks, setting up boundaries such as he cannot come home until he is clean, sober and faithful for X period of time, then you are simply enabling him and telling him to keep acting this way.
It's like you are giving him permission to treat you this way.
You may not think this way, but putting up with it sends the message that he does have permission, or that there are no consequences to his behavior.
The most loving thing you can often do is bring the consequences to bear upon him.
2007-02-03 16:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pack up and leave now. Dont waste any time. Empty the bank account and call a lawyer tomorrow. Take his visa card to pay for the hotel room until he moves out. Waiting or going back is the only thing you can do wrong...think about the baby.
2007-02-03 16:42:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a 18 yr. marriage from He--. Mental, physical and verbal abuse. After awhile I knew because he kept telling me the life I was living is what I deserved. Finally, not sure why I left and I have been married for almost 2 yrs. and its hard but so much better. GET OUT ANY WAY YOU CAN
2007-02-03 17:14:05 · answer #9 · answered by kmshannon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes your being abused. take your child and run. go far away and leave a alcoholics anomynous card on the table. no child or women needs to be in the house with an alcoholic, espesialy if they r manipulitive and abusive, u might not thik your manipulated but you r so run run like the wind
2007-02-03 16:43:04 · answer #10 · answered by frank 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What the ****!? What are you THINKING? ok. listen. He is NOT the kind of guy you want to be with. He is extrememely unstable, un-intelligent, and selfish. If he were a responsible adult he would take responsibility for his actions and make an attempt to turn his life around. You should not have to deal with someone like that. Do you really love him? Would you do anything for him? Is he really who you want to spend your life with? Think about that. You have an infant son. Do you want your son brought up in a childhood with this guy? You have to think about what's best for you and your son. Find a good guy that will love you and your son and will express it.
2007-02-03 16:42:25 · answer #11 · answered by Mitch 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋