My husband never has any extra time to spend with me. However he enjoys spending time with our kids, but is seems like he spends more time with our 15yr old daughter and her friends doing things like going to the movies, shopping, going for ice cream, concerts ect. We also have younger boys and he don't spend more time with them or their friends. He says he spend more time with her because she is older than the boys and when they are older he will do the same. If I ask him to go out for dinner, he comes up with excuses, he might say "we have food at home" or "its too expensive"...ect. If I invite him to a movie I'll just end up going alone because its a "chick flick" and he'll say " I have tons of DVDs we can watch at home." If we attend a function together he always wants to leave early, if he even goes at all. Bottom line he wont do anything that includeds me. On day he took the kids to "chuck E cheese" and said if I (me) go he won't go so I stayed home. What would you do?
2007-02-03 16:26:18 · 22 answers · asked by starr5 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow that is a hard one.
I probably would talk to him more and try to explore what exactly is going on with him.
It sounds pretty weird
and extremely unfair to your younger boys.
Funny thing is that your daughter probably DOESN't want him around....
I dont know what to say to you.
I do hope he comes around and until he does, you might have to do more to compensate for your little boys so that they dont feel unloved...etc.
Hang in there
you are in my prayers
2007-02-03 16:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by kissmymiddlefinger 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a little too active with the girls...You need to keep an eye on him and your Daughter's friends... sorry, but true. He does not enjoy spending time with the 'kids' , it sounds like he likes spending time with 15 year old girls, which could turn ugly!! 15 year old girls are impressionable! He should be spending time with his BOYS while you hang with the girls. His boys need a father and sports and a positive male role model NOW not when they are older. His behavior now reflects how his sons will turn out! Come on, take a good look at his behavior and call Dr. Laura right away!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dr. Laura.com)
2007-02-04 00:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by LJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, I dont think he is just being an active father..... And why say if you were going to chuck E cheese he wont go, NO this is bull sh*t hey. I had similar problem with my (soon to be ex) husband with my eldest daughter. It almost drove me insane! Put your foot down now!!! Tell him if he doesnt want to spend time with you then get the F out!!! And lay down the law with him lady, he is getting off on hanging out with underage chicks - and it will end in disaster one way or the other. Best of luck
2007-02-04 00:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by Eve M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this sounds familiar.. My mom had the same problem with mt step dad, he always paid attention to me and my lil sis *my lil sis is his real daughter* he would spoil us`like crazy and he could always make me laugh and he was great with my lil sis but he didn't pay much mind to my mom and that got to her after a while and they split up. My advice is try to really talk to him and see if he at least tries to change and if he doesn't then talk to your kids about how they would feel if u and ur husband got split up if there ok with it then go for it but still let them see there dad on the regular and if there not then try to work something out like if ur still gonna get a divorce make sure u don't move to far away so that ur kids won't feel like they no longer have a father. As a kid who has gone through my mom and step dad splitting up I told my mom it wasn't a big deal with me but truth is it does bother me because I've been around him for 5 years and that's a big change so pay attention and see if your kids are really ok with everything
2007-02-04 01:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by partyprincess1994 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but this seems really odd to me that he wants to hang out with teenage girls. Hopefully he doesn't have his eye on one. He should probably be spending less time with her and more time with the boys as far as children. Do you think he no longer loves you? It sounds like it to me, I am sorry to say.You need to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him and tell him that you need to have some love and affection from him or it is over. you can also suggest therapy to get to the bottom of the problem. I sure hope that it doesn't have something to do with those young girls.
2007-02-04 00:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find time to talk with him privately.
In this timeframe, I would ask him if his feelings for our relationship have changed for his attitude and lack of concern about spending any amount of time with you included in any activity or alone has led me to believe that there is no desire to be involved as a couple.
If states this is indeed his feelings - offer to work on the relationship or cut your losses and learn from the experience.
But it concerns me that he is interested in paling around with your TEENAGE daughter and her friends(as young girls go, cannot imagine that other than the cashflow what enjoyment they would get from this behavior).
Yet he has no time for your boys.
Seems strange to me.
Wish you all the best!
2007-02-04 00:33:50 · answer #6 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think your husband doesn't love you anymore, you should divorce him because he doesn't like spending time with you (very important to a relationship), rather spend time with his daughters friends then with you, makes up excuses to reject you and is a cheapskate... if i were you i would be concerned that he is spending so much time with your daughters friends there's something weird going on there I'm telling you that isn't normal look into it...You can get much better then this guy I'm serious leave him and take your kids and start a new life you deserve someone who loves you and takes care of you...
2007-02-04 00:32:22 · answer #7 · answered by sadgreeneyes3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes he seems like he loves his kids but he also has to love and spend time with you as well or something is wrong and missing in your marriage... Seek counseling and help and talk to your husband about what you are feeling and ask him why he spends time with the kids and not with you. See if he is open to going to marriage counseling with you.
2007-02-04 00:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he may have something going on with one of your daughter's friends. I know that sounds sick and twisted, but the story you have told just doesn't add up. Lame excuses and doing everything with his daughter, not you, and her friends. Hmmmm...Something isn't right. Maybe you should do more with your daughter and leave him at home for a while. See if something like that works and check the reaction from dear old dad.
2007-02-04 00:33:30 · answer #9 · answered by poemonkey1980 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Girls at 15 and with friends don't like their dad around at all unless he is just the chauver.
Maybe the others are right. But seems that you are gulty of nothing. But maybe you have issues he can't deal with you
2007-02-04 00:49:52 · answer #10 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋