We just had our 5th wedding anniversary (my husband knew it was coming), but he didn't even acknowledge it... no "happy anniversary", no kiss, no card, nothing! He says he only wants to celebrate the "important ones" like our 25th, 50th, etc. How do I get him to understand that each year is special, and his attitude hurts my feelings & makes me question his love for me? (it's been getting progressively worse each year)
2007-02-03 16:25:34 · 6 answers · asked by Danielle S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok,
Why are you trying to control him.
Yep, that's what you are doing. You are saying your view is superior to his and he should do things your way.
Let's put the shoe on the other foot. What if he were trying to prevent you from celebrating anything but the big ones?
You would not like that one bit, I suspect.
So he probably feels that way about you wanting to change how he feels.
You and he don't need to be in lockstep agreement about this.
Let him be him and not be so excited about these "lesser" anniveraries. Likewise, be as excited as you want to be.
It's not his attitude that is causing you to question your love, it's your inability to accept that he is an individual with different views.
If you keep thinking that he should think and act like you (as you demonstrate here) it will be YOU who ends up destroying the marriage, because you will resent that he doesn't do things your way.
Stop trying to change him and get about the business of loving him. I supect if you consistently love him in the way he likes the most, he will be far more receptive (but maybe never as much as you desire) to doing some things your way.
This is not a he's wrong you are right or vice-versa. It's a we each have differing views on something where there is no right or wrong answer.
So accept him for who he is, and continue to be who you are. You will be far better off, than if you try to change him with all of this, "get my husband to ..." nonsense.
2007-02-03 16:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by camys_daddy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Anniversaries are extremely important to celebrate, after all it is the date you both gave yourselves to each other. You are so right to want to make him see how important it is. When he wants to make love, tell him You only want to make love at christmas and on Your anniveraries, because it is so important to You. See if his attitude changes. Bet he remembers next time>>>>>>
2007-02-04 01:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our anniversary is so close to our b-days that my hubby thinks he only has to celebrate once (which drives me crazy). But he does at least take me out for it. I don't know how to make your hubby change. Men are very hard to change. Maybe you could just put your foot down and tell him you are going out to celebrate together, and make him go. Was his dad that way too? My hubby's dad never takes his wife out so I contribute my hubby's problem to that. All I can say is don't try hinting because they aren't going to get it.
2007-02-03 16:40:59 · answer #3 · answered by precious1too 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't tell your husband just go to a place then tell him your celebrating then maybe he'll get more romanic on your anniversaries
2007-02-07 14:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him no sex for anniversery week if no appreciation from him. Men understand this easily.
2007-02-04 12:11:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I THNK THT THE BOTH OF U SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT AT LEAST TRY TELLING HIM THT AT LEAST A "happy anniv" WOULD B ENOUGH
2007-02-03 17:34:24 · answer #6 · answered by mg's girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋