why is our law system so messed up when it comes to dads fighting for custody of there kids?

Question

Why does the law hate on us men when it comes to getting custody of our kids

Answer 1

I don't think it's hate, but rather there is no assumption that the man is equal in parenting skills when compared to mom.

If the courts would just start with 50/50 co-parenting unless a parent could demonstrate that their soon-to-be ex is an unfit parent, then that would go a long way.

The way it is now, the presumption is that mom is the superior parent. The guy is "guilty" until proven innocent.

He can be faithful and mom the cheater, and he is still often "to blame" for the break-up of the marriage.

You can get joint custody, but shouldn't have to fight for it if you are a fit parent.

Unfortunately, it was my experience that you have to fight for something like this, and she doesn't in most cases.

Answer 2

The problem with the laws in the US are that they are 5 to 10 years late in dealing with things. 20 years ago, it was mostly men that left their wifes, and they had jobs, the wife didnt or at least had a lesser job. Some states have made some changes, but the didnt grandfather the laws so if your already done, your pretty much stuck like me. I was a stay-at-home dad, my wife kicked me out of the house and moved her b/f in, yet I am treated like I commited a crime, because her and her lawyer said I should make more then I have ever made, and with no money I couldn't fight. A lot of it is has to do with money, and women can get help from at least 10 different groups, and I could only find 1 that helps dads, and it was never open.

Answer 3

Alot of dads do not realize that even tho the relationship did not work out with the mother of your children, your relationship with your children should never stop.

Even tho it may not be in your home where your children live, they still have needs for school, home, food, clothes, dental and medical care, emotional needs, etc ......
too often when the men walk away - it is done totally with no regard for the children.
Many during this time do not concern themselves on any level with their children and their needs - this does not look good when appear in court and have this sad fact revealed.

If you feel you are the better provider, prove your case.

Most times, the moms are the ones who are left to provide even during a marriage much less after divorce......the input from the moms is much greater than from the dad.

Do not believe me - look around you sometimes - in the grocery store, the bank, the drive thrus, at school programs, church, etc .... who do you most see the children with?!

It is not meant to be mean towards the dad but most times he simply is not available on many levels!

Answer 4

Because a picture is painted that most men are unfaithful, make more money, and abusive. And it is on average a more acceptable solution for the woman to continue raising the children than the man as far as the emotional needs of the child is concerned.

Answer 5

You really should manage to foster those youthful ones. contact CPS the position they stay. The courts, as others have pronounced, really favor that the youngsters stay with kinfolk, fairly than being in foster care, so that they should be interested in talking to you about this function. understand that your SIL's youthful ones may be sporting some luggage. you do not stay this way of existence and not in any respect have it influence you. So don't be shy about getting such issues as a social worker to assist them, counsellors, tutors - inspite of they favor. understand that your SIL would get her existence jointly, yet she also gained't. you want to be prepared, in case she does no longer. Addictions... you already know the deal. you'll favor to be constructive that someone is there, supervising any visits she does. The court docket ought to order that, besides - merely supervised visitation. As you suggested, below no situations can she stay with you, via drugs. And even as it is tremendous if she will be round the youngsters as a lot as a threat, in reality, you want to make a judgement about what's acceptable for the youngsters.

Answer 6

Unfortunately- the legal system is "old school" and they still tend to believe children and "better off w/ the mom"/ A friend (the mom is getting divorced) and i told her how she's been behaving as of late- he does deserve the kids. and if i and others knowing her were called as characters wittnesses- we'd tell the judge/child advocate so.

My suggestion- get and keep yourself a log book and write down EVERYTHING. if the mom failed to pick-up/drop off kids, log all inconsistencies such as lies, money issues, stateing kids and she went here/there- and what happened. Also-you have to prove you are the better off with parents- show and maintain stability- make sure there is a child friendly home ready and available. make every attempt to show up for meeting.,school shows. take part in daily lives- if kids mention to you i have a math test friday- call friday night and ask kid how it went so you can say i always call to see how tests/school is. contact the school and make them aware you want to be included in progress reports.issues at school. etc. Make sure you dont over spoil to comsate for the divorce- remain firm in activies and losses there of for mis behavior etc. not is not the time to suck up- it's the time to be strong.

Answer 7

You mean like in this case?
http://www.thestar.com/News/article/176138

It all depends on the state, really. Some states are very father-friendly, whereas others will give custody to the mother 99.9% of the time.

Answer 8

because waaaaay too many fathers are deadbeat, disappearing dads....it could possible be the other way around if guys were the ones grunting a human being out of their bodies..........woman are natural nurturers......

Answer 9

They don't "hate on" all men, just the ones who deserve it.