Why are so many men scared to go out with a woman who has a child?

Question

I mean I wouldnt be scared off if the man was a single father?
Actually I think it would be neat...

Answer 1

im not scared

Answer 2

Probably the same men who were "used" by women before.

Think about it. How many men had a woman cheat on them and then take their kids from them? Or have watched a friend go through that drama?

If we are going to talk stereotypes here, then examine both sides. Men are not the only source of the problem.

Something occurred to me today, and perhaps I'll ask this question.

If so many men are raised by single moms, then why are there so many screwed up men? We keep hearing how bad men are. Yet more and more of them are raised by single moms.

If the negative father influence is gone or reduced, wouldn't the quality of men increase, being raised by the superior parent, the mother?

But that's not the case. If you just read here, there are probably at least twice as many women complaining about men, than the other way around.

Combine that with the fact that more men have been raised by single moms, and you have an interesting question.

Getting back to your question, another possible reason is there are too many single moms who are simply looking for a meal ticket.

Just like not all men are afraid of comittment, not all single moms are looking for such a ticket.

But there are enough of them out there to give this stereotype as much merit as the ones I've seen bandied about here about men, being afraid of committment, afraid to date single moms, etc.

Why be worried about men who are afraid? You can't really do anything about it, and you certainly don't want those men anyway.

Worry about what you can address, such as how can I be the type of woman that will not trigger the "meal ticket" fears in most men you meet.

Answer 3

It depends. Some "men" are just big kids who don't want the competition from another child.

Some men are not afraid. They see a woman who has had a child out of marriage or a divorced woman as being immoral.

Sometimes, men do not want the complication of dealing with the child's father or even worse a jealous ex.

My fear of dating a woman with a child was that the woman had no real interest in me as a companion for her. I was afraid that she may be "daddy shopping." I wanted to date a woman who was interested in me, not my potential as a provider or disciplinarian.

I ultimatley married a woman who had a 2 year old daughter when we met. It worked for us because her ex was nowhere to be found, and because she made efforts to keep her child away from me for the first few months we dated. Don't get me wrong. She wasn't trying to pretend she didn't have a daughter. She was protecting her daughter until she felt I was a safe. I agreed it was fair because from her perspective I could have turned out to be a creep, or from our daughter's perpsective, she may have gotten attached to me and then lost a second dad.

Adding another human being to a relationship always adds to the complexity of that relationship, and many people don't want to deal with those extra pressures.

On the other hand, I found many positive aspects to having a girlfirend who already had a child. To name a few:

1) In case I wanted to have more children, I knew she was fertile.
2) If I didn't want any more kids, her bio clock was no longer ticking like the tell-tale heart.
3) I already knew what she would look like after having a child, so there was no fear of her fear of post mommy massiveness.
4) I never had to worry about her being too clingy as I did my professional studies and work, because she had other things to do besides either be at my house or be on the phone all the time.
5) Dates included things that I had not done in a long time, like going on haunted hayrides, visiting Santa at the mall, sledding, and going to wavepools.

If you were to date a single father, would there not be fear of the mother coming back into the picture? Would there be no fear that he was looking for a free babysitter? Like I said before, it would depend on the man, wouldn't it?

Answer 4

Easy --- this one is a no--brainer. Men regard other men's children as baggage big time... Why would he want to get serious about a lady with a kid, when he could have someone who doesn't have some other man's kid.... You may not mind dating a single dad, because the kid is with mom most of the time.... But think again.... dealing with another woman's child full time, or almost is no cakewalk, and blended families are not really a funTV series... You may think it neat, but few guys do.... they are just wired that way....
Ask any single mom how many dates she gets...... goddamn few, sweetie... sorry

Answer 5

When a man starts dating a woman with a child, he not only has to deal with building a relationship with her, but he also has to worry about building a relationship with her kid. If the relationship does progress to a marriage, then he is IMMEDIATELY slapped with the responsibility of being a father -- no "honeymoon" period, no "just us" time. He immediately has to worry about how to support his family, how to raise a kid, how to be a good example, and -- not only that -- but he has to share his time with his new wife with a kid who is probably confused and emotionally scarred by the whole ordeal.
Face it, a woman with a child (regardless of what her past may have been) has a whole lot more baggage than someone who is not yet a mother.

Answer 6

most men are scared that women want there boyfreinds to take over the responsibility of being dad, Or the girl with the child just wants a man for money, and a place to live.

Answer 7

These are all packaged deals with various emotional baggage and even lots of battle behind the scene on money and custody, A single dad might not have his son with him but a single mom most likely has her children. If I knew ahead of time, I wouldn't either. She might even put me to test if I would be kind to her kids.

Answer 8

Some guys aint ready to take on the responsability of raising another man's child cause they don't wont to be daddy or there scared the kid's dad may cause problems or then agian they just may not wont to get to attached cause if it don't work out between you its gonna be harder on the kids then it would be you.

Answer 9

I really do not know the reason for this... I know that my husband did not mind dating and getting to know me and i was a single mom of 4 kids... he says we are the best thing that ever happened to him... The best men are the ones who love you whether you have kids or not.

Answer 10

the younger the guy the worse it seems to be.... im not so sure why that is. i am 34 and my bf is 20.... i have two boys ages 13 and 7 and my guy is cool with them. its not all men... if the ones you meet ,have a problem then you just are meetting mr wrong! the right one will come allong and it will be worth the wait!

Answer 11

I wouldn't be scared to date woman with a child.I like kids anyway so that would just be more fun as long as the kids weren't spoiled snot nosed bad behaved hellions.