Why is it so hard to find a women who looks good and likes to cook and clean?

Question

What happen to keeping the house clean and a decent meal when us men come home from working two jobs. my lil lady stays at home and spends the money i make, then gets mad when i ask why the house ain't clean.(i clean the house every saterday, and keep it tidy all week) what the hell am i doing wrong?

Answer 1

It's hard to find the ones that cook and clean
Because we're too few and far in between. :)

I'm really sorry it's like that for you - set your foot down and tell her to do her part so that you can do yours. She's not right for spending the hard earned money that you make and not keeping up her end of the deal. I stay at home with my two kids, and bust my butt trying to keep this joint clean. It doesn't always work, but at least my husband sees that I try. TELL her - it's not fair. And don't let any feminists tell you otherwise. That crap gets old too!

Answer 2

There are many women in the world who look good(although that isn't the way to judge anyone), and like to cook for their families, and keep a beautiful home. There is more to this story than you are telling us.

If you clean the house on Saturday, and keep it tidy all week, maybe you are doing something wrong. Possibly you never compliment your wife for anything she does, or never act as if you appreciate anything, and she has given up trying to please you.

Marriage is a partnership, there is no "she spends the money you make," it is the families money. Calling your wife "my Lil lady" is very demeaning, and that is probably the way you treat her most of the time.

Do you have children, they are beyond a full-time job. Why are you working two jobs?

Do you get to spend any time together as a couple? Are you constantly working and she feels lonely and ignored? She probably wants you to come home from work and spend some time talking to her, not complaining and being mad about the house not being up to your standards....

You can hire a maid to clean your house, and a chef to make you dinner; but you should not be emotionally damaging your wife, your partner over housework. If you are making her feel hurt and ignored, she will retreat more and more from you and your relationship.

Answer 3

You're still giving her your paycheck that's what you're doing wrong..If you're working all day the least she could do is straighten up the house and make dinner. BUT if you have small children at home also you should realize it's not as easy as you think taking care of children all day and keeping a clean house. If you want things to work compromise with her and share the house chores! Good luck!

Answer 4

Geez, Frank. Is that the most important thing to you? Hell, when I die, I don't want "She kept a clean house and was a great cook." to be all people remember about me. My house is clean, but taking my kids out to play and spending time with them is more important than mopping the floor. The floor will still be there...some day the kids won't. What else does she do? Do you have kids?

Answer 5

you probably just need to ask her is there something she is unhappy with that is keeping her from doing daily duties as a homemaker.

Also, ask her if there are any complaints that she has about you. (She may feel that you are expecting too much from her)

Try and tell her about the complaints that you have about her housekeeping skills, then, talk to her and see if she can change her habits and try to do a little better with cooking and cleaning......some women may not really know how to cook and clean up on a daily basis.

Answer 6

If you clean weekly and keep it tidy thru the week, then how does the house get dirty? As for the decent meals, perhaps she doesnt know how to cook. Since you didnt mention her appearance, I guess she looks good. Hey, one outta three aint all that bad. :)

Answer 7

Something critical should be balanced with a positive. Although say the positive first. It won't put her immediately on the defensive. Tell her more the things you like that she does. Chances she will have more motivation for the things she does, and to accomplish all she needs to get done, if she knows she won't be criticized. Women get worn down doing the same things day after and getting no pay for it.
I heard this recently...You might figure out much she gets an hour for all she does and it will astonish both of you. Many men feel like they are worth more and relay that to their spouse. Put a price on it. Maybe it will give you more perspective.
I find men don't understand what it really takes to keep a house going. Maybe rollplay and see if you how you would react to what she mundanely does daily.
On some days she may actually have a good reason for not getting things done. Like helping a friend. Many women have a need to help others. I know she is helping around the house, but let her know you appreciate all she does. Once in a while go out of your way to do something that personally helps her. She needs to know you care. Also ask her about her day. She likes to know you are interested in what she does, no matter how boring her day was. Give her something to look forward to like a once-a-week date. Women like a connection with their man.
Women like to know it's important enough to their man to take time and spend time with her. Plan it if you can, so she has something to look forward to. Give her hope that housework isn't all she is going to be doing for the rest of her life...and that's all. Do something fun and creative together. Sounds like you may be in a rut.

Maybe figure out what she is worth by all she does and tell her so. Women like to know they make a difference too.
As for looking good...are you talking about physical looks?
Look at her heart. Is it good or selfish?
I guess what I'm trying to say is make her feel like what she does matters and maybe she will take more pride and do more for you.
Housework is so boring and mundane. Maybe you could both vacuum in the buff. Also being more romantic can turn a woman onto wanting to do more for you. You want to do these chores because loves you, not because she is being criticized to do it.
Just remember she has needs too. Communicate what's bothering you, in a constructive way that won't put her on the defense. You love her and she loves you. Communicate about it in a loving way. Don't talk down to her.
When you communicate, use 'I' statements that won't put her on the defense.
YOu are both on the same sides, not enemies.
Don't get in a rut about forget about the others needs. Both needs are equally important.
A woman is also more to lovingly to do for her man, if what she doesn isnt' taken for granted.
I know that works that way for a man too. But we are talking about her.
Also when you bring things up, don't talk down to her. That puts her on the defense. Many parts of communication are tone of voice, facial expression and body language.
She is a woman and needs to feel like she is a woman, appreciated, loved and not taken for granted.
These are thoughts from my experiences. And I hope they help.
E-mail me if you need to if I didn't make something clear.
I have been married for 22 years. There are always some issues. Pick the important ones and let the rest go. Communication and trust are the 2 most important items in a marriage.
Remember the only way to change someone else, is to change yourself. It really works. The more you want to change someone, the more they don't want to change.
Hope this helps !!! Sorry it's so long, but want to get my full point across.
Hope this helps !

Answer 8

well- it is a bit harder to find domesticated women now days. many of them are out working also. i dont think it is unreasonable for you to expect her to pull her weight. if she does not work outside the home, then the home should be her job. if she doesnt know how to cook, either learn, or go out and buy some take out and have it ready. it all comes down to her not pulling her weight. only you can do something about it.many people only rise to the level that is expected of them. you need a serious heart to heart with her. the free ride needs to be over. best wishes

Answer 9

Maybe you need to talk to her instead of nagging her. I know if my husband say's anything to me about when dinners going to be ready or if he has any clothes clean. I refuse to do anything because he expects it to be done and women are not slave's. Although I do also work a full time job and make just as much money as he does. You need to have respect for her and talk dont nag or get mad at her when she dosent do anything.

Answer 10

More practical if you drop 1 of 3 requirements. That;s what most men end up doing.

I am sure women drop 1 of 3 of other requirements as well, whatever they are.