I do not know what to do, my husband and me fight every weekend when we go out, he gets drunk and I do not. When we come home all we do is loose sleep and fight all night about the same old stuff, mostly his one night stand and then he yells at me calls my folks names, calls me names how can I save my marriage because I do love him and I hope he loves me.
2007-02-03 15:27:31 · 27 answers · asked by may s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you talk to him about getting help for his drinking and he says no, it would be best to leave him. I'm not saying for good if that's not what you want to do, you could just move out and pray that will make him realize he does need help. If that doesn't do it, it might be time to think about moving on.
2007-02-03 15:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you fighting with a drunk person? I do know what it means to fight constantly as I did in my last marriage. I just didn't realize if I had shut my own mouth, the fight would have just been a lunatic ranting to himself. You can't reason with an angry drunk. You are angry too and clearly haven't resolved your 'issues' (like a one night stand). This classifies as a 'toxic' relationship. Unless counselling or massive changes on both sides...you could be in for a rough ride. Why don't you try not going out with him on the weekends? Why are you subjecting yourself to this turmoil? That is a better question. He's being abusive to you and deep down inside, you know this. I would suggest you get some counselling yourself. Even the best psychologist's don't think one has to stay in an abusive or addiction related problem marriage. How much do you love yourself, not him? Hopefully enough to not stay in a turbulent marriage if he is not willing to change and make things better. Above all, trust your intuition. Good luck!
2007-02-03 15:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by kallie m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to "educate" her as if she is a dog!!! first of all, your current situation must me the consequence of something... what has been happening between you two?? haven't you tried to consider that she must be even less satisfied than you are?? you are thinking just about "fingering" and stuff like that when maybe the source of the problem is communication?, empathy? and understanding??? anything else Beyond the mere sexual act? And don't even try to take this situation as an excuse and cheat on your wife now!! That would very selfish and even immature for a man of your age... Try to listen what she has to say and DON'T JUDGE her of having traditional thoughts... im sure there's a lot to save in in your marriage, even more after 22 years!!!!! Good luck and sorry If I spoke strongly but men sometimes are so thoughtless....
2016-03-15 05:25:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, one person cannot "save" a marriage. You can only work on yourself, to try and improve yourself.
Are you fighting because of the drinking? Are you fighting because of the one night stand? Is he an alcoholic, and cannot admit it?
He is not acting as if he loves either himself or you right now. If he is drinking to get drunk and had a one night stand and is calling you and your folks names, this does not sound very loving to me.
You really need to get some counseling, if he will not go; you go for yourself. There is counseling available through Alcoholics Anonymous, and Human Services. Many local churches will also offer family counseling.
You have to realize that someone that has to get drunk every weekend, or every time they go out may be an alcoholic and that is a disease. The person will only be able to control the drinking, if they admit they have a problem. Begging, pleading and fighting will not help.
You have to love yourself first. Please get some help, and best of luck to you and your husband.
2007-02-03 15:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by Sue F 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can both sit down and talk without the fighting,then you might have a chance,but honestly as much as you say you love him - if hes out drinking,getting drunk alot and having one night stands,,then why do you want to bother and try to save it ?
He obviously doesnt care about you or respect you or he wouldnt be doing those things - not to mention that calling you those names is psychological abuse.
If you realy want to give it a shot in the dark,try talking to him - go together to see a counselor - I cant promise you that will be the answer either.
I seriously think you need to move on with your life,and get rid of this looser.Your worth so much more than that.
2007-02-03 15:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by country_girl 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try to get help and counseling for you and your marriage... This is the only way to try to help and save it... If this does not happen your marriage will end up in divorce. Try to get him into AA or something like that and offer to go with him and support him through this. Be there for him.
2007-02-03 15:31:51 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi. 1st. think of what attracts you now 2him. 2) what would you miss w/o his presence? Sometimes the absence of NOT feeling accepted/acknowledged (validated!!) by one we care for Really is the drive to someday get their seal of approval. It hurts not being treated as well as he may treat some stranger he meets on the street. You need counseling or if $$ a problem go to a support group and Vent..plus last thing- You need to step back and see how YOU FEEEL ABOUT YOURSELF..low self esteem and lack of self worth are not reasons to tolerate any abuse. Remember this**You are no worse or lower than any other women on this planet. NO ONE is better than you. We are all in this place together..good luck!
2007-02-03 15:40:32 · answer #7 · answered by L.anne 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you go out every weekend if all you do is fight? And if you are fighting about his one night stand , who is starting the fight? Did you stay with him after finding out that he cheated on you and you are throwing it in his face when he gets drunk? You didn't really give a whole lot of detail so I have to assume. But what I gather is that you two should not be going out drinking. And if you don't forgive him for the one night stand then why are you still there?
2007-02-03 15:34:46 · answer #8 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he is disrespectful of u and your folks, he drinks too much causing the fights, u alone can't save the marriage, he has to participate, if he refuses u don't have a chance. u have two people here, with different lifestyles, one is a drinker one is not, together it just doesn't work. when u confront him about the one night stand instead of showing remorse, he name calls shows no respect, seems as if there are unresolved hurts not yet worked out that are causing this, plus his drinking. but when a person is drinking their true feelings and true self emerges.
2007-02-03 15:38:12 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fighting every weekend is not good....If he really loved you he would not treat you like that...I'm going on 16 yrs marriage with the wife..I don't do that to her...If a person calls someone names that's not love...try to get some counseling if he won't go with you get some for your self...
2007-02-03 15:37:20 · answer #10 · answered by hononegah1988 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋