I am married. And the crush used to be my landlord. By that time i was not married but yet dating. He invited me out a few times and i only accepted one of his invitations. Dinner, drinks, laughs and more laughs.It felt great. I am 32, this guy is 53. Single, rich, handsome, funny.
I got married a year ago and 10 months later my husband and I are not doing well. We are facing a divorce crisis. He is quite aggresive when he gets upset at me (once every two days).We are going to counseling.
In our crisis i ran into my exlandlord again. We had drinks for 8 hours... we didn't stop laughing . Charming, funny, all-ears.
We saw each other again, and again. My lema here is "love me but don't touch me". I feel emotionally unfaithful tough. We have not stop seeing each other and it seems like we are very allike in so many ways.
I just need advice. Please HELP!!!
2007-02-03 14:31:04 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know what to do. Either work on your marriage or end it. THEN start something new after you've had time to heal. Tell your landlord your sitch and just say it wouldn't be fair to anyone to get involved now (it really wouldn't), plus it's wrong. Adulterous relationships or those borne of adultery seem not to survive very well. If he cares about you, he'll respect that and not push at all.
Why is he single at his age? Also look at those reasons. Divorced? Why? Never married? BIG WHY?
2007-02-03 14:44:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you forgetting how in the beginning of any relationship the other person can do no wrong and everything seems so wonderful until he looks at you a certion way or does something you don't like or worse yet your husband finds out.Right now you are on cloud 9 if you were in your right mind you would realize what you are doing is wrong.Remember your husband has a heart and you are about to brake it.This other guy has nothing to lose if the two of you are seen together but you sure do and its called integrally and respect. If you want this man do it right .Separate from your husband and then go out with this man . No hiding or looking around the next Corner even though that's what makes it more exciting.Most affair when the sneaking around stops so does the affair.
2007-02-03 15:35:08 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still married. Don't go down a road that you are going to be sorry you traveled. I know you want someone to tell you that you deserve to be happy and that you should go for it. But that is asking for trouble. the right thing is to end one relationship before you start another. This only feels good because you are hurting someone that you are mad at- your husband. If this were the other way around would you want your husband to work on his relationship with you or go with the other woman.
Think before you leap. There is no going back.
2007-02-03 14:42:01 · answer #3 · answered by leaving.florida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already know the answer. If you are looking for justification here, then you are going to be disappointed. You feel guilty for a reason. You feel you are doing something wrong. Nothing anyone can say here is going to make you feel any better.
Get your divorce, then start seeing him again. Your self respect is not something you want to lose. And once you lose it, it could easily color any chance of a future relationship with the ex-landlord.
Like I said. You already know what the right thing to do is. Now it is just up to you to make the right decisions.
2007-02-03 14:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are married now and you chose to marry your husband for better or worse forsaking ALL others till death do you part... Do you remember those vows? If you and your husband are divorcing then wait until you are completely divorced before pursuing this guy. Why is counseling not working for you and your husband... You also need to be honest with your husband and counselor about your feelings for this other guy. You really should focus on working on your marriage and trying to save it... Do not have any contact with this other guy again!
2007-02-03 14:37:04 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know how you would feel if the situation were reversed but,....i wouldn't be comfortable with my husband out with another woman having drinks, contact or no contact, so regardless of whether you cheated on him or not, it isn't a way to help your marriage,
only you can decide what you REALLY want, if you want to keep your marriage then you have to stop seeing the x-landlord,
if your giving up on your marriage is worth the risk that this new relationship may or may not work out then get a divorce and try to find happiness elsewhere,......good luck
2007-02-03 14:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that ur marriage isnt working out and he is hurting you then you need to leave him. This guy seems great and if hes into you then you know you have somewhere to turn if you decide to leave your husband. But before you make that move you should talk to the guy about it. Would he want to be with you after you left your husband or is it one of those things where "you want what you cant have until you have it then you want something else" things.
2007-02-03 14:37:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful. We older guys just eat it up when a much younger woman pays attention to us. And though sometimes these "May/December" relationships work out beautifully, a guy in his fifties is most often not the best choice for a marriage partner. Morality has nothing to do with it; practicality has. Think: we're much closer to the age at which we'll no longer be able to "get it up". We're that much closer to the infirmities of old age - we're not quite so attractive when we leave our false teeth on the night stand and have to wear Attends because we dribble urine between visits to the bathroom. And it's no fun going out with an old geezer who can't dance with you because of his arthritis and who gets so tired after ten minutes of shopping he wheezes and who sweats like a hog in weather so cool you have to wear a sweater. Nah - a roll in the hay with an old codger can be fun - especially for him - but look for a guy your age for long-term, and leave the old guys (jeez, I hate having to say that!) to the older women. It's the way nature intended things, hon.
2016-05-24 01:17:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know I will probably get a bunch of crap from this comment but here goes... You only live life for yourself. Do what makes you happy. However, before you make any moves give it time first. No last minute decisions. They never work. Only you can make yourself happy. So, by all means, if you are happy...go for it! Don't listen to everyone who tells you to go to counseling...only you can be the judge if you are happy or not. And honey after only 2 years...and you are already fighting...it's not going to last. Move on...make your self happy!
2007-02-03 14:37:23 · answer #9 · answered by ascloud@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been married a whole 12 months?? Things aren't going the way you planned so you run to the rich landlord. This is a joke, right??
2007-02-03 15:31:36 · answer #10 · answered by lightperson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋