I've been divorced since my girls were 2 and now are in college, they are twins, I went to great extent to get one of them working with me to keep her away from the people she was working with, drinking, partying, ect...and her twin over x'mas tried to hint to get her away from the place she worked because she had to take care of her, go get her drunk, ect...I called the owner of the pub, and told him I had called the abc board and they were watching him and letting 18 yr. olds drink and such. I told him she was not coming back...she thanked me, then I got her on working with me, great money, easy job, and not dealing with all the scums she went out with....but, she seems to think because she works for me, she can take off, show up late for work, sleep, not answer the phone ect. I fired her, told her I was cutting her off, wasn't paying her rent at college, and she turned it around making me out to be the bad guy. Am I wronge, I've disowned her and her twin.
2007-02-03 14:10:39 · 7 answers · asked by Confused 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This is a tough one. The problem is, that at that age, most young people still believe the world revolves around them. I don't know how much of a favor we did them trying to make life easier for them than it was for us. But eventually, the chicks have to be shoved out of the nest and start making their own way.
I know how scary that is. I know that we want to be able to stop them from making all the really dumb decisions they are going to make. Prevent some of the problems and heart breaks that are going to come their way... But we can't. They have to learn the same way we did. By making their own mistakes.
You sound to be a lot like me. We are "enablers". That is why we are so easy to be taken advantage of. But the chicks are hitting an age where our protective insticts are lessening. We eventually get tired of being taken for granted and walked all over.
It sounds like it is time for a little tough love. By the way... the worst thing you could do is have family members work where you work. Particularly in instances where their work ethic could reflect badly on yourself. That is why most companys that allow family members to work for their company require that they work in different departments.
LOL, we cannot disown our kids, no matter how much they may disappoint us... but we can make them be responsibile for their own decisions. Not smooth the path out for them anymore.
I wish you much luck. I'm afraid I am dealing with my own brand of similar demons. My two are boys. I know just how hard it is. But, they are going to do what they are going to do. So, we need to get on with our own lives. We can be there to advise if it is asked for... but for the rest... we just need to bow out and let them find out for themselves.
2007-02-03 14:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by diane_b_33594 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, take a breath! disowning your daughters is a little harsh. i am the single mother of a 24 yr old daughter.her father died when she was 4 yrs old. i remarried later, but he left me for a younger woman.so- its just she and me. i supported her through college,and am helping her while she lives in europe.or should i say, i am helping her so that she has the opportunity to live in europe and see places i may never see. sometimes i feel a little under-appreciated. most parents do. but anyway, you have a right to expect yoour daughters to go by the rules of employment. there is no doubt that their behavior is disrespectful. maybe they need a review of the boundries that you should have set for them many years ago.you must be the bigger and more mature person in this, and have a meeting with them to discuss all this hoopla. explain your position, your expectations, and your love for them. you absolutely must patch things up. they are young, and acting out in anger. best wishes
2007-02-03 14:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you already brought him a gift i mean it would be nice of you to pay, but if u can't he should understand that. Don't just say your broke *** didn't spend this much on me, but just hand him his gift and that's it. Don't mention paying for pool and drinks
2016-05-24 01:14:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ouch, i don't really think you should disown them. you have to realize that you taught her/them to lean on you, you always fixed everything and made it easy for them so for you to be shocked when they take advantage of you isn't really fair. they are your children, altho at their age it'll be very difficult especially because you're the one that needs to change the most but TEACH them, guide them. that is our job as parents, not to make life easy and protect them from all evil because reality sucks so teach them to deal.
2007-02-03 14:15:43 · answer #4 · answered by girlysledgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont answer your phone to be avaliable so much, let her be on her own
2007-02-03 14:15:43 · answer #5 · answered by colbydog43 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are completely right
2007-02-03 14:19:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
joust say no.
2007-02-03 14:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by mutt531 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋