I don't understand at all why my husband doesn't ever try to make love to me? We've been together for 4 years now and he has always managed to find an excuse for the way he neglects me, but they are wearing out. I don't think I can deal with this much longer. He is always (and I mean always) satisfying himself, but as soon as I return to the room, he acts like nothing is going on.
He told me one time, if I would get him some viagra from the Dr. that this would help us. I got 16 of them. All of which he took once I had gone to sleep and he was alone. I love him and I know he loves me but I am very confused and I don't know how much more I can take. What is the problem and what can I do to change this?
2007-02-03 13:15:53 · 20 answers · asked by a17blossom 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He's gay.
2007-02-03 13:19:24 · answer #1 · answered by marklemoore 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for what you are going through It sounds like your husband doesn't find you attractive any longer and maybe the only way he can be turned on is when he is jerking off and thinking some very nasty thoughts.I could be wrong about that but not about finding you attractive. You need to buy yourself a wig different color and wear something sexy and see what happens. If that does the trick then you no what the problem is then do something about it.Personally I think it is very selfish of your husband and very hurtful to you in what he is doing.You say that he loves you How in the world can you think that.If he loved you the way you think he does then he couldn't get enough of you.I have been married going on 28 years and my husband wants it all the time.4years into our marriage we were doing it every night unless the baby started to cry.
2007-02-03 21:52:11 · answer #2 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is way past being a problem. This is serious. There must be a reason, because I doubt he will tell you the truth. He hasn't yet. Try to find out. You need to know if it is something you have any control over? Probably not. Don't let months turn into years.
2007-02-03 21:27:55 · answer #3 · answered by Karnak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all the answers you received make sense. but their are some others ...
i suggest you to look at what he masturbates. and does he masturbate often ?
be courageous and face the truth !
if he watches movies, give him what the movies he watches offer.
if he looks at man ... in life does he look at nicely dressed girls ??
maybe you should be more entrepreneurial (proactive or active) ?
are you fat and he does not like it ? colour skin ok ?
he ever told you your smell is delicious or skin taste is hooking ?
are you too complicated for him ??? (some woman are easy, others are complicated !! almost discouraging)
when he tries makking sex to you, do you think at something else ?
you are a too good girl ?? man like bad girls !! and their is one in each woman ... some bad girls are their, others have to be unburried ...
when you make love do you show him you like what he does ?
actually your situation is complicated, serious, but the informations you give are too small.
email me if you want with much more details !! with exemples when it worked ... their is a solution but he seems to be in a bunker now !!
take care of you and your selfesteem ! if you have a nice body, use it ... if not, use your face with "grimaces", grimaces of bad girl !! of provocation ... and assault him ... !! (any man would dream about this !)
good luck in any case and courage !!
ps i had this attitude during some months when my ex had childrens, she became fat, and did not take care of here the first 6 months, whenever i was trying i was rejected ... (historically our couple was very sex based ) so i had this bunker approach. one day we were in the car, she had these sexy sunglasses and beautifull lip stick, i asked here to satisfy me. she did it, and our old basis reappeared. she took courage and 6 months later she almost had the perfect body she had bebore childrens. sex parties started again.
2007-02-03 21:51:33 · answer #4 · answered by tomcat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he can't function with you because he has performance anxiety and he is trying to make that go away with all the masturbating I know that sounds weird but it is another idea to consider. He may be embarrassed about his ED and thought the Viagra would help.
2007-02-03 22:00:34 · answer #5 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are several reasons he could be acting this way.You need to have a serious talk with him and tell him exactly how you feel.You need to explain to him that you are feeling very neglected and that you have need's also.You may need to seek medical help for him.Tell him how much you love him but he is making you feel like he is not attracted to you.Good luck.
2007-02-03 21:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't change it. Whatever it is, he's not talking. I doubt if he'd be willing to talk with anyone in therapy either. But you also need to feel attractive and good about yourself. Get involved in a hobby without him so that you can feel independantly good about yourself. Make yourself cute and attractive to yourself. You have huge sorrow in not having your sexual desires fulfilled but if you can somehow live with that than concentrate on your self esteem. That is where your self-survival is at stake. You obviously love him and are willing to sacrifice alot. Who knows he may have been sexually molested and absolutely will not tell a single soul. He is very fortunate you are his wife.
2007-02-03 21:36:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did he want you to get the Viagra in the first place? It is for men with EF. Does he have that problem and may be ashamed of it?
2007-02-03 21:24:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you catch him doing this, calmly lie down on the bed and say to him "oh don't mind me, i want to watch" if he still denies things then you tell him "OK, then you watch me awhile" and then start slowly, and provocatively pleasuring yourself. if it turns him on, you will get what you want. if it doesn't then continue, only drop hints that you "sure could use some help"
if nothing else than at least you have tried and you have also become quite "satisfied" too.
2007-02-03 21:34:29 · answer #9 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like there are 4 possibilities here
1. He's gay
2. He's gettin' it on with someone else
3. He's not attracted to you
4. All of the above
I'd go with #4
Get out, why waste your time??
2007-02-03 21:21:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Who is the girlfriend , hes not thinking of you when hes punching the clown , and as for the Viagra shes probably reaping the benefits of that too.
2007-02-03 21:20:30 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋