Is it rape if it's a man with his wife?

Question

This is a serious question and I need to know .I'm confused right now and am not sure.My husband insists that it's not, because I promised to "give that to him" when I married him. Why are some men kind and loving,while others are down-right mean to their wives at times? I try and try, but it's never enough or good enough. I have no family to turn to-I just need some advice. We've been married for 6 1/2 yrs. I'm 30, he's 47(and in excellent physical shape for 47). We have no kids.Yet, I'm afraid if I leave he will do something crazy. Advice?

Answer 1

I'm betting you're his trophy wife and you will be in poverty if you leave. In you're mind this justifies the abuse you endure. You need to show some self esteem, and leave. If you have to go to a womens shelter then do so till you get on your feet. I'm betting you signed a prenup too huh? Just spitballing here.

Answer 2

If you just give in and give him what he wants then no... but if you are saying no, not now, i don't want to etc then yes even if you are married it is Rape. You do not have to give him sex when he wants it just b/c he wants it. I would talk to a councilor about how you feel and see what come from that. I left an abusive husband and it took me a long time and some counseling b/f i saw how that can be called rape while your married. But when your telling him no and he forces it is rape no matter who he is. And if you leave him and he threatens to harm you call the police file an order of protection. Good luck, i hope things work out for you.

Answer 3

If he forces himself on you without your conscent then it is most definitely rape. It sounds like he has some domination issues.If you are not comfortable with his advances you should save some money and get out before he hurts you.Look in the yellow pages for a shelter that you could run to if needed.Also contact these shelters and find out if they may have other connections in different towns.This will give you other options in case you have to leave town.Make a small phone index that you can grab in a hurry so you will have these numbers.Make sure to include the police,sheriffs department and a rape crisis line.These people will help you get where you need to be.

Answer 4

Hun it doesnt matter if you are married or not. You have the right to refuse him sex if you are not in the mood..he doesnt own you?
Yes, it is still considered rape if you told him no.
There is no difference.
If you are being mistreated in this manner, you need to get out of the relationship. Sex should be enjoyable between two partners, and you are not there to endulge him when he feels the need.
Dont be afraid of him doing something crazy if you leave.
If you are fearful of him, then go somewhere that will give you some protection.
Get a restraining order against him and attempt to move on with your life. Relocate to a different state if necessary but get out of that situation.
Its not healthy and its definately abuse that you are being subjected to.
Good luck hun.

Answer 5

Whether you're with your Husband, boyfriend, or a stranger, as soon as you say NO then it's rape, you can ring the police, ring the rape crisis line, talk to a friend, or do what I'd do, get a restraining order against him, and leave his pathetic *** behinde, sweety you DO NOT have to put up with this type of behaviour, get out before there are kids involved, I've been where you are now and it's hard to find the courage to actually pack up and leave, the crisis line can put you in touch with people who can help you get your things together when he's at work, PLEASE GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN,take care, Yvette

Answer 6

It can be rape. The laws of your state might be unique, but in any case, legal rape or not, this is NOT healthy.
I would NOT want to make love to someone that was mean to me. Sounds like marriage counseling is the first step. Maybe you should talk to a lawyer. Most of them don't charge for the initial consultation, so go talk to a divorce lawyer. He will have a lot of experience having seen a lot of different cases. He might even be able to recommend a marriage counselor.

Answer 7

Yes, it's still rape if you're his wife. I think you should seek couseling, for yourself and as a couple. He may not be aware of what he's doing. (some guys are just that clueless).

I'm a huge advocate of doing whatever one can to save their marriage. But it won't happen if your husband doesn't care about saving it. So, even though I advise counseling so you two can fix things, don't put your safety in danger either.

I hope you two can find whatever it was that made you fall in love and get married.

Answer 8

First off, anytime a woman says no to sex and is forced into it, YES, it is rape. If your husband has raped you then you are in a dangerous situation and should get out now. If he is the type to get violent with you and do something stupid then you should get help. Your local police or sheriff department will investigate and make an arrest if you can show that there was force. Unfortunately, there isn't much they can do unless there are signs of force such as bruises and signs of struggle. But if you go to them they will help you get out.

Answer 9

Rape is sex which has been forced upon another person, even if that person is their spouse. I believe that every time your husband coerces or forces you into sex, it is rape because i do not recall any line in the marriage vows that specifically states that you must have sex whenever your husband wants it, whether you want to or not.

If the courts do not accept this type of behaviour between spouses, why should you.

Answer 10

Any non-concentual sex is rape, even if its with your husband. I am a sexual assault crisis line couselor, I know what I am talking about. If you need help open the front of the yellow pages and call the sexual assault centre in your area and get couseling to help you decide. Take care Heather