i don't know where i should put this question, but i really need advice?

Question

ok here it goes, so i am married and i have been for awhile and we have childern together. when we first got married my husband cheated on me, i forgave me and we moved one. Well couple of years ago i cheated on my husband with a co-worker, it only happend a few times, which is way less than my husband. I know two wrongs don't make a right but still. So it ended between me and this guy and we remained friends but never told anyone. We never hung out but we still worked together. We just recently we have worked together more often and the same stuff is happening again, we have NOT done anything other than talk about stuff. I love my husband dearly but I feel like there is something in me thats wantes to be young again, i don't like that feeling and i don't know what to do. Anyone with any advice would be great. If you are gonna slam then be prepared to be reported.

thats the thing me and my husband have a very active sex life. I think the problem lies somewhere between our age and the fact that neither one of us had dated anyone else. we have always been together, except when he cheated and i cheated. its not revenge sex, i don't want to do it again with this guy but the feeling is there, its weird i can't explain it. i'm not a bad person.

Answer 1

if you are finding yourself drawn to your coworker then i feel you should seperate and avoid the temptation.....having an affair i dont think makes you feel young it fills a void in your current situation....try doing fun things with hubby maybe get away alone every now and then....spice things up at home and im sure you will forget about this coworker.....
put yourself in your husbands shoes....how would you feel if you were him....

Answer 2

l'm sure you are not a bad person but what you have both done to each other is wrong and should never happen. It is very true "two wrongs do not make a right " l would suggest that perhaps you change jobs so then there would not be the temptation to cheat again. If you truly love your husband you must stay away from this other man. l know first hand how being cheated on feels and so do you. Is that really how you want to spend the rest of your married life ?? Do something about it before it is too late. Best of luck

Answer 3

I'm sure you're not a bad person, if you were you'd cheat again and not look back. Most of this probably does have to do with the fact that you never dated anyone else seriously. Sweetie we are all tempted from time to time when there is an attraction. After all we're married not dead! You need to find another outlet for your need to be young again. You could try having a girls night or take classes in something that interests you. You know you can't start cheating again or you wouldn't have put your worries on YA. The ramifications of seeing this man again are to horrendous to even think about. I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

I guess the questions you have to ask yourself are do you still love your husband? Do you love your co-worker? Is there a wife and kids involved on his end? Every woman wants to feel the sparks of love/romance as if it were the first time. But even if you were to leave your husband and start a more serious relationship with your co-worker, eventually those sparks would fade too. Would a 2nd honeymoon with your husband be possible? Or at least a romantic "date"? If you can, leave the kids with friends/relatives for a night. (Valentine's Day is coming up!) But this has to be your decision. Don't let anyone pressure you and take your time. Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best!

Answer 5

You are playing with fire honey. What does sex outside of your marriage have to do with being young? Your marriage vows have been broken by both of you. This is a terribly sad state of affairs (oops, pun not intended).
Either fess up, get into counselling or move on. How can you look the man you 'love' in the eyes? How can you be playing games with this other guy? You know you will do it again if given the chance.
If sex is a problem between you and your husband, then you have no idea that the hottest, most awesome sex can be between 2 monogamous people who truly love each other and not just say they do. How can that happen now that you are living a lie? Sex has nothing to do with being young. What you are doing, is essentially, immature.
Don't you want to live a clean and happy life? And you have children? This trickles down to them. What are you teaching them? What if you have affairs and the guy hurts you or your family? If you get caught, your life as you know it will be changed forever. Not to mention, how wrong this all is.
Oh my gosh, please be a woman of virtue and character. You can do this. You came here for advise, please consider this carefully.

Answer 6

You should suaver all connections with this friend/ co-worker. The more you put your self in a position to be around him, there is always the chance of opportunity to rekindle old flames. You are walking a fine line. By not doing this in the first place, I can't help but wonder if you weren't hanging on to a friendship that could be more, for future references, if need be.
If you truly love your husband, get away from this person, never be alone with him, and keep in mind, that the feelings you have for this co-worker carries no baggage so its easy to feel good and free with him. He is a great place to run when the real world is loading you down. But that is all it will ever be. Gambling with affairs will catch up with you. You should want more than that. Someone to love unconditionally, grow old and secure with. You can have a great marriage, you have to use all your time working on it though! :)

Answer 7

If I only had the wisdom of Solomon, but since I don't I can only tell you what I think. First, not knowing if you sincerely confessed your sin the first time has given you a weakness that is now hard to resist the second time. So, I’d say confront this individual and apologize for what happened before and make it clear that you are NOT interested now. Don’t give any indication that you are interested even if you are tempted. Simply walk away from every situation where you could potentially get into trouble with them. Since you and your husband now have “worked things out” don’t go back on that trust you have reestablished. May God bless you in your effort.

Answer 8

Well, how would you feel today if you found out your husband was cheating again? Do you still love your husband? Are you in love with your husband? Have you thought about counselling? I think if you want to be with someone else you should let your husband know the truth. There is no point in staying in a marriage that you don't want to be in and you are not committed to. I'm not trying to give you a hard time, I'm just asking the hard questions.

Answer 9

I think it is funny that you are telling people not to slam you..Why would you say that other than the fact that you know you are a low life.Go ahead report me i don't care.People like you have no business being married obviously you & your husband have no respect for eachother.How can you say that you love your husband if you are talking to this other guy and you have these feelings of as you say wanting to be young again.That is not what you are feeling What you are feeling is that you are gonna cheat again and you don't know how to control yourself.Think about it.I think you ought to prepare to lose your husband and be known as a loose person.And by the way you can't report people for giving their opinions that is what this site is all about we can't help it that their are low lifes like yourself on here.So report on..LOL..Your a fluzy..I also find it funny that you are trying to convince yourself that you are not a bad person your not convincing me and I feel sorry for your children..They will be ashamed of you and your husband when they learn the truth.

Answer 10

well you know the saying life is to short but it also gets boreing sometime.So what I'm saying is that your relationship with your husband needs some excitement in it . Dont throw it away because of something diffrent or some guy telling you what you want to hear ! I'm sureyou love your husband , just mix it up so that the same energy that your felling with your co-worker comes from your husband . It seems like a good idea but dont do it, you'll just have guilt and it might tare you apart and your husband who loves you too, I'm sure it will work !

Answer 11

If you love your husband I would resist the urge to repeat your past affair. Can you get a different job to resist the temptation? Maybe tell this guy, "Look I know what happened in the past but that was the past if we cant be just friends then we better not be around each other". There are other ways to feel young, try to spice up you and your husbands sex life and/or join a gym.