my husband left his wife(not for me) 6yrs ago because she was a controlling b-tch.now 6yrs later shes still calling the shots.plus she hates me and makes my life hell.she makes it very clear she will do what ever it takes to keep me from developing a relationship with their 8yr old son.my husband allows this because he does not want to make waves with her for his sons sake.does this make sence?is there anyone else out there with this problem?
2007-02-03 12:40:57 · 12 answers · asked by marymakey1974 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes, when I met my husband 10 years ago he was kissing his ex's butt big time, his reason was he didnt want her to try to get more support. Well finally after all these years he doesnt do it anymore. I told him whether you kiss her butt or not she can still do it. Well guess what, we have custody now (for the last 6 years) and just had a review and now she has to pay support to him!!!!
2007-02-03 12:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by chemky1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you the reason for the breakup? If so, she will never forgive you and will make your life hell, and I don't blame her. If not, you really have to swallow your pride and try to become friends with the ex. Call her up and ask her opinion about something to do with the son. Tell her what a great mother you think she is, what a nice boy she has raised, etc. Your poor husband is caught in the middle and he is afraid that if he speaks up, she won't let him see his son. So it is up to you to woo the ex so that she doesn't resent you so much. When you are with the boy, always compliment his mother somehow so that it gets back to her. If none of this works, hang in there and hope things get better as the boy gets older or the ex finds someone else. Just remember that your husband has to put his son first, and rightly so -- when you marry a man with children, you are not going to be his first priority.
2016-05-24 01:02:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay ...you need to re-evaluate this relationship that you are in with him. It is supposed to be YOU and HIM...right? I suggest perhaps you both consider a sit down with a councillor, a mediator or the likes .This is not good in your relationship at all. It's time to come to bat on this one. I had a meddling EX husband and his woman was the driving force behind it too. I hated her.I ended up moving far away. It was not an easy decision but they both wreaked havoc on my new relationship with my second husband.I gave a very good life up, moved away, and the second marriage fell apart as well. I am now a single mother struggling to get back her life in her chosen nursing profession.I made mistakes .Moving was not the right decision, but it sure felt it at that time. I wish you well.get help on this one.Its your life too just remember that one sentence!! YOUR LIFE 2...katie!!
2007-02-03 12:48:58 · answer #3 · answered by Good Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she wore the pants in the family and still is. However I can understand to a certain extent because of the child. He doesnt need to be brought into the middle of anything. Thats just childish on her part.
However, if she is disrespecting you, then he needs to stand up and say "Hey, like it or not......(your name) if part of my life and will be a part of (sons name). You are going to just have to accept this fact and stop creating problems. It isnt going to change anything and i wont allow you to create problems between myself and (your name)."
He needs to be a man.
I dont think you are being unreasonable in requesting that he have some nuts to him.
I wish you all the luck girl. Good luck
2007-02-03 12:49:44 · answer #4 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i would do is concentrait on your husband. You need to figure out how to control that situation. There is a way. Just start calling your own shots. When it comes to the child. He needs to relize that you are a part of the family to. But he needs to work that out. They are always gonna have the child between them. Just dont let her use that agianst you.
2007-02-03 12:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by redfirecracker2007 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont have that problem but your husband needs to make a stand or his ex will always control his life.
when he chose to marry you he placed you at the head of the line. as far as trying to keep it smooth for the son as long as the ex can use the son as leveriage she will continue to. so tell him to grow a set and stand up
2007-02-03 12:46:38 · answer #6 · answered by josie r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now, first of all you need to TAKE the ball into your court!! Tell her to leave you alone! If you feel that your husband needs to get a backbone with her, then tell him to MAN UP!!! He needs to make it clear that she does not control him anymore!!
2007-02-03 12:47:51 · answer #7 · answered by Yay me!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a wuss? No offense. I would tell him how this makes you feel. At some point you are going to get tired of living like that. Tell him to make changes or you are leaving. Maybe he will or maybe he isn't worth it.
2007-02-03 12:45:09 · answer #8 · answered by Deborah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is why she is the EX.
yes...my wife of 6 months tried to get my kids away from us...and that did'nt happen!! I would not allow it!
put a restraining order on the cow!!
and since your hubby is weak...control him like she did..he will bow to you then!!
i hate people like her!!, i like you for putting up with the two clowns....we should meet!!!hahahaha.
serious.....restrain the cow!!
good luck.
2007-02-03 12:47:28 · answer #9 · answered by transvainia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like to me your hubby is still being pussy whipped by his ex. u need to put your foot down. u need to tell your husband that ur part of the childs life now, and she needs to get over it. she also needs to be glad that u're even wanting to have something to do with him. and you love him .. unlike some step moms, hating their step child...
2007-02-03 12:45:49 · answer #10 · answered by ickybones2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋