What do you think about......?

Question

What do you think about threesomes? Me and my wife are thinking about a MFM threesome. Any advise or expierences?

Looking to spice things up!

Answer 1

My wife and I have had many MFM threesomes, and they have all be great except one (the fault of the other guy, nothing to do with us).

Just be sure that both of you are on the same page about it, which it sounds like you are. As long as it is both of your fantasy, you both have a good handle on the difference between having sex with someone and being in love someone, and neither of you are the jealous sort, you'll have a great time and a very positive experience that could bring you even closer together.

For some really good, objective information about this, check-out The Swingers Board. You'll find not only good basic info (such as do's and don'ts), but also a whole plethora of personal experiences both good and bad on the forums.

I feel that asking this question here is not getting you the objective information you need. You hear allot of "she'll leave you for the other guy" and "It will break you up." Well, I guess if your relationship was built on sex and nothing else then she could leave you for someone else (shows you how much some really know about love, huh?) and I know from personal experience that I've never seen anyone break-up because of swinging (and a threesome is "swinging"), but that there were other issues in the relationship that they were trying to fix through swinging. They thought having sex with other people would magically fix them not liking each other. Swinging was just the coup de' gras on the relationship.

Basically, swinging won't fix a bad relationship, but it sure won't hurt a good one. Or as a wise and open-minded non-swinger friend once observed about swinging:

"Swinging is the icing on the cake of marriage. But if all the ingredients aren't in the cake to make it solid to begin with, all the icing in the world won't keep it from crumbling."

Answer 2

For some strange reason I find that i'm more comfortable if I know the guy involved (as opposed to her bringing a guy that she knows into the mix)

Sorry to come out preachy but you asked: i think that the main thing about any change of relationship on that level is honesty. You definitely have to be super honest with yourself about yourself, your feelings, and your relationship one obviously still needs to be honest to one's partner & all that, but the first stage is even more important (to be honest to and with yourself) 'cos if you cheat yourself that you can handle those situations and then find yourself resenting your girlfriend and trying to fight a guy off your girl when you invited him in the first place; it's not a pleasant thing to feel or watch.

Then you've got to trust your wife because where as things might go well the first time, when you choose a guy one way, if she wants to suggest something you suggested e.g. where to source the potentially lucky guy, you've got to know that you'd be ok with that.

I can only be that easy going if I don't have long term plans for the girl i'm involved with, not in a bad way; i just can't commit and risk feeling the pain of getting betrayed. Then again, i've never given trust as a husband before.

So basically, my answer is that there's nothing wrong with threesomes only if I were you i wouldn't call them that because the various mixes would be that different: MFM and FMF come with complications. If you explore every angle and not leave out anything you both think might be obvious like not talking to the third party about proposing the idea of a get together before discussing that third party with your partner, or how, who & when this third party would be approached and what kind of relationship would it be ok for them to already have with either one of you e.g. a friend one/both of you trust a total stranger who stays that way, how often they should happen and if you have any plans to stop having occasional/frequent threesomes or if the change in your sex life is supposed to be permanent.

I think you guys would be fine. I would fuss allover the place and possibly put my wife off the whole thing beacuse of my fussing... but i'm sure you're better organised.

good luck!

Answer 3

Niiiice. I've had one twice with the same guys and it was wonderful cuz we're all friends and still friends to this day. But I was single then, I totally believe in spicin things up in the bedroom, but I don't know about when its your wife or girlfriend. I'd always be afraid they would connect and soon an affair would start with them two, but maybe that's just me lol. If you do it, just choose the other guy wisely. But I give mfm threesomes like 10 thumbs up myself lol.

Answer 4

You are headed for divorce. You and your wife should have done this before you got married. You must be gay also. I would never do a MFM threesome. That's just plain gay. Seeing another guy do my significant other is not my idea of a good time. It may be her idea of a good time, so something must not be working right for her.

Answer 5

I ruined my friends marriage. they picked a close friend and she started bragging to everyone and things spun out of control. Why would you want some other nasty person to touch your wife so intimately? I am down for a good freaky time but I would never do that if I took those vows. Should have stayed single for that. Really think of the things that could go wrong and stop thinking below the belt for awhile.

Answer 6

I've only done the FMF threesomes. They are awesome. No strings attatched fun. At first it's a little weird but I got over that right away and it was an awesome experience.

Answer 7

I don't think there will be a problem at first if she wants to do it and has an understanding and yourself. But after that the relationship will be different, so be careful. Aye by the way, is it going to be two men and the woman or two women and and one man.

Answer 8

You need to be on top of both physical health and emotional health as well. A couple of questions need to be addressed by the two of you. The second guy--do you want him to be gay, bi, or hetero? Is he someone you know or a total stranger. The latter is usually preferred, but the one you know least about.

Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality. That comes from experience.

Answer 9

I have know people that have and you need to be emotionally ready for the problems that will come up. The risk of disease and the destruction of what you have. Forget it and look for other ways to spice up your sex life that involves just you and your wife.

Answer 10

I think that you would be setting yourself up for heartache. Few people can be so detached that they could bring a third person into their marriage without feelings of jealousy. Fantasy is fine. Talk about and have fun with your fantasies. In fantasy, there is no jealousy, STDs, erectile dysfunctions, etc., etc. Reality is another story.