I can't take it anymore!?

Question

My parents have been married for 9 years and the last 2 year they have really started to get on my nerves. They have at least 1 big fight every 2 weeks and 3 small fights thrown in there some where ( on average ) They won't get a divorce and they know they want to but they wont bc they are afraid it will hurt me, but what really hurts me is the fact that they are even staying together. I want to talk to them but I am to afraid they will think that I am asking them to get a divorce. I can't stand running away and hiding any more or the yelling. I can't stand the mean words or the hitting or shuving. I just want a normal life. What do I do??

Answer 1

Sorry to hear about your situation. Most of the times parents get divorced which hurts the children but in your case it seems as if staying together is hurting you. Counseling might be the best answer. If they are fighting like that (mean word, hitting and shoving) then it is best to confront them about it. If you don't feel like you are strong enough to physically tell them or are scared to do so then print out a copy of your question and the list of every body's answer. They'll get the hint. Maybe they think you don't know what is going on or they're being naive about the situation. If you shed some light on it maybe they'll work harder on making it right for you, since you should be their main priority.

Take care and God bless

Answer 2

So sorry to hear of your situation. I am afraid that you are in a tough spot. I don't know how old you are but your parents seem more immature than you. I always believe it is better to attack the problems straight on than to run away or never try. I think you need some support from someone (grandmother, minister, councilor, or ??? who you can talk to about your situation. Then I think you and your supporter (you may have to do it yourself) sit your parents down and tell them how much it hurts you to have them argue and fight. If they know how it hurts you they may try to find a way to live with each other or if not, at least they will know that you think they would be better off apart. No matter what they decide to do, you didn't cause any of it and even if you tell them you don't care if they get a divorce it may be a better world for you. It will not be easy but do your best. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

For the most part id stay out of it.. , but if u want to talk to your parents, u need to approach them in the right way, if u just approach it under the pretense of the fighting is none of your business, but that the hatefulness of it, is affecting you negatively. You have to understand, grown up do fight.. unfortunately the way ur parents are going about it is in a disfunctional way.. and that part isnt right for you.. so u need to approach it as how they are fighting and not why they are fighting.. Some people tend to get into a trend of fighting, seems that is there only way of handling issues. Instead of learning how to communicate the proper way.. some people can actually love each other dearly but its become a routine to have these hateful fights that u wouldnt know it from an outsiders point of view..

And one thing is remember parents arent perfect they make mistakes, and half of the mistakes parents make they dont even realize how its affecting the children.. till much later.. be smart enough to learn from ur parents mistakes, so that u dont make the same mistakes urself when ur an adult and a parent..

Answer 4

Let them know that their arguing is causing you all of this stress. Just be honest. You don't have to tell them to get a divorce, if they realize how this is effecting you they will try to work things out. Counselling would be a great idea if they really want to stay together. I'm sure once they know how upsetting it is for you they will do their best to end the fighting. Good luck.

Answer 5

Arguments are normal. Hitting and shoving isn't. And it's sickly unfair to you that you must witness this chaos.

#1. When mom and dad hit each other, ALWAYS remind yourself that THAT is in no way a healthy thing to do. A real man NEVER hits a woman. A SICK woman entices a man to hit her by hitting him.
#2 FIND a healthy married couple to role model for you the way loving adults behave. I believe that's crucial for you to be able to live out a good and happy life.
#3 You call, or get someone you trust(school counselor? parent of a good friend?) to call Child Protective Services. They'll investigate your chaotic home life and try to help.
#4 Show this webpage to your parents and let them read your question and let them read the answers. I have my doubts if this one will work, but I doubt it'll hurt anything.

Answer 6

If your parents are truly miserable being together they should not stay together to spare your feelings. Because it's not sparing your feelings when you have to hear the constant fighting and bickering. Ask them if they are still in love and if they want to save their marriage they need some counseling. If they don't love each other than it's time they go their separate ways.

Answer 7

you should just tell them how you feel. if they know how you feel maybe they wont be so hesitant to separate and then maybe they could work things out or get the divorce they both want. as with any parent their first concern is you!!

Answer 8

Print this email and give it to them. They think they are doing you a favor by staying together, if you make it clear to them that their being miserable is making you miserable too they will probably split.

Answer 9

which ever parent u cool with and can easily talk to, u need to sit down and talk with that person. ask your mother or father why is it they are like that and let her know that u dont mind if they seperate if that is hindering them from do it.

Answer 10

Tell them just what you told us sweetie. It will free them up to make better choices. Bless your heart.
I hope things improve.