Men and Women Please Respond.Could you ever be in or have you ever been in a open sexual relationship?

Question

I am a psychologist and am currently doing some research in the area on relationships. Do you believe that a couple can have an open sexual relationship with other partners, both together or not, and still be deeply in love and committed to one another? Have you ever been or are you still in a sexually open relationship? Does sex between two or more people purely for the purpose of sexual gratification exist? Can you have a sexual relationship with some one and not grow emotionally attached? Some claim open sexual relationships last longer and are less stressful due to the “mistrust” issue 85% of relationships suffer from, while others claim you can’t have a relationship unless its monogamous. I implore you to answer honestly and openly. Share your beliefs, thoughts, ideas, and experiences alike. No “none of your business” answers please, as this is a very serious question. Thank you for your input.

Answer 1

i believe that sex is for a married couple ONLY. no sharing. that is sick. and sex is supposed to connect a couple and make them ONE. it is supposed to be emotional and connect 2 people. i don't believe that it can be a healthy relationship if people are having sex all over the place with different partners. its like giving a piece of your soul to every person you are with. my husband is the only person i have has sex with and he is the only person that has my entire heart. not just a piece of it that was left over from any other guys.

Answer 2

1-Do you believe that a couple can have an open sexual relationship with other partners, both together or not, and still be deeply in love and committed to one another? Yes they can if they are mature enough to weigh all the pros and cons against such a realtionship and lay down boundaries such as no sex without protection 2-Have you ever been or are you still in a sexually open relationship? No never been but if was ill and my partner needed to do this then i would try to be understanding as i would see it as a gift that i could them for not being closed minded and enabling them to be their full potential 3-Does sex between two or more people purely for the purpose of sexual gratification exist? Yes and always will some cant go through life without wanting everyman or woman they meet for a sexual ego boost if there is more than two people involved such is often seen as a postitive then a negative 4-Can you have a sexual relationship with some one and not grow emotionally attached yes but wouldnt do it its not right to play with others emotions

Answer 3

I am not poly, no. And yes, I am an old fashioned girl when it comes to sex adn love.

I have an interesting situation- I am ridiculously happy in my marriage- the level of compatability is off teh charts here. I do not want anyone else, I do not want to share. If he dies before me, I will not look for a new mate- who could live up to him? I have never met anyone else really worth the effort a marriage takes.

I have known polys. I'm not sure it is any more or less stable than "normal" relationships. I gather they only graze outside of the core relationship, and thus do not build anything else. I have also known one group marriage- two couples. She said it took good scheduling but was managable. That group seemed stable and happy.

I have also known many folk (usually men) who view sex as strictly a fun physical thing to do- almost like a sport. I have also watched many females wreck themselves on this rocky shore- at least my generation assumes so much more to sex than just physical pleasure (if I had a dollar for "It'll be different with me").

Answer 4

Most of my dating relationships have been non-committed, "don't ask don't tell" relationships when we both kept our options open to see other people, but we didn't discuss it with each other. I *know* it is possible for the two people have a sexual relationship, and yet to be in control of their "feelings", and not get too attached. Some of my best relationships were "friends with benefits". However, I would not want to be in an "open" long-term relationship or marriage. While I don't feel that having sex with other people in and of itself is a big deal - I do think that it is "playing with fire"; some people are good at controlling their emotions, but others tend to allow the "feelings" to cloud their better judgement. I can trust myself to be "in control", but I really wouldn't trust my partner; I would always feel threatened by the fact that he just *may* find someone he falls "in love" with, and our relationship will be destroyed.

Answer 5

I believe a person cannot be "in love" and be in an open relationship. We're not wired that way. Sex is the is the ultimate physical expression of the spiritual/emotional part of love. You also cannot share the spiritual/emotional part with anyone else if you are truly in love. But I do believe aperson in love can cheat under certain circumstances.
I also believe that two poeople can like each other a lot and and have an open sexual relationship, but not in love.

Answer 6

I could never do that. I am not generally jealous, but the thought of my one and only doing it to someone else would make me pretty dern near insane. I wouldn't degrade myself that way. I read an article in Tango Magazine a few months ago ... "inside an open marriage" or something like that was the title. Poor author didn't realize how horribly depressed she sounded! Jealousy is a natural human emotion. Even God describes Himself as jealous. I don't see how anyone with morals and self esteem could do it. Freaky lust filled people, though. Yeah, I can imagine that one, no problem.

Answer 7

My hubby and I have enjoyed sex with other married couples. Swapping is the term applied. He would be in one bedroom with the other man's wife and I would be in another bedroom with her hubby. Mutual agreement on all parts. NO attachment at all and NO guilt.
The relationship must be strong from the getgo to survive this type of arrangement though. If it isn't it is doomed. It wasn't like we did this all the time. Maybe once a month or every 2 months. You MUST know all parties involved also to avoid promiscious disease spreading. I knew the other couple was VERY(EXTREMELY) selective who they engaged into this type of behavior with and would NOT risk any disease upon themselves or anyone else. Just adding a little spice to everyone's life.
Married for 20 yrs. and going strong.

Answer 8

i personally dont believe that i can be in open sexual relationship and still be deeply in love for one if i'm deeply in love with someone i cant see myself givin my body to another man and if i am sexually involved with another man i may start to grow feelings for him so i dont believe that i will be able to stay committed. and i do believe that sex between people just pleasure exsist because u have people that have been involved or is involved in a bad relationship and the thought of bein in another is out of the question but yet they still want to have sex so if they go out and have sex whether is with one or multiple partners they use that/those person/people just for their pleasure and then you have those people that are deeply in love with that special that is perfect in all areas except the bedroom and they go out and get that and only that because they dont want to leave the other person they are with because theres nothing wrong with them but their lack of experience in the bedroom

Answer 9

You're asking a lot of questions in one question.

To answer your topic question....no I've never been in an open sexual relationship....and I would never be in one.

I think sex is fun and enjoyable but just with one person who I have made a long-term commitment with.

Sex as simply recreation with whomever just doesn't appeal.

Answer 10

And what better forum for a psychologist to do true experimental research in than a Yahoo! message board?

Where did you get your degree, Clown College?

If you didn't, then you know even if you do get responses, your findings can't be used or reported on or included in a report to a peer-reviewed journal. Unless you care to scan and show us the IRB forms you filed out for this ethnographic ex post facto study, for starters.