she is 12 years old and says things like why are you only happy when rob is here (rob is my finance been together for 6 years) and if you had to kiss one of us goodbye who would it be me or rob. I try to make her feel special but what can I do, please help....
2007-02-03 09:46:39 · 12 answers · asked by pringles 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
This is obviously a cry for attention from your daughter. She needs to feel important in your life again. She wants to spend more time with her mom. Which won't last for long, so take advantage of it. Have a "date" once a week with her, where it is just you and her and go do something fun.
If this doesn't seem to work, then I'd go see a doctor, maybe she is suffering from some kind of depression?? good luck
2007-02-03 13:19:12 · answer #1 · answered by freemannichole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's known Rob for 6 years then, but you don't mention how they get on, or how long this problem has existed. If recent then its probably down to her age, 12 is a difficult time for a girl, not quite a woman, not quite a child. Take her out for the day, or have a weekend together, just the 2 of you, and ask her why she feels that you don't connect anymore. You say that she says 'you are only happy when Rob is here' does that mean you don't live with Rob? Are you talking about moving in together? Maybe she's worried about that happening?
2007-02-03 10:09:18 · answer #2 · answered by Ellie L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
congrats on the engagement by the way. has it happened lately? because she may be feeling a bit neglected. its not ur fault, clearly ur going to be over the moon and happy when Rob is around, and if she sees you acting any other way when he's not around she may think its cuz of her. daft i kno...but dats kids.
just try spending a day with just her...no Rob, u don't have to take her out, just watch a few films together, someting like that and ask her half way thru the day why she feels you don't love her as much as Rob. just tell her she is ur daughter and she will always come first...but u may need to show it 2 her.
if Rob asks u 2 spend a night out with him, make sure ur daughter is in the room and turn him down, say ur spending the night with ur daughter, if u think Rob'll react badly to this then talk to him b4 n get him 2 ask infront of her already having told him what u plan to do.
anyway, i hope this was some kind of help. good luck!
2007-02-04 06:05:10 · answer #3 · answered by evilbunnyhahaha 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, Do you act different or happier when Rob is there? If your all down & depressed when hes not around then she realizes that & probably blames herself. If her biological father is not around & its been just you & her then shes used to that & it will take time to adjust & could be jealous. But since its been 6 years has she always been like this? Maybe she needs to know that shes loved & important, spend time with her & if you already do then spend more time with her!! How has Rob reacted to all this? Does he respect her & be nice? If he gets jealous around your daughter then kick him to the cirb! I don't care if he means the world to you, if hes not treating your daughter right kick him out. Talk to Rob about the issue of your daughter. Mayb eif her dad left or abandon her or was not around shes scared Rob will leave to & does't want to get close to him because of that. The best thing to do is talk to ROb & your daughter, let her explain her opinion & her reasons & then reason with her. Good Luck!
2007-02-03 11:09:09 · answer #4 · answered by Carly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know you like both but in different ways...
Like having one mate who you play cards with and aonther who you like swimming with. And you like swimming and cards... and either is not going to take the other away.
Likwise with you its a mummy kiss...
Withb rob its a kiss with tongue and soon she will want to touch kiss boys... will that means she does not love mum any more ? No it just means she needs a boyfriend as well
2007-02-03 14:31:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well think about what shes feeling!! I know you must be really happy, and she will be happy for you in a few years, but right now its like, wow, my mum is abandoning me.
and if you and her dad arent together she probably feels like he abandoned her too.
In her eyes, parents are there for her, but if she feels like her dad is there for someone else, and now you are too... that could really get her down.
Make her feel special, but not with presents. She wants love, and presents could spoil her. :] hope that helpsxx
2007-02-04 05:27:40 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am guessing that her dad isn't around... tha tis probably the problem... thats how it is at my house... my mother acts like she only cares about us and is happy when her stupid boyfriend is around... i hate him... the best thing to do is try to explain to her that that isn't true and don't stop until she gets it... if u give up then she will think less of herself like why doesn't she care anymore or whast not
2007-02-03 09:51:25 · answer #7 · answered by ConFuZzled? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always answer in her favor to any of these questions. It never hurts to reassure her that she comes first. Your fiance should understand because he is an adult.
2007-02-03 17:39:27 · answer #8 · answered by lisa b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take her out for a spa day and shopping explain to her that you love them in different ways spend more alone time with her at the movies out to eat the mall etc...........
2007-02-03 09:50:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
tAKE A TRiP.
a WEEKEND.
NOT BECASUE ROB iS GONE, BECASUE YOU WANT TO SPEND TiME WiTH YOU GURLiE.
dONT LOSE HER NOW OR YOU WiLL NEVER GET HER BACK.
2007-02-03 16:57:17 · answer #10 · answered by BECCA c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋