My husbands ex wife has called me to TELL me that her son needs to go to the dentist,and that I should take him. Is this crazy or is it me?
2007-02-03 09:15:37 · 22 answers · asked by boo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this is your husband's child, she may see that it his kid as well and he wants to take care of their son. And because you are his spouse, she probably sees you as a collective team and that you both as husband and wife help each other out. So that she may indirectly see you as helping sharing responsibility to care for people in your husband's life. So if that is the case - help out if you can. If it is or is not your husband's child, try to clarify the misunderstandings between you both. Tell her gently how you feel about the situation, try to help out if you can. She may be his past wife but you're not enemies.
2007-02-03 09:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by bleu 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband has custody of the child, then it is his responsibility to take care of his health needs. It really isn't the ex- wife's place to place demands on you. If it were a scheduling issue, and they needed help getting the child to the dentist, a request for help would be more appropriate than a demand to do it. Tell her to piss off, and from now on, if she has an issue to work through regarding the child, she needs to deal directly with the child's father, and not you.
2007-02-03 09:30:45 · answer #2 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't see a problem with you taking him to the dentist, as long as she ASKED you if you could help out because....(xxx whatever). He is your stepson, and it should not be a big deal to help out once in a while.
Just think of it this way, would you be reacting the same way if it was your sister or sibling that asked if you could help out? Probably not.
Was it in the way she "presented" the idea? I suppose that makes all the difference in the world. If you were asked politely, that is one thing, but if she TOLD you that you were going to do it, then that is definitely a problem, and she does not have that kind of control over you. In that case, I'd tell my husband to speak to her and clear the air about "duties" & custody, and who takes care of what....also to have him let her know that you don't take orders from her, but you will certainly take polite requests into consideration.
2007-02-03 12:26:29 · answer #3 · answered by catchernkeeper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who has custody? And also why can't you? For some reason you seem put out by her request. Maybe she is telling you because she needs some help with it. Take the high road, it's for the kids sake after all. There's plenty of other stuff to fret about I'm sure. Just do it for the kid .
2007-02-03 09:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by jenny in ohio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its you. Since married a man with children, you get to play the role of step mother. Perhaps she is busy or she wants to see if you do in fact play a good mother to her son. Just take the boy to the dentist and just ask nicely "Why did you want me to take him? Is there anything going on?" And leave it at that...
2007-02-03 09:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she actually told you that YOU have to take him? or was she asking you? it is possible that maybe she wanted to know if you were available as she may not have been. but there is no law that says YOU as the stepparent are responsible for taking him. that's her and your husband's responsibility. but you could be a bigger person and just take him.
one other thing someone did bring up....you aren't supposed to really authorize any medical treatment to any child unless you are the parent or legal guardian. so if she wants you to take him, she needs to sign a waiver that allows you make medical decisions on his behalf. this will come in handy just in case of an emergency.
2007-02-03 09:33:47 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no she probably just doesn't want to take him. usually they ask though if you are the parent and you have to sign forms so i would let the hubby do it.
i always hated when the ex called up with advice or what HER daughter does or doesn't do.
if your husband is busy and can't take him, make sure both she and he signs a letter of consent giving you permission to take him to the doctor, dentist, etc. (just to cover your own @ss)
2007-02-03 09:30:55 · answer #7 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't say it's you. And for her to call and TELL YOU, is wrong. My fiance's Ex won't call me to do anything for the boys but her sister has called and ASKED me to help. I love the boys and would do anything for them, health wise. I wasn't sure at the time if I had done something my fiance would be upset over, so I told him as soon as possible before any one else had a chance to. About a week later this same Ex sister-in-law showed up at the house, I had never met her before or seen her so I hadn't a clue as to who she was until she told me. This time my fiance did have something to say about it. He was upset I let her and her daughter in the house
2007-02-03 09:27:19 · answer #8 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the hell? that is beyond crazy! I'd tell good my dog s h i t in the yard and I need you to come over and pick it up. her kids are not your responsibility, unless you decide you want them to be, neither your husband or his ex should expect you to be responsible for their kids! And believe me if you do get involved when something goes wrong, guess who's fault it's going to be.
2007-02-03 09:26:36 · answer #9 · answered by Sir Hard & Thick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just f**ked up. But if she is too lazy or ignorant to take the kids I would. Kids can't help it if the parents are ignorant @ssholes. Someone has to look out for them. They are innocent.
I would bring this to the attention of their dad though also. If she isn't going to provide proper care for the kid, he should seek custody.
2007-02-03 09:44:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋