Tom and me, or Tom and I?

Question

why when we use this phrase we say I instead of me?

Answer 1

Quick grammar lesson. So many people get this wrong because they try to be hyper correct, thinking that "Tom and I" is always right... but it's not.

The difference between I and me is that "I" is a subject pronoun, and "me" is an object pronoun. (All person pronouns have this form--"she" is a subject, "her" is an object, he/him, we/us, etc.)

So if "I" is the subject of the verb, that is, who is doing the action of the verb, then you're good with "I." But if it's the object of the verb, that is, it's receiving the action of the verb, then it should be "me."

Tom and I go to the store with Mom.
-->"I" is the subject of the verb "go". (As is "Tom.")

Mom buys cookies for Tom and me.
--> "Me" is the [indirect] object of the verb "buy."

It's a lot clearer with other subject/object pairs, because people don't try to be so correct that they mess it up. For example:

He and Tom go to the store.
Mom buys cookies for Tom and him.

We go to the store.
Mom buys cookies for us.

In general, a good trick is to take out the "Tom and" and see how the sentence sounds without it, as others have suggested. This usually makes it clear. But the explanation above hopefully clarifies WHY we use one or the other--it's NOT "tradition," or just that "Tom and I" is formal while "me and Tom" is informal, or that one sounds better, or that one is used at the beginning of a sentence and one at the end. They're actually different pronoun forms with distinct uses.

Answer 2

if in the subject portion of the sentence, you would use "I" if Tom were not involved, then use "Tom and I".

"Tom and I will go to the store for you."

If in another part of the sentence, you would use "me", then use "Tom and me".

"Will you go to the store for Tom and me?"

So if you want a way to know, say the sentence without the extra person -- is it an "i" or "me" sentence. Then add the extra person and you will be correct.

Answer 3

If it's at the beginning of the sentence use Tom and I. If it's at the end it's Tom and me. Just think that in the alphabet I comes before M So if it's at the beginning it's I end it's Me

Answer 4

The rule is: take out the "Tom and" and say the sentence. If it sounds OK then you got it right!

Answer 5

You would not say Me went to the store. You say I went to the store. So, it does not change when you add Tom in the sentence. Tom and I went (we went) to the store.

Answer 6

Tom and I is used if you are talking about Tom in the first person, whereas Tom and me is talking about you, not Tom in the second person.
In other words, you would not say me and Tom. Would you?

Answer 7

When we say me and Tom, it is apparently reprehensible grammar, though a common colloquialism. People want us to follow grammatical laws from the past. It is a tradition so to speak.

Answer 8

Depends if you say it is for Tom and me. That is correct.

If you say Tom and I are going to the fair....that is correct.

Break it down....it is for tom...it is for me.....try I. Would you say it is for I? No....does not work.

Now try Me am going to the fair. Does that work? Now I am going to the fair.

Answer 9

Thats a good question...i guess because thats grammer for you. Tom and I is the correct way to say it though.

Answer 10

because Tom and I is grammatically correct while Tom and me isn't