I am friends with this guy whom I like, when we hang out in groups he always brings up his ex randomly..."so and so used to like this" ..." etc. And I could tell he is still angry with her. They broke up over a year ago. Does this mean he still has feelings for her? Should I back Off?
2007-02-03 07:26:55 · 4 answers · asked by Bo B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It sounds like he has feelings still for her. Come right up front and ask him and then tell him you have had enough!!
2007-02-03 07:33:23 · answer #1 · answered by Carol H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have had the same problem as me!.
I was breifly seeing a man who I liked very much who had been divorced twice and has two very unhappy and unsettled sons.. He kept on talking about his second ex wife who had not been a particularly great mother to his children and saying some terrible stuff about her and about the wife before that one. Every few minutes the conversation would be about his ex wife or his troubled sons..........I did not hang around after the third date!
It is clear that men who do this have lots of unresolved issues to get through before they are ready to let go of the past and move on. It is also a sign that they are the ones with the issue and they are just using their own anger or frustration to talk negatively of their ex partners.
No, it doesn't mean that he still has feelings for her exactley but has not greived the loss of her adequatley and is resentful for the fact she was smart enough to leave him or end the relationship. His bitterness towards her is about him more than her and he is just projecting his own negativity and unhappiness onto her. But whether he feels anything for her or not is not the point - his whole attitude sugessts that he is unwilling to forgive and forget .
I would say that you have had a lucky escape from this man and sounds as if he isn't ready for another relationship. I would try and focus upon guys who don't have too many issues going on and someone is going to love you and want to be with you for the right rather than the wrong reasons.
Men have this need to feel victorious in a defeat of any kind even if they lose a battle or relationship. I would say that yes, he is still angry about the way it ended and for not having enough autonomy over the situation iteslf. But, this isn't good for any woman he meets and glad that you are smart enough to see his angst and to walk away when you can. It sounds as if he would have given you a hard and unpleasant time.
Cut your losses and let him complain to other people about her but don't let yourself be drawn into what is only going to make you feel down and miserable.
I wish you luck and hey, there are plenty of better fish in this sea!
2007-02-03 17:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by Shikira-trudi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he lacks "a life".If he is still stuck on what she did or didn't do, he hasn't moved on. Maybe he doesn't realize it. I think you should come right out and say to him, "do you think about your ex on a daily basis?" "what a bummer that must be". He will deny that he does but he will think about it later too.
2007-02-03 15:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by dreamgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yup he has feelings for her.
He might get over it though, give it a few more months and see if he stops.
If he doesn't and it really bothers you maybe you could ask him if he could stop bringing her up.
2007-02-03 15:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋