Long story short my Husband of 13 Years fell in love with an old flame,I paid for a Holiday for us,but now he will be taking her, we would have been going with his friends not reallly mine,he wants to bring the kids with him,she can't have kids,I'm scared they won't be able to cope with my youngest as he's difficult to handle, if you don't know how to play him and my ex dosen't really have a good relationship with him ,also I have never thought much off her,do you think I should let him go or risk him thinking I'm horrid for deniying him his Holiday,I'm not bitter or twisted just really concernd about how the kids will handle all this ,has anyone been in a similar situation and it worked out ok.
Do you think I should let them go ?
They have only been together a few Months and my kids haven't met her yet.
2007-02-03 07:11:00 · 12 answers · asked by live life 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am stunned at your stoicism and I can only admire your dignity in this situation. It sounds like you could probably do with a break from the kids so that you can go and discover yourself again and begin to 'live life' as your name suggests. It also sounds like they will put a bit of a damper on this new relationship so, yes, at the risk of sounding like I am advocating 'using' your kids, I would do it! Don't worry, kids are resilient and even if they hate her they have each other and they will have a good time regardless.
I would treat this opportunity as manna from heaven in the revenge stakes - don't let it pass you by!
2007-02-03 07:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are so rational and so strong- an inspiration really. I couldn't be so calm. That said- I don't think that the kids should go on the holiday if they have never met this woman before. Holidays with children can be stressful and whose to know how she will react. If the children don't warmto her or are miserable they won't be able to come to you- their Mum for the extra support and comfort that they will need. They could feel very isolated and hurt. Let your ex and his new girlfriend see the children gradually for increasing lengths of time to let them build up a rapport with the children- but don't let them emotionally blackmail you into letting them take the kids on holiday- by suggesting that you are trying to stop the kids having fun!
2007-02-03 19:32:17 · answer #2 · answered by gsladenyc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if the kids havent met her yet not a good idea cause to go on a trip and then try to interduse her could be devastating to your kids and lets face it if the kids are sad they want mom so i sugest you make your ex bring her to the kids first see how things go talk to the kids see what they think and if they like her then let them go but not until they get a choice first
2007-02-03 15:17:19 · answer #3 · answered by ibebarbie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely do not involve your children in this situation, If a man is loved up he is going to be useless with kids to say the least and remember they are not her responsibility - they are your responsibility. If any accident should happen, especially if they are going abroad then you would be branded as the uncaring mother who let her children go off with a stranger.
2007-02-03 15:26:44 · answer #4 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, let the kids go and drive the "old flame" nuts! My friend let her wild kids go, and her husband came running back to her. He didn't realize how lucky he was, and how much his wife really did for his family. She ofcourse didn't take the man back...
2007-02-03 15:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by Lila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If we are talking kids over 11... i think you should let them go... or they could resent you for not letting them... for younger children... you need to follow your heart... you love your children more than anyone else in the world and only YOU know whats right for them... if your ex is going to be with this woman, you need to make sure your children meet her first... but only you know the answer to this question...
dont think that youll be judged... follow your heart and good luck
:-)
2007-02-03 15:17:34 · answer #6 · answered by Lily Allen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, let them go with your husbands mistress , no way. Go to a good Divorce Attorney and get rid of both of them. Boy, he has his nerve asking you to let your children be involved in sex relationship with his mistress. He will be sleeping with her where Mommy is suppose to be , their little minds would be so mixed up, send him packing and get that divorce and take him to the cleaners.
2007-02-03 15:26:08 · answer #7 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should let him go....maybe the relationship with get better and if not well your kids will tell you and then the next time this comes up you'll know what to say....or the kids will tell you what to say....but you have too let him go unless he doesn't want too
2007-02-03 15:27:18 · answer #8 · answered by Bob 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be in all your best interests to find out more about her. I wouldn't let someone I didn't know very well taking my kids on holiday.
2007-02-03 15:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by kylie_rm13 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow, you sure are more understanding than most women who have been dumped. "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" sure doesn't apply to you. There is no way I'd let my ex have the kids under the circumstances...unless, of course, your kids are hell on earth and you want to ruin their holiday...ha ha.
2007-02-03 15:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by dreamgirl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋