my husband and i have had a turbulent marriage now i cringe when he touches me?

Question

i feel bad about this because he obviously notices but i really cant help it things he used to do do turn me on now repell me. i wish i didnt feel like this but i do, will i ever get passed it you think. hes never cheated on me but we have had a lot of other issues to deal with and sometimes he acts more immature than my kids do. its frustrating i have told him all this things improve a little at a time but now i just dont want him to touch me i used to have a bigger appetite in the bedroom than him now i have almost none

Answer 1

family counserling or it will not get better.
he will soon resent your response to him and that will just add more junk to your trash building up now. hear me.

Answer 2

I think a lot of marriages come to this point. It wasn't nurtured somewhere along the way and he showed you sides of himself he should have kept under wraps. I believe we all have ucky things about ourselves...but if you love someone you cant do things to turn them off! Why do people do this? For instance, just because you're married to someone for years doesnt give you the right to pass gas or belch loudly in front of them and not EXPECT it to be a huge turn off! Some are more tolerant than others of such things but geez. I think you have to weigh whether or not you want to be with him from now on. Look at him and make an inventory of good/bad, and if you find you really want the marriage then maybe seek counseling to try and save it. Possibly you now need hormones or something to help you regain your appetite. Women do lose it sometimes...yet, I see your husband may not have helped this with his immature behavior.

Good luck

Answer 3

I was in that same situation. My husband and I had gone through so much that I hated his touch and it was no better to me than getting felt up by a stranger on the bus. The thought of being intimate with him made me queasy. But, love is a choice. I did not want my marriage to fail. The things that have happened cannot be undone. All you can do is more forward. With a lot of effort, my husband and I are doing wonderfully. Don't let people tell you to give up. If you always run away when the going gets tough, you will wind up with so much baggage you will never be able to be happy.

Answer 4

Well since you are so superior to him and his immature ways, of course he shouldn't be touching you, his wife.
My god, what the h e l l is he thinking? He has stuck with you through all these "issues" like kids and your declining sexual appetite and your (I'm sure) numerous lectures on the topic and you voicing the fact that what he does repels you. Geezus the nerve of some guys, huh? Wanting sex from their wives. What next?

Now get out there and find the real prince you deserve - you know, the rich good looking one who will put up with all of your sh*t and *never* ask for sex but give you lots of platinum cards. Go find *that* guy. It's the "mature" thing to do.

Answer 5

Its sounds to me that all the baggage you have accumulated throughout your marriage has obviously taken its toll. Do you love this guy? You cannot go on in a marriage if you are not happy. Maybe you should seek counseling. Its it the physical part that turns you off or is it all the hurt he has caused you in the past. You need to look inside yourself and see what it is you really want. Don't live in an unhappy marriage. Its not fair to you or him. If you can't get those old feelings back you need to move on.

Answer 6

He notices but is turning a blind eye. Everybody gets older and their sex life should go with how they change and mature as people, so you are no longer young lovers who do it in the kitchen etc etc but now are mature parents, the trouble is this affects the mother more than the father, men still see themselves as the young stud and don't seem to be able to move on, that's why some have affairs. I can't answer your question but perhaps you need counselling about how to overcome this.

Answer 7

Love is a choice!
Consider counseling to open the lines of communication. You cannot fix what you dont know is broken. He probably does not know that you have almost given up and he needs a chance to correct his behavior before you do give up. You also need to look deep inside and be responsible for why you have allowed yourself the choice not to love him. You may find your answer there.

Col 3:18-19 - Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Answer 8

Deal/Resolve whatever it is, that is troubling u or let go. focus on the good things about ur husband. some things don't just go away you have to work on it, sex is one of the those things I think for a woman and men too, the longer you go without sex it gets easier until its not even an issue so if you want to change you have to work at it.

Answer 9

Sounds like you are just bored with him. You need to put some space between you for awhile. That doesn't mean moving out...just some space. Maybe he could keep the kids for a weekend so you could go somewhere with a girlfriend or relative.

Answer 10

Don't live in a loveless marriage , he has done something to you real bad to cause these feeling you are having. You only have one life to live , live it with someone you want and need in bedroom are just to be together. You need sweet love great love , go after it while your still young.

Answer 11

is not more love...And trust me when that feelings like the ones you have now are there is nothing you can do to passed...I been in the same situation and I just tell the guy goodbye...He can't understand why I was doing it saying bye, and never tell him why...You can't never tell that to a male is their ego you will be hurting so I lie why I don't want him anymore...Sometimes I believ you wish you can change that but you just can't...Is there the feeling is there and hurts you...