Four months ago I had a one night stand with a guy but we ended up keeping in touch. We were hitting it off and decided to visit (we live far apart). When we got together he confessed that he has been in a relationship since his divorce a few years ago with a women he sees only occasionally and that the relationship is dead end and that he wanted to see me too. I said "no way" but then one thing led to another. We had a great time together and he is calling me once or twice every day and we plan to see each other again within a month but he hasn't said he is breaking up with the other woman. Am I a fool. Was she just a rebound after his divorce and he will break up with her in time? I am worried that she keeps clothes at his place but I know people who know hiim and they don't know her, they thought he was totally unattached since the divorce. He is showing real interest in me and I really want a relationship with him and am trying to hang in and play it out. Am I crazy?
2007-02-03 07:06:41 · 14 answers · asked by LDR02 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He hasn't seen her since he and I were together. He would have to break up in person so I am hoping it will happen on the next visit with her? Or soon after that?
2007-02-03 07:25:34 · update #1
No.. As long as he keeps u happy..
2007-02-03 07:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by BigWashSr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I don't know. Obviously, he didn't have to tell you about "the other woman", yet he did. This tells me that perhaps he wants to be honest from the start - which, in turn, may mean that he is interested in you in more of a serious way. I would guess that if he was just in for no-strings-attached fun, he would not have told you about his relationship situation. Sounds to me like his other relationship might be a rebound, or perhaps a relationship of convenience. He's playing on both fronts right now - he doesn't want to lose what he already has, just in case things with you don't work out. Who knows how long this situation continues this way. The fact that you live far away from each other makes it more difficult. Are there plans to move closer together if things between you two go well? If not - you might want to ask yourlself what would be the point of this relationship (another woman non-withstanding). Be careful with it, figure out how long you're willing to tolerate the situation as it is, and be ready to cut the ties if things don't clear up within a reasonable length of time. Don't get stuck in this ambiguous situation for long. Good luck.
2007-02-03 15:18:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First question, did he get divorced because of "his" extracurricular activities with other women? If the answer is yes, then get the hell away. If the answer is no then there could be something there.
She sounds like she might be a rebound girl, but to be on the safe side, keep your options open. There's no need to attach yourself to someone right away. If he makes you happy, then hang in there, but make sure there is no one else in the picture. Good luck.
2007-02-03 15:17:04 · answer #3 · answered by zumi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if things r so great with u why is he bothering with this woman? remember your the other woman in this picture, doesnt matter how many times a week he sees her, he sees her. do u leave things at his house? prob not because u r his dirty little secret. sorry but you should get out now b4 you get too involved. otherwise give him a choice u or her tell him u have more respect 4 yourself . leave a few items at his place see how he reacts, you ll know ur answer then.
2007-02-03 15:13:53 · answer #4 · answered by alroka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's an honest guy. He should date a few women before getting in another monogamous relationship! Hang in and play it out!
2007-02-03 15:11:29 · answer #5 · answered by Savvy Sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not crazy, but you are being used. Read "The Rules" and set some boundaries for your relationships. You deserve to be cherished - not just used for convenience. If you allow this to continue, it shows your lack of self-esteem. You deserve better.
2007-02-03 15:12:10 · answer #6 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he wants to be with you he needs to dumped the other girl before you guys get any closer, if he is serious about being with you he would break it off and you guys can move on and then too he might just be playing around and dont want anything serious right now but i would definitely find out before i get to attached whateva you do dont let him play you
2007-02-03 15:15:13 · answer #7 · answered by pebbles 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you want him to yourself stop having sex with him and just be friends w/o benefits. If and when he breaks up or stop seeing this other person then you can make the choice to go further but until then, to protect yourself you should pull back and if he's really interested in you he'll do what it takes to be with u.
2007-02-03 15:17:39 · answer #8 · answered by Forever_Young 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your planning on marrying him or having a steady relationship , forget it. If he didn't care for her , he wouldn't still be seeing her and her having clothes at his home would be enough for me to say so long it's been nice.
2007-02-03 15:14:06 · answer #9 · answered by Nicki 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't move forward until he totally ends it with the other women!
2007-02-03 15:15:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋