My neighbor has a pre teen son. She had been in the relationship with her sons father for quite some time. He began using drugs and disappearing for days at a time. Eventually she broke up with him and he ended up getting married a week after they broke up. She tried having her son visit his father but he would "forget" about there son and wouldnt hear from him for months. His new wife would tell my neighbors ex that her kids come first before his son and he should just deal with it. She saw that it bothered her son that he wasnt seeing his dad. It has now been 4 years and he hasnt seen his father. He is now 9 years old and she wants her son to see his father but she is afraid. She knows that her son thinks about him often but if she allows him to see his father again what if the father is still using drugs (heroine). What if the wife will treat her son like crap? Everyone keeps telling her to not allow him to visit hims dad but it is hurting her son. Can you help her?
2007-02-03 06:55:50 · 7 answers · asked by rybo510 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i had rather my son not see him because of the influence he may have on him growing up/her son may blame her when he gets older but for me i would rather take the blame than put him in that situation his dad cant be a good influence on him now because of the drugs and his son's wife sounds as though she is totally wrapped up her own family it is obvious him forgetting to come and get his son that his priorities are not in the proper place
2007-02-03 07:29:31 · answer #1 · answered by loveChrist 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well hopefully that his father has matured and grown out of drug use. And maybe the new wife should be able to accept by now that her husband has a child. Does the boy REALLY want to see a father of this kind? If I was your neighbor I wouldn't let my son go see his drug-addict dad who won't even acknowledge his own child and who gets married prematurely and sees his step-children first before his own son. I think it would be better for the kid to grow up a bit more maybe until he's 18 or an adult. Then the mother wouldn't have to worry as much.
2007-02-03 15:03:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Basically, it's up to the father at this point. From what I'm hearing, the man doesn't want to have anything to do with his son so whether or not this woman wants her son to have anything to do with his father, it doesn't sound like it's really up to her. I'd talk to someone about having the man's parent rights removed (because he's an absent parent and he doesn't seem to care one way or another.) If he does turn them over, then it's possible that no, he doesn't and never did care about his own son.
The father's wife shouldn't have an opinion in the matter one way or another and she sounds like a horirble person.
The son also needs to realize that even though he may want to see his father, putting him in an environment around his father's family doesn't sound healthy at all. The son should have a therapist to talk to, seperation and abandonment issues may be present later on in life and should be delt with now (and possibly paid for by his father.)
2007-02-03 15:02:41 · answer #3 · answered by Athena 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's a bad situation that thousands of kids are going through. Remind your neighbor that lots of kids still turn out to be great adults. They will be better off to deal with the hurt than have him dealing with his father's drug addiction and bitchy stepmom. She can only be totally open and honest with her son now about his dad. Reminding him often that his dad loves him, that he is a good boy and has done nothing wrong. That this is something his dad needs help with and something she can do nothing about. That they will get through it together.
2007-02-03 15:25:23 · answer #4 · answered by beebee 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well if shes worried about her sons well being i would say she should be able to get some kind of liason or person to be with her son while he does visits with his father if she is worried about her sons health/wellbeing
2007-02-03 15:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
The kid is much better off without his sperm donor in his life. To send him would be child abuse!
2007-02-03 15:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
IT REALLY IS NO CONCERN OF YOURS, PERSONALLY. the BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS CALL THE POLICE AND LET THEM WORK IT OUT. THE MOST DANGEROUS CALL A POLICEMAN CAN GET IS FOR DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE. if THE POLICE CANNOT OR WILL NOT HELP, CALL FAMILY SOCIAL SERVICES AND REPORT WHAT IS GOING ON. if YOU CANNOT FIND ONE, CALL THE NEAREST FAMILY OR FEMALE RESCUE SERVICE FOR BATTERED WIVES AND CHILDREN. but KEEP YOU NOSE OUT OF IT, OR ELSE YOU WILL BE THE UNWANTED INTERLOPER.
2007-02-03 15:01:55 · answer #7 · answered by The Cythian 3 · 0⤊ 5⤋