Well, I'm a female in the 10th grade and suffering some serious jealousy towards the popular, pretty girls. I guess I'm somewhat pretty myself, but stand me next to one of the popular girls and it all goes out the window. I'm starting semester 2 on Monday, which means 4 fresh new classes, with 4, fresh, new groups of people. With any luck, I won't have too many pretty girls in my classes, but I probably will. I know jealousy is NOT good, it just sucks the joy out of your own life. So I have 2 questions:
1. How can I get over my jealousy?
2. How can I stop my "self-esteem" mood swings. One minute I feel gorgeous and the next, I feel ugly as hell.
2007-02-03 06:50:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Part of this has to do with hormones and unfortunately this is somewhat unavoidable. It's just part of being a teen.
In order to make it better you have to first figure out why it's so bad. Other than when you are looking at pretty girls, what things trigger jealous reactions? Keep a diary and closely monitor your self esteem. Analyze what events make you feel a certain way. After you figure out when you feel the best and when you feel the worse you will get a more clear picture of what's going on. After that focus on what makes you feel better.
2007-02-03 06:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. I suggest you do an inventory of the things you have in your life that make you feel good, and a list of the things that make you feel insecure.
Being a grade 10 teenager has its own challenges. I remember when I was your age. I had insecurities of my own but now, at age 40, i am a self confident woman. I worked hard to get to where I am today.
The weird thing is, I am no longer slim and trim, nor as good looking as I was but I feel like a million dollar inside of me. I think, this is what really matters. Our inner feelings. I would not go back in the past, no way.
I have faith that you will conquer your insecurities because you already are questionning yourself and acknowledged you need to do something about it. There is a time for every thing...a time to laugh and a time to cry, a time for insecurity and a time for self confidence. It is a normal part of the human development.
Surround yourself with people and things that make you feel good.Have an open mind and never say no to opportunities that can help you grow into a better person. People that look happy and to have it all, may only have the
Everybody in life get their fare share of karma....never under estimate yourself. Also, everybody has some insecurities at any ages, but when you develop a good set of techniques to cope with the insecurities, it becomes easier to deal with it, even at 40 y old.
Revenge will only make you feel worst about yourself. Find a mentor/role model a person that could be a good role model for you. Focus on the POSITIVE and you will feel good. Good luck!
2007-02-03 07:18:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can tell you is this, I went to my 30th year class reunion last year and most of the "girls" who were beautiful in HS were not so beautiful (many of them had spent too much time in the sun and had many wrinkles). And no, I'm not butt ugly; I was average looking then and still am, but was very popular then and still am.
Looks change (aging, plastic surgery, etc.). What matters more is your heart & soul.
Take an index card and write all the good things about yourself. Post this card on your bathroom mirror. On your bad days, remind yourself of your good qualities.
Ask yourself, "what's my definition of popular"? Is it someone with a lot of friends? Is it someone who gets asked out a lot?
The fact you can recognize and admit these things to yourself tells me you are smart.
Don't let girls in school, or models, or Glamour, or TV actresses define for YOU what popular or pretty is. What are your goals? What's on your list of 20 things you want to do before you're 30? Set some goals and make a plan to achieve them. Then you will see just how fantastic you are!
2007-02-03 06:59:45 · answer #3 · answered by poetcomic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chances are, half of the popular girls will be pregnant and married right after high school graduation and the prom queen will become a meth freak and have 3 mutated kids by the time YOU graduate from college. That about sums up the lives of the popular girls from my high school hell.
Speaking of college, if you want to do well you will need to ditch your insecurities at the door. College classes take 100% focus on the subject. You can not be distracted into being annoyed by a Becky who has glamor hair and paints her nails during lectures.
Your mood swings are caused by your sporadic eating habits, skipping meals, loading up on breads, soft drinks.
Eat better and you will look and feel better.
2007-02-03 07:34:44 · answer #4 · answered by murkglider 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think u should stop thinking about other girls qualities and think about your own. Trust me.. u have them.. everyone is special in so many ways.. let the world know you.. not someone who is trying to be as the popular girls. Your friends may help you. Beauty is in your mind not outside of it. You are loosing so much energy studying others, energy that could be used to improve yourself.
Someone who knows to laugh at himself is considered to be a happy person.. and happy people are always more pretty, didn't you notice?
My advice.. as i said.. be your self.. no matter what they say.
2007-02-03 07:08:57 · answer #5 · answered by any_angel 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
haha! dear child, u need to realise that by the time you are in uni, half those people wont even be noticed. ya, people are popular at school, but generally it doesnt last. how many stars have u heard saying they must have been the ugliest kids on earth or tht people made fun of them, but now look at were they are and those people who were popular back then havent even been heard of. dont worry yourself, it will all pass. just remember that situations change and you know it yourself you arent bad looking. work with what you have. trust me, i used to feel the same way...
2007-02-03 07:08:11 · answer #6 · answered by firefly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For one everyone has jealousy, and you cant get rid of it, its always gonna be there, but you have to think about one thing, just because there pretty doesn't mean there better than you, think about all the quality's that you have and they don't..
2007-02-03 06:56:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
being jealous will set your standards high but dont hurt any one and dont be harsh on your self.ps:it is nice to be pretty but still think that u could do better it is much nicer than being ugly and thinking u r gorgeous.
2007-02-03 07:08:08 · answer #8 · answered by imma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how do you get over your jealousy
embarrass them, put them in there place
you dont have to be drop dead gorgeous to be on top of someone
just make them look stupid
i Garnette your self esteem will skyrocket
2007-02-03 06:58:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
the answer to both of ur questions is stop thinking of them as competiton and you wont feel that way anymore
2007-02-03 07:00:09 · answer #10 · answered by j bone 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋