Have you been married to someone that was emotionally/verbally abusive?

Question

What kinds of things did they do and say to you? How did they make you feel? What did you finally do about it?

Answer 1

Yes. He cursed at me, call me names like fat, ugly, stupid, told me I was an embarrassment to him, that I couldn't do anything right, he threw things all the time, and my kids and I lived in fear of setting him off. Before I met him, I was a pretty confident person, but I was just coming out of a long term relationship and I wasn't very happy. Abusers usually know to get you then since your guard is down. By the time I finally left, my self esteem was in the toilet and it took a while to recover. Now I'm back on track with a great guy who loves and supports me, is wonderful with my kids, I'm back in school to get my degree, and I have a good job. He, on the other hand, is still as miserable as ever. Sometimes the best revenge is living well!

Answer 2

Yes when I was eighteen and in the Army. After we were married about three months the verbal abuse started as well as the emotional abuse. He would say mean and hurtful things. When I was sixteen I was driving my sister to a friends house and I wrecked and she died. So I was really scared of driving fast. So he would get on the autobahm and drive fast and say Is this how you were driving when you killed your sister? That was one among many. After several months the physical abuse started. It started out slow with a push or a shove then he worked his way up to more hurtful abuse.

What I have learned is that it doesn't stop at the emotional and verbal abuse. That's only the beginning. The abuser is checking to see how much you will take, what your pushing point is and then he pushes past it. If you are in a relationship with someone who is abusive you need to get some counseling. If he won't go then you need to go. And if you don't feel safe in the relationship you need to leave immediately. You need to take care of yourself.

What did I do? I left before he got the chance to kill me. It's been years since and I am doing great and have a really great guy who treats me really well.

Answer 3

Yes I was hit -chocked- he threw things- always cussing each day came-trying his best to crush my spirit- and came and left like i was a truck stop I watched other women feel of him right in front of me when we were married-he was flirting back. He also lied and thought he was just wonderful. He let his mother talk to me any way she choose even when i tried to help her. I always came in last. I got a divorce and for his own good he needs to stay away. Me i was stupid to ever have loved him and to have kept on hoping for the best. I am mostly angry at my self for spending all that time hoping for a change. Men and I will get along fine as long as they do not yell-cuss or order me around like i am nothing. I have changed and i am tempted to care for one other then a friend but i can not right now. First husband was abusive as well when some of his friends got involved in our relationship and he had a long standing affair. I begged him not to then i changed. So if these(not all men)think we are playing games they are wrong they are being tested out. I like my dogs better then those bad boys because they are more faithful! Some women who mess around and think they can have any man they want taken or not or just as low life.

Answer 4

He called me every name in the book, never did anything right, told me you may look good now, but when you get old you'll be the ugliest woman in the world. I wish I had never seen you, name it he called me. Then the beatings started put me the hospital twice, one major surgery pulled my collar bone away from shoulder bone. Kept my eyes black 10 % of the time, pulled my hair out and told me if I ever call the police he would kill me and my family. Put me in so much stress that my hair started falling out, If I ever hit him back he would blow my head off and kids with his 45 thumb buster. I worked sometimes 7 days a week at my job and trying to go to college. Finally God answered my prayers , he found another woman a RN, told me he didn't love me anymore, I was happiest woman in the world when my divorce was granted. His wife he wanted took the same treatment the RN ,couldn't go to work for 2 weeks because she didn't buy his chocolate cookies , he told my aunt that every time he looked at her she started crying afraid of another beating. He died young all alone by himself, did I cry, Hell No

Answer 5

I was in a verbally abusive marriage. It was horrible. He would curse at me and called me ugly and fat. He would tell me I needed to put on makeup. He would order me around and tell me that "his woman has to be hot and sexy all the time" (this was said to me as we were leaving church!). Unfortunately, he was mentally ill and had bipolar disorder. I ended the marriage because I started "fighting back" and became abusive towards him. We eventually forgave each other and were able to move on with our lives without hating each other. I didn't believe in divorce because of religious reasons, but I know that abuse is wrong so I got a divorce. My advice to you is, GET OUT OF THE MARRIAGE. Please take care of yourself.

Answer 6

Yes, I have.
I have been abused from my brother sexually and physical and by my ex.
I lost my self esteem I have been deprived my childhood.
I hated my self.
I didnot know who I was anymore.
I recall a time when he had a bowel movement in his hand and smeared it in my face, My brother that is.
and then he would laugh.

The hurt never goes away.
I tried to buried it but it resurfaces I have done things I am not proud of.
But I am learning to be a better being.

I am worth it.
I got out.

Answer 7

He would bring up things that had happened 10 years before or he would say my dad didn't love me or that I was dumb because I have a degree I have never been able to use. I divorced him, but there were many other reasons also.

Answer 8

yes, and I divorced the asshole over 12 yrs ago, so much happier.

Answer 9

i am in it now, god forbid my husband reads this, i have left many times but have kids..my stupid email even has to be me and him if you notice...get out........NEVER GO BACK......