What if i'm a lesbian yet, i'm sorta homophobic....so confused!!?

Question

um 17

ok, i admit it, i'm homophobic...lesbians just freak me out, i dunno why, yea, call me a horrible person but i just can't help it! i won't hurt them in any way i just try to avoid them and get sorta freaked out.

so anyway, recently i've started to check girls out....this is scaring me! do you think i'm a lesbian but what if i was....how is this possible considering my mind seems to be so against....grr i'm so confused

i've always lovvved guys but recently i've started to go off them...

repost...i need answers!!

Answer 1

Seventeen can be a confusing time in life. Hormones wreak havoc on the female system. For some reason, boys seem to be losing interest for your sexual desire and the pendulum MAY have swung the other way? This could be just a curiosity, but it is my suggestion that you need to cool off and regroup, perhaps leave off any sexual contact for alittle while. I am unable to tell from just this short letter if you are a lesbian, I kinda doubt it, but the possibility could be there. Do not fret, relax, fighting certain urges will only get more frustrating. Learn your own body first, do you masturbate/self pleasure? Are perhaps the guys you are with lacking in sexual ability? Do you need to teach them what pleasures you? Don't be afraid to find someone who will do this with you, sex is not a one way street. I am a lesbian, or perhaps bi since I do not find men totally revolting like my partner does, but I can tell you women usually know theirs and each others bodies pretty well. Perhaps this is what you are really craving. Find someone to meet these needs, this sharing, and be it man or woman, relax and let it be. True love knows no gender.

Answer 2

Don't be so freaked out it, try it before you freak out about. I was once like you, a HUGE homophobic, but then, I realized the only reason I was a homophobic was because I was totally into females. It's not so bad, it takes a lot of getting use to, but really, once your comfortable, it's just like any other relationship! You will be alright, but I think you should just talk to other females that are attracted to the same sex.
Good luck babe!
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Answer 3

I can totally relate to your feelings. I was a little homophobic before I finally came to terms with myself. It is from my experience that everyones greatest fears are generated from something they see in themselves. Several years ago, I could have been described as quite homophobic, because quite truthfully, the who image of sex just plain freaked me out. Through grade school and middle school, I always found myself making up stories of girl friends in other towns or other states, as I wanted to be like all my other male friends, but I just was never 'truly' attracted to the opposite sex. It wasn't until some time into high school that I finally began realizing how confused I truly was, and it was at that time that I began to journey into a world of self understanding. When I finally put things together, all the parts and pieces of my life began to fall together and make sense.
Love is love, regardless of who you are, or who you love, follow your heart, as it knows best.

Answer 4

It sounds like you're probably bi. I'm guessing that your fear of lesbians have something to do with your own repressed gay desires. Focus on one of the two issues at any one moment and try to get to the bottom of those emotions. Figure out why you have them and go from there. It's not always an easy task, but the peace of mind is worth the struggle.

Answer 5

I want to be straight forward with you. Homosexuality is constructed. Often innoscently by many children. Children forget the experiances they had as small children. They still construct themselves from those experiances.
First understand homosexualality is constructed, just like hetrosexuality is constructed.
The Formula For Constructing A Homosexual
This formula can be illustrated in this way: A Predisposition
Toward Homosexuality Plus That First Homosexual Experience
Multiplied By Pleasurable and Positive Homosexual Thoughts
To Which Is Added More Homosexual Experiences Multiplied By More Pleasurable Thoughts Constructs A Homosexual.

The Formula For constructing A Hetrosexual
This formula can be illustrated in this way: A Predisposition
Toward hetrosexuality Plus That First Hetrosexual Experience
Multiplied By Pleasurable and Positive Hetrosexual Thoughts
To Which Is Added More Hetrosexual Experiences Multiplied By
More Pleasurable Thoughts Constructs A Hetrosexual
Once you see that this is how it happened and really understand it, it becomes your choice to work with it. I was 40 before i understood this. I was homosexual scince i could remember. Then I prayed and the memmory of when i first experianced homosexuality came to me, and I could understand how it was constructed.
It would be hard to understand this if you can not remember your first experiance, but you could still understand this.
A coulpe of good sights for you to read if you want help overcoming the homosexuality in you. First I want to say, it could take years or it could take less time, everyone is different. Check out the sights below, they may help.
http://www.ilovejesus.com/befree/pnartic...
http://www.ccel.org/contrib/exec_outline...
I would like to say the christian prospective does not talk about gender nonconformity. It can be a predisposition to homosexuality. Not all children that had a gender nonconformity will construct homosexuality. so it is not the leading or only predisposition to homosexuality. Expermenting, being drawn into expermenting all usually are the predisposition, even name calling can be part of the predispositioning to constructing homosexuality. Not all children that construct homosexuality have gender nonconformity.
As i say it is often innoscently constructed, then as an adult we learn it was not the plan of God. God we know planned us to construct hetrosexuality, but our choices may lead us in another direction for God to use in our plan That he has for us. Everything is the power of god.
Let me leave you with this in mind:
"AND SUCH WERE SOME OF YOU. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God." (1 Co 6:11)
Learning to seek God, and walking by the Spirit of God is what I am doing now, and there is no shame, just learning.

Answer 6

The homophobia you possess was probably ingrained into you when you were growing up....either by your parents or the church.

You were born the way you are. Nobody can choose what's attractive to them. You either are attracted to something, or you aren't. You can't force yourself to be attracted to anything. Doesn't work.

The reason lesbians 'freak you out' is because you've been conditioned to be freaked out by them....and now, realizing that you're attracted to other girls, it goes against what you've been conditioned to.

We all go through pretty much the same thing when we finally realize that we aren't "normal" in our sexual attractions (whatever "normal" means).

You'll be OK.

Let nature take its course....talk to others.....don't be afraid.
You aren't alone!

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Answer 7

To be perfectly honest I have my moments when I'm somewhat homophobic. I mean I'm gay and stuff but I don't really like really feminine guys usually. If they are way over the top with it then I'm not down with that.

I think you might be bi. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Just get with some girl and have some fun. ^_~

Answer 8

I doubt you're homophobic. You don't seem to have a problem with bisexuals or gay guys so, I think you're just scared because you know subconsciously that you have an interest in people of the same sex.

Answer 9

Maybe you're bi-sexual.

People are often afraid of things within themselves that they don't understand. Maybe you being freaked out with lesbians has to do with your uncertainty within yourself. And these women are embodying what you're afraid of being.

This is only one of many possible answers.

Answer 10

i think that the whole situation is freaking you out but i don't think you're homophobic, you're just very confused. give it time and things will sort themselves out.