Confrontation at work is about to happen, every time feedback is given, this person becomes very argumentative and looking for an excuse for everything. I believe he doesn't understand the team concept and rather looks out for himself.
2007-02-03 06:26:30 · 15 answers · asked by phoozball 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Here's some other information, he is my supervisor but as I'm in charge of other areas that he plays a part in, I have to give him the feedback and he has never taken feedback, not even from his own boss....he erupted at my boss's boss the other day.
2007-02-03 06:35:12 · update #1
yet even more details. I am the backup supervisor, the backup lead. I am expected to have this conversation with him. Others are also planning to have a conversation with him. This is a company where that although you may have the title, you are expected to receive feedback just like everyone else.
2007-02-03 06:54:45 · update #2
If the team as a whole agrees with your assessment, you can enlist their help when talking to him. If he senses he's clearly in the minority, he may be a little more willing to calm down and cooperate.
While it may be very tiring to sit through, you may also want to let him exhaust himself on each of his points. Let him have his say, and go to respond. If he starts in again, interrupt him and remind him that he was given the opportunity to speak and now you have something to say.
I work with a person who has a very difficult time simply listening to what I'm trying to explain to them, even when it's in direct response to a question they've asked me. I concede, I have no patience for that, and I finally started interrupting them when they interrupted me. It can be a little awkward at times, but I try to handle it with a smile and a positive tone, and say something like, "just hear me out for a moment" or "just let me finish." I also try to make sure this person knows I have their best interest at heart. I think our communication has improved as a result.
PS - If he can't accept feedback from his own superiors, you may not have to contend with him for very long anyway. However, if you know this to be true, you could propose a change to the reporting structure / chain of command, and provide feedback to his superiors instead.
2007-02-03 06:40:48 · answer #1 · answered by nyboxers73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all, I'm insatiably curious and this is one of the few places I can find people who are willing to put up with it. The arguments are just something I do my best to cope with in order to participate. I'm always willing to consider the other person's point of view. Which means I lose nearly every argument in real life because I take far too long with any rebuttal. For me, the upside of the constant repetition of some of the arguments is that I have a chance to think it all through, do some research, learn from others, and then think it all through again. Sometimes it gets to be too much, especially when people put words in my mouth and use those to start arguments or accuse me of doing things I've not done. How do you handle that?
2016-05-23 23:50:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start off with the basics of the coversation. If he begins to get load, then you tell him that some decisions are currently being made in his actions. The final result of his decisions will be based on how the conversation continues to go. If he would like to calm down and discuss the issues in an adult like fashion you would be happy to do that. If not then other measures will have to be taken. Key thing is to avoid making big gestures with your hands and arms. Do not provoke in any manner. Remain calm in your tone and actions. Eye contact is very important. But do not be WIDE eyed. If possible sit on the table or on the back of a chair to put yourself at a slightly higher altitude then this person. If he calms down then sit. If he becomes more reactive then stand and step backwards, but not quickly. Move yoruself to a safe distance(more than arms length). Do not cross your arms or your legs. Remain in an open body language position. Then tell him your thoughts. Whenever you want his input in the conversation ask him how he feels or what he thinks. In the end make sure and ask him if he understands the concerns. If no, then ask him if he would like you to recover the previous conversation. If yes, then ask if he understands why he is at fault or if he understands that he did something wrong. Then tell him that you look forward to seeing improvement in his performance and that you are really excited to see him at his full potential. End the conversation on a positive note, unless he refuses to listen or becomes increasingly agitated. Then you may be better off calling security or the local law.
2007-02-03 06:44:30 · answer #3 · answered by swksmason 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calmly sit down and explain the situation to him in no-nonsense terms. Tell him you've been instructed to talk to him. Explain to him what is expected of him, and the consequences of not meeting those expectations. If he gets confrontational, tell him you're only the messenger, but this is the way it is. Remind him he accepted his position with all of the strings attatched. Repeat what those strings are, no excuses. Once you've performed your required evaluation, leave. Let him know he's more than welcome to take up any arguments he may have with the supervisor who instructed you to talk to him.
What a messed up company you work for!
2007-02-03 06:47:58 · answer #4 · answered by Michael E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really cant get proper feedback because he is not thinking rationally when being like that. Someone who makes excuses for everything is so young in the head anyways. If he is not a team player maybe you should tell your boss so he doesn't end up reflecting on you or your team.
2007-02-03 06:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the best way to get a point across in a situation like this is to speak softly, clearly, to the point and walk away. a person always listens more attentively to a soft speaker than to someone ranting, they tune that out and even use it as an excuse not to listen. if the person justifies everything in favor of themselves though, don't expect too much change, their mind seems already closed. good luck
2007-02-03 06:33:06 · answer #6 · answered by shotze01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sarcasm. just believe everything he says, take it to heart and act accordingly. pretend you know nothing and he knows everything. this can be lots of fun. for example, Americas under attack! oh my god!! RUN! Hide in your basement, stock up on food, go out in the woods and build a fortress. The reaction will hopefully show the absurdity of thier position.
2007-02-03 06:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go in the back door... Give them positive feedback to start, then when they are all relaxed hit 'em with the criticism.
2007-02-03 06:30:49 · answer #8 · answered by Yahoo Answer Rat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A screaming match will not help . It is best to talk calm and quiet with a firm voice . This will help anytime !
2007-02-03 06:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by silverearth1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure that person knows that you're just trying to help them instead of criticizing them. Talk to them and maybe you can get your point across.
2007-02-03 06:35:06 · answer #10 · answered by basketballchic015 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋