My husband likes to look at women, flirt with women, look at thier myspace sights, he is secretive on the computer. Wanted me to lift the blocker, ect. He may look at mens sights just so he won't look like hes looking at women. He loves to read dirty stories on the net and saves them to his favorites. He has cheated alot b/f we were married. And I know he has had interest, yet says he hasn't. He makes me feel like I am second rate. These women are better than me. He hugs the bigger breasted women @ church. Our sex life is ok. It use to better. He is selfish in bed, when we do have sex. I have a nice body, small frame. The rest of our marrage is fine. He just doesn't see that I hurt when I see him looking at those women. When he is extra nice to women( I won't say flirting b/c I am around him) He makes them feel so special. Yet I very rairly ever feel special. He will spend hours on the computer, and yell at me and the kids if we even try to talk to him. Has he NO self control?It hurts!
2007-02-03 05:48:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You knew of this behavior and his ways before marriage so why in the hell did you marry this so called ''man''? He obviously likes to cheat and sounds really selfish!. He looks at those women more than you right? Why are you willing to put up with his ****? Him doing this and not caring at all about how it is making you feel is very selfish and low. What an asshole! He is going to keep looking at other women and their pics and you need to leave him because if you don't it's not going to get any better. wake up!
2007-02-03 09:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that. My wife and I are going through something very similar. In our case though, it's her drive that's shot. Rather than overweight, her reasons are medications that affect her badly. Just as an FYI though, condoms are problematic for me too. about half the time I try to use one, it, well, they cause some issues with "standing at attention." It's hard to help someone that won't help themselves, but it doesn't mean you can give up. I found that talking about things, even when it's uncomfortable, does help. Let him know how you feel, and what concerns you. Make it known that you're not accusing him or blaming him, but let him know what you feel you're lacking right now. Tell him how you want things to be, what you're planning on doing to make that happen, but what you need him to do to help you. If that doesn't work, you might look into some marriage counseling. I'm convinced that most marriages could benefit from counseling over the years because we as people are changing constantly, and not always at the same rate or in the same direction. I wish you the best.
2016-05-23 23:36:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and smell the coffee!!! You are married to a pervert with deviant tendencies. Your marriage is not fine if you feel that you are second rate and he treats you like a doormat. His interests are not in you, but some sort of fantasy woman. If he is trying to hide what he is doing and acting suspiciously then most likely he is messing around with someone. At this point I would say you should probably seek the advice of your pastor or marriage counseling, but I would be willing to bet that you would be wasting your time. Someone who has interests such as your husbands are sick individuals and many times eventually cross the line when the fantasy no longer works for them. No amount of counseling or therapy is going to fix this problem. Your priority here should be the well being of you and your children. Go see your pastor, seek counseling if you truly feel that salvaging this relationship is worth it, but be advised, you are married to a very sick man.
2007-02-03 06:01:39 · answer #3 · answered by truckerman96 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion: Yes your husband seems to have serious issues. Not only that, your marriage does too. You mentioned that he has cheated on you before??? To me it seems like you are allowing him to act the way he does. If you and your kids try to talk to him and he yells at you guys....gosh that's just wrong. Not only is he neglecting the woman that he married, but his children as well. Looks like all he cares about is himself. I would suggest that you have a long sit-down talk and see if he's willing to hear what your feelings are. If not you can try marriage/couples counseling if both parties are willing. If he continues to neglect you and your children when you guys pry for his attention.....I don't know, it doesn't seem you should sacrifice your happiness for a man like that.
2007-02-03 06:14:56 · answer #4 · answered by M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself these questions;
Will he respectfully talk about this subject?
Would he care if he knew I felt second?
What have I done to enable his behavior?
Is the relationship important to him? /me?
How could we strengthen our realationship?
Would we be open to professional counseling?
You both must be responsible for the relationships qualities whether they are negative or positive and take ownership of what you each contribute. Your feelings may be boosted by your own insecurities. His computer browsing choices and time management as well as his behavior in public (church) needs ownership and affirmation to be responsible for it. Communication is key and if it is important enough, then you both must do what is necessary to build it up not tear it down. You may have to act like you are interested in the same behavior in order to better understand his motivation. It may also soften your insecurities if he is willing to open up and share. Be creative not combative in opening the lines of communication and see what happens. Pray! Don't be prideful! Communicate!
2007-02-03 07:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by todd0628 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say the rest of your marriage is fine.It doesnt sound fine at all.It sounds like you are really intimidated by him.You are going to have to stand up to him and tell him how you feel.The longer you let this go on, the more hurt and resentful you will become. Good luck.
2007-02-03 05:58:12 · answer #6 · answered by dynamite136 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
leave him! if hes cheated on you? maybe i missunderstood that.. but he does have some serious issues... i would leave him if i were you. he sounds liek a selfish no good jerk. you can do better. please never stay maried just cause you have kids together! they will see you having problems wiht him and it will effect you as well... my parents divorced when i was 4 and my brother was only 6 mo. old! and we turned out fine! never stay for the kids in a marriage...
2007-02-03 05:56:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He does have issues. You should maybe talk to him about what is going on and how you feel and think that is not fair for you for what he is doing.
2007-02-03 05:53:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he has issues in his thoughts, just in his actions. He sounds like a philandering swine!
2007-02-03 06:18:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he does he needs counseling so will start treating you better. talk to him and tell him how bad you feel.
2007-02-03 06:11:28 · answer #10 · answered by sara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋