Can a married man be close friends with a single lady workmate? Can they go to restaurants & cinema together?

Question

We both like each other and have gone out for a drink together after work. How far can/should this friendship go?

Answer 1

Why does everybody on here carry on like it is 1926? Come on, why?

It is the 21st century and is perfectly acceptable to have friends of the opposite sex and be in a relationship with another woman. Visits to the cinema and restaurants are also permitted, even (dare I say) without, YES WITHOUT your partner!

There is an essential ingredient in any relationship you have, be it with your parents, your friends and even the proprietor of your local Chinese takeaway - it begins with the letter T and is five letters long.Without it, a relationship is null and void.

You have found a friend. Now invite her out for dinner with you and your good lady wife. Just because you are establishing a friendship with a member of the opposite sex does not mean you have to limit what you would do in any friendship you would have with a man.

Answer 2

Hi,
I would say that you're playing with fire here my dear ! You asked how far can/should this friendship go..which tells me that you are both becoming more than just colleagues or friends ! The man is married, and I am pretty sure that his wife does not know about her husbands after work activities which is dangerous !
If you have no feelings for each other, then why not include the wife now and again ? Allow her to get to know the single woman and then if the two of you are seen out together it won't be a problem .
This friendship should remain a friendship, it would be cruel to have an affair , it causes so much pain and heartache for everyone involved . Please think carefully about all this, and maybe put a stop to it before someone gets hurt.
All the best !

Answer 3

Absolutely there can be a congenial interaction ( That's what I call it) between a married man and either a single or married colleague . Gender has nothing to do with it . But , and here is the difference, as long as it does not reach into a phase where you replace your spouse with that company. Movies are OUT, late night dinners OUT. Remember, you are talking job, business, subject that interests you both in your workplace . You are friends, mutual respect and perhaps just a tad of admiration .
You get the drift. You go out after work for drinks ..... beware.You already stepping over the line in my book.
It is only allowed if you are impeccably aware of the consequences if you falter .

Answer 4

I seriously don't think that it should go any farther but really it depends on the type of marriage that it is. He really needs to be taking his wife out to restaurants and the cinema. Husband and wife should be closer than the hubby with most friends (aside from a person that he grew up with). The occasional drink after work seems okay, but depending on how much you folks drink could have several repercussions. The major question is does the wife know what's going on and if not then why? The husband should tell his wife what's going on and ask her how she feels. That's the only person that really would know.

Brace yourself, she may be upset, angry, jealous, or even heartbroken. I know I would be.

Answer 5

Friends - yes of course. Cinema and meals - nah, that sounds too much like a date. Only do it in the company of other workmates and even then, don't always be sitting together as people will talk!

An after-dinner drink is about as far as any wife will generally tolerate.

Answer 6

Let's put it that way: how would you like it if the gentlemand was your own husband?
It seems to me that you do know the answer, and are trying to give yourself a good conscience.
But in fact you are on the verge of having an affair with a married man. This rarely ends happily for any of the party involved.
Does this man have children?
Did he make any promise to you?
How would you handle it if he were to most probably dump you afterwards?
Well, if you don't have a problem with being the "other" woman, then dear, that's has to be your call.

Answer 7

If you're asking that question, there is already something wrong! Maybe you should decide what you want before you hurt anyone.
It's OK to go out to returants and cinema with her if you wife goes too, but I don't think she would be too impressed if you went on your own with a single woman. If you get on really well with her and just enjoy her company why don't you explain to you wife and all go out together? If it's not just friendship on your mind, remember honesty is the best policy!

Answer 8

I absolute think that a married person has the right to have whatever friends they like, even single friends of the opposite sex. Now for a bit of advice. You have every right to say to a married woman who is a friend, and trying to talk about problems with her husband that you're sorry, but you aren't qualified to give advice. You are within your right to ask to be left out of marital problems. There are ways of staying out of the line of conflict while still being a good friend.

Answer 9

My best friend is a lady who works with me. We go on our lunch break together almost every day. We discuss our problems and help each other as friends do. I have never given any thoughts to advancing from where we are at. I believe that our friendship would not survive, if we did. A risk not worth taking.

Answer 10

I'm married and go out for drinks after work with single women etc. Its all down to where you want to draw the line. Being married does'nt mean you cant have single friends.

If she doesn't trust you then you have a bigger problem to deal with my friend.