What do you think of women that don't have a relationship with their father?

Question

Personally

1). I'm extremely self reliant/ almost over independant

2). Has trust issues

3). Thinks I can do everything on my own

4). Has low expectations of men in general

I have great relationships with men...I just don't expect it to last very long...

I'm 20 and very careful at who I choose to have a relationship with.

Yea, I agree that this is a huge generalization.

There are some women w/o father figures that are perfectly fine. I consider myself one of those women. I'm extremely cautious at who I let into my life though.

It's like I know there is a negative sterotype about women w/o father figures (i.e psycho, emotionally unstable, hoe s/sl uts, etc.)

I'm 20, in school, working part time, has had only two serious partners...It's like I'm determined to NOT be a stereotype. I guess that's a good thing :)

I'm determined to be a success story because I don't really have a relationship w/ my mother either. I'm the product of the man she hates so much...I'm like damm...I'm just the kid lol. I pretty much had to raise myself.

I guess that's where I get my determination from :)

Oh, and trust me...I've tried to be the bigger person and come to him without the anger and bitterness. No appreciation. My father had a horrible childhood from what I hear though. I'm not really angry at him. I just feel like, he must be hurting more than me. And I'll pray for him. I don't live in the past at all...I don't reside any anger or bitterness in my heart because I know that only hurts me in the end. I just figure I'm the product of unstable parents and I'm determined to not end up like them and end up with all the negative emotional ramifications of the past...I'm too blessed to be stressed. Having a close relationship w/ God keeps me stable, the only thing that keeps me from losin it lol

Answer 1

As for my daughters;
5) Safe, because he's a pedophile

Answer 2

Ouch! I would look into counseling. It really helps you understand your past, yourself, and how to proceed in with him and your life. Well spent money. Try a couple of sessions and see what you think. Obvioulsy, your father did not show you that he cared. A lot of fathers do not show love - like the mother - but they do show their daughter love by giving them attention, guidance, and sharing some time together. Even in the form of discipline when it is proper. Don't be too judgemental of him until you have had some counseling. Perhaps he went through some hard times you are not aware of, or if you think you know perhaps you do not understand. Try talking to him. Just find some private time and tell him you would like to have a serious conversation. Let HIM do the talking. Just ask a few questions and try to prod him on. Do it in a respectful manner without too much emotion. You might learn something. Avoid any conflict during this conversation and it may lead to more. How do you start. Not sure because each situation is different. Perhaps you can start by asking him to tell you about his life. Ask him if he is happy? Ask what he expects of you? Again, let him talk. Try not to show any attitude. You may want to ask him in the end if he loves you? Ask with a puzzled face. Don't let him draw you into a discussion or an arguement. You just want to get a better insight into him. Good luck. And please, go to counseling. I promise you, you will be glad you did.

You sound very intelligent and wise for your years. God bless you - and you are fortunate to have HIM in your life. So many people don't. Still, try a little counseling for a little more relief. Take care.

Answer 3

I think it all depends on woman character. I had abusive father that was alcoholic on top of things. Never home and if home then drunk and angry. I believe it didnt reflect on me a bit. The only things about me changes is the fact that i am being very carefully not to go his steps, not to become alcoholic, not to be abusive person. I daymn sure didnt become a woman thinking i can do everything on my own and i definitely dont have low expectation towards men in general or not in general. Somewhat independent, but i have trust issues. I dont believe all men are like my dad thats for sure so i dont have low expectations of men period and you shouldnt have either. Now the rest of the stuff made you only stronger, with an exception of having trust issues. Now that right there is just a *****! Unfortunately this is something i cant deal with and have no power over.

Answer 4

Typically we are generalizing here, and obviously not everyone has great relationships with their parents. However, studies have shown that women who have unresolved relationships with their dads, and men who have unresolved relationships with their moms, have a more difficult time in their love relationships. An abusive parent can cause long term psychological problems for their child, and this is frequently cause for separation or lack of any relationship in adult life. In my experience I have found that woman who have a reasonable relationship, (or had), with their father, appear more comfortable in a relationship with me. At the same time, those women who had problems, but have resolved them, make a better partner, as compared to someone still carrying around baggage from their childhood. The real question is how do you see yourself in this regard? Good luck.

Answer 5

Wow, I totally see where you're coming from. I'm 25yr old and I don't have a relationship with my father. I try not to dwell on it to much. I don't have low expectations of men, but I find myself doubting what they tell me. I know that's not the way to be, but hey-old habits are hard to break. I don't have trouble finding/ and being in relationships with "good" men, but everything keeps going back to the trust issue. Which is not good. I know the key to this problem is me. I've got to deal with my issues, and move on with my life.

Answer 6

I used to be a lot like that, and I don't have a good relationship with mine...but as time goes on, I find that I don't have trust issues and my husband and his family have restored my faith in men.

Answer 7

It depends on why you don't have a relationship with him to begin with..Has he tried to have a relationship with you? Did he do something in the past that is unforgivable? Everyone deserves a second chance, but you have to follow your heart and what has happenend in your life!!

Answer 8

i would say 1, 2 and 4

Answer 9

Bottom line you nailed it. Women who do not have a father or a father figure in their lives most often have relationship issues when they are older.

Answer 10

I think those women can have a good and happy life....however I think they have more mountains to climb then women that had a loving and attentive father who was also loving and attentive to your mother.

I was very lucky.