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my brother is 12 and confessed to me that he is gay shold i tell my mum he is extremly camp and ive caught him wearing my clothes!!!

2007-02-03 05:23:29 · 38 answers · asked by Cookie 1 in Society & Culture Cultures & Groups Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender

38 answers

I guess you are a woman. No, you should not tell your parents

2007-02-03 05:27:03 · answer #1 · answered by Kedar 7 · 9 0

For a start no,no,no you should most def not tell your mum! That would be the worst possible thing you could do. Not only could you cause your brother problems if you did but you could also cause a rift between you and your brother. This is a big thing for him to be telling anyone and he's chosen you to be the one that he confides in. Surely this should tell you how close he feels to you and how much trust he has in you,after all you are his big sister and he obviously looks up to you. My advice to you is,just be there for him as that's what he really needs from you more than anything else right now. Be his sounding board and listen and if he needs it and your able to,give him advice. If you heed the advice i've given you,i guarantee he will thank you for it but if you don't and you do tell your mum then he's much more likely to hate you for it. At the end of the day it should be his own choice to be able to tell your mum in his own time and not for someone else to take the choice away from him,after all he may not want your mum to know just yet! As for him borrowing your clothes,if you're uncomfortable with him doing that or he's taking them without asking,then sit him down and talk to him about it. If you don't like it because it makes you uncomfortable,tell him but think about what you're going to say before you say it as you need to put it in a way that he knows you still love and care about him. If it's because he's taking without asking,then tell him you don't mind him borrowing as long as he asks your permission first. I hope what i've written is of some help to you. Good luck and take care ;-)

2007-02-05 01:02:48 · answer #2 · answered by SHAKIRA 2 · 0 0

Maybe he is, maybe not. Maybe he just likes wearing opposite sex clothing, or is exploring his more feminine side - campness/clothing etc. Most transvestites are straight btw and most gay guys don't behave as transvestites either.

He's still young, let him explore and grow up his own way. If he wants some female clothes, perhaps you could help him choose and look after them for him etc?

Never break trust except to prevent serious harm. If he's wanting to share more, he'll trust you, which will be a good thing to bring you closer.

Good luck! Rob

2007-02-05 06:11:53 · answer #3 · answered by Rob E 7 · 1 0

Hi. Sounds like your brother has come to you to talk to you rather than your mom for a reason. I had a similar experience when my sister confided in me and did not tell the rest of my family for another two years. If you think it's difficult for you to accept, just think about the road he's going to be going down in the next few years. Things are going to be difficult for him and he decided you were a person that he could trust during a vulnerable time. Like all people, he will find his confidence broken by people he trusted - don't be like other people. This is probably the most important thing that he will tell anyone for years to come. Remember a time when someone betrayed your trust when you feel the urge to tell someone.
For a good list of resources for friends & family who are helping someone dealing with sexuality issues, go here: http://www.idiom.com/~cxarli/english/resources.html#parent

I hope this helps you. Oh yeah, the clothes decision is up to you.

2007-02-03 05:57:32 · answer #4 · answered by uksmartypants 2 · 1 0

Poor kid. Leave him alone. If he really is gay then telling your Mum isn't going to change that if he isn't and it's just a thing he's going through (a lot of people do) you're going to look really stupid when he brings a gorgeous girl home. If you are any sort of a sister you would just take him as he is anyway. He could be the best friend you ever have if you are there for him.

2007-02-03 05:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by SANDY B 1 · 2 0

No, don't tell your mum. He shouldn't be outed by anyone, if he indeed is gay. Its difficult to know what you are at 12. I think he needs to be explore himself. He needs to go through puberty and ensure that he knows who he fancies - whether its men, women, both or none. Don't pressure him. Just support him in whatever his final decision is.

Hope that helps.

By the way, I know straight blokes who are camp and wear womens clothes, so it doesn't mean anything!

2007-02-03 06:12:36 · answer #6 · answered by GayAtheist 4 · 3 0

I don't think you should tell your parents anyting, because coming out of the closet is something that, in my opinion, gays need to experience. If he is forced into coming out of the closet, and your mum freaks, then he may always think his mum is disapproving of him, that would be hard on a young chap! However, if you just let him come out in the open on his own time, then you will know he is ready, and plus, it will also be easier on your mum...

Josh;)

2007-02-03 16:04:21 · answer #7 · answered by Yehoshua 2 · 0 0

No! Don't tell your mother. She'll be violently sick and probably throw him out onto the streets. You must keep this a secret and take him to an exorcist. After that, burn all his underwear and buy some new ones from the high street.

Just joking. I l have nothing against gays and they are as normal as straights. I think you should let him tell your mother when he is ready.

2007-02-03 05:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1 1

You should be proud that he told you - it's not "confessing". It's him being assertive and telling you straight (no pun intended).
I expect your mum has worked it out for herself but you might like to suggest to your brother that he discusses it with her anyway.
By the way, being gay isn't the same as being a cross dresser. Many straight men like to wear women's clothes from time to time.

2007-02-03 05:28:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

hello...OK so 12 is young...i knew from 9....it could be a phase it could be the rest of his life..either way its a big thing to of told you. How do you think your mom will react, its her little boy after all...mine wanted to slit my throat and i waited till i was 21...remember it can go either way..you decide! Either way he's still your brother and he must love and trust you a lot to tell you this. i don't envy your position good luck with your decision.
By the way...skinnymin's answer is wrong..."shouldn't be gay"...get over yourself.

2007-02-04 14:06:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Good for him: I knew at that age too.

His mother already KNOWS; and she will not be taken by surprise when he tells her, in his own good time.

Better that way than my young 17-year-old gardener, who minces down the road, bends from the hip to pick weeds, screams when he touches a worm and rushes indoors to wash his hands.

He watched "Billy Elliot" with me the other week, and there he was with tears in his eyes when the two boys kissed.

Then he tells me he's "just looking for the right girl."

Why don't I believe him?

Each to their own, and all in good time, when they're ready for it.

2007-02-04 07:32:35 · answer #11 · answered by musonic 4 · 0 0

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