I just asked a question over in the family section and got rude answers?

Question

I was asking about how to get my fiance to do the things a man should be doing around the house. I got called sexist a ton of times,they said that I could do the things like changing lightbulbs and put air in car tires. Before I was pregnant sure I had no problem doing those things. But while I was pregnant I turned those things over to my fiance because I dont need to be up on a ladder or trying to bend over to put air in a tire while I was pregnant. And now six months post partum I still leave those things to my fiance. So my question is, do you other mothers/wives feel that I am being sexist, and also did your views on who should do what chores around the house change after pregnancy was over.

i know how to work , i painted house exteriors for a living before baby

Answer 1

I think it is only right for a man to do his share around the house whether your pregnant or not.

My husband cleans, takes out trash, changes light bulbs, and so much more. Its only fair.

We dont believe there is such things as "man chores" and "woman chores" we each do what we have to do.

Answer 2

Maybe my husband and I were raised old fashioned or something, but he has always just naturally been the one to do those things. While I'm not pregnant I'll change the lightbulbs and such, but still with a 5 year old and a 3 year old running around my feet I at least wait until he's home if I can to keep an eye on the kids so I don't get knocked off a ladder or whatever. I don't think you're sexist at all. I'll also tell you that while I was breastfeeding my hubby did a lot of cooking and cleaning. It's just easier to divvy up the chores differently sometimes because it's what makes sense. If you and your fiance are happy with your situation, then that's what matters.

Answer 3

I completely understand. I have two kids, a full time job, and go to school full time and I do everything on my own with no help from my husband. That is how it was when I was pregnant and that is how it is now. Actually he is like having a third child. I clean the house, do the dishes, do the laundry, cook, take care of paying the bills, keep track of important dates (doctor's appt. etc.), bathe the kids, feed the kids, put them bed, wake them up, take my daughter to and from pre-school, I do it all. I average about 2 to 3 hours of sleep a night if I'm lucky. My husband thinks he shouldn't have to do any of those things because he has a full time job, but he always he will quit his job so he can stay home and do all that. It's pretty funny how I also have a full time job and go to school full time and still do all those things. I guess women are just more capable of doing it then men because I have heard many other women complain about it. In fact, my mother said when she divorced my dad that is what she said to herself...I do everything myself so what in the hell do I need you for. She was right.

Answer 4

I think common sense should make him want to do these things. I know that my husband would have a fit if he seen me on a ladder at any point in my pregnancy. He fussed when I climbed on a chair to get a bowl out of the cabinet. I definitely do not think you are a sexist for by any means! My hubby even washes the dishes now. In the last couple of months I have not even filled the car up with gas. Man I should be alot more nicer to him, he is really helping me alot. Let your man know that you are not asking for any hand outs, but would like him to be more willing to do more till after the baby is born, it is best for you and the baby. I am sure he is just used to you being more independent and not realizing it. Good luck.

Answer 5

No, I don't think you are being sexist. I mean, you probably clean house and do laundry and that kind of thing, right. I don't think it's too much to ask of a man to do some of those other things. I mean, my husband fixes things around the house, changes light bulbs, takes out the trash, stuff like that, and I think he gets off pretty easily. Although, he has tried to do laundry and wash dishes a few times, and that didn't go so well. I really don't think he messed it up on purpose either. LOL.

Answer 6

I have 2 kids, 3 and 10 months. I take care of the kids and do the house work, and yes he helps out when hes home. He loves to play with the kids, and that is great. However i let him deal with all the matenance stuff. If hes not avaliabe, hes in the military so sometimes hes gone for 6 mon. +) I do it myself. He enjoys to doing those things for me, and i enjoy doing things for him. A realtionship is give and take, if he doesnt want to do those things then he can help out with the house cleaning or giving the kids baths and such. Would it be sexist if i expected him to cook and care for the kids and he expected me to do all the other stuff? who cares what eaither one does as long as its getting done. An even work load is not always possiable, but helping out when you can makes things easier on the other person. I dont think its sexist at all.

Answer 7

My husband was a perfect angel when i was pregnant and during the first year after she was born.. no I can not get him to do ANYTHING.. I am not sure why they do this.. I don't think you are being sexist or anything.. a home and family is supposed to be 50/50 in all aspects including caring for children and house hold duties. income is a touchy subject due to some couples prefer one parent to stay home and such. Men usually have a sence of pride when they are called upon to do manly things( ie air in tires and opening jars) It makes them still feel needed. So in last words I say keep it up if there is a problem that you are asking to much your husband would surely tell you(honey can you please do it yourself).

Answer 8

Wow you got called sexist? Sorry to hear. I do most of my own stuff, if I know how--I will admit to asking my husband to take my Jeep to have the oil changed for my because they always tell me somethings wrong and I need this and that--saves me the headache. I don't think your being sexist, maternally traditional,
yes. And yes things change after you have a child. But I am going to give you a piece of sound advice, if you are perfectly capable of doing a job/chore, do it, only because you don't want to have to rely on someone else to do it---because sooner or later you are going to resent him for not doing it. Been there, done that. The times they are a changin'. Good Luck.

Answer 9

hell no honey your not being sexist at all! those are a mans job!!!
as a mother of one and an expectant mother i have to say my husbands always been good about the manly chores around the house such as light bulbs,air in the tires, taking out the trash..etc. my views didn't change and will not change after all we clean, we cook and after all we are the ones who keep the home running! hello ladies we give birth!!! stand your ground!!

Answer 10

To those that advocate women's lib, equality, and feminist values... you are a sexist. Welcome to the club!!!
A lot of women view it as there's nothing they can't do, men aren't really necessary. Their view is that there are no male or female jobs - everything should be shared. Over the past few decades, gender roles have been blurred and twisted, leaving both men and women confused as to what to expect or ask of a spouse.
In my house, it's 100% traditional/conservative. I do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, and majority of the child care. I also work part time (for financial reasons only). My husband takes care of all the "man" jobs - garbage, light bulbs, lawn, home repairs, etc. I don't expect him to cook or do laundry, and he doesn't expect me to mow the lawn or change the oil in the cars. Can I do those things? Of course, I made sure I learned. But I don't do them... they're HIS jobs.
You also have to understand that most likely, a lot of your responses probably came from younger singles, that have not yet been part of a marriage, and are just spouting off what they've been taught. Other responses probably came from feminists, or the men married to them (who tend to feel that if women want the benefits of equality, they also have to take on the responsibilities of equality, including changing light bulbs and killing spiders).
Only you and your husband know what works for you... take the good advice to heart, and thumbs down all the rude answers.