My little sister just got engaged to this mysterious guy, that I have reason to believe is a compulsive liar (made up having a brain tumor, etc.), avoids letting her meet his parents, and he says his parents won't allow him to live at their house until they get married, but avoids explaining why. There are other things I don't have time to explain as to why I'm nervous about my sister marrying this guy also.
My mom gave me his parent's phone number, and I'm considering calling them, just to demystify this guy. How can I tactifully call out of the blue and ask about their son and what they think of the idea of him getting married?
2007-02-03 04:57:59 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Up until this point, I'm never the one to interfere with things. Trust me, this is totally out of character for me... I just have a bad feeling about it. My sister is acting different since she's been with him too. She won't talk to me openly anymore. She's also easy to take advantage of because she's so sympathetic. There's just too many secrets. I just want to make sure he's not a psycho.
2007-02-03 05:04:31 · update #1
Silly Kimm:
Listen, he says they won't allow HIM (alone) to live with them until the wedding. That's why I think it's odd, not even for two weeks to find an apartment for himself, so he's planning on moving in with my sister until they get married. He has a criminal record, but he won't sy for what... this is more extreme than you think.
2007-02-03 05:15:16 · update #2
I've tried to get to know him, but he never gives anyone more than one word answers and won't look anyone in the eye, not even after six months of him coming over every weekend.
2007-02-03 05:16:20 · update #3
My mom thought about calling, but she wants to try and remain as neutral as possible so she doesn't drive her daughter away. An older sister can get away with something like that easier than a parent.
2007-02-03 05:19:42 · update #4
UPDATE:
I called his mom yesterday. She was very nice and very understanding. She didn't know that they had planned on getting married so soon. She comfirmed that he had a problem with compulsive lying. She also said he had 1-2 children somewhere that he had never met nor paid a penny towards child support. She said that he's never done drugs or anything, but that he had never held down a job for more than a 3 months. She said that overall, he has a lot of "messes" to clean up but that underneath he's a sweet person. I was just glad to hear that he wasn't violent or a criminal, although the thing about his children is concerning (I don't know if my sister knows, I'm sure it will come out eventually) . I told my sister that I called (although I downplayed the reason) and she was a little annoyed but was OK. We arranged a dinner between both pairs of parents and my sister and her fiancee. Although her fiancee desperately tried to get out of it. We'll see what happens. Thanks!
2007-02-04 02:41:45 · update #5
I'd plan a dinner or brunch or lunch with you and your folks and call and invite his folks........PLUS I'd be getting a private detective to check him out, it sounds like there are big issues lurking....or pay the price and search him out on the web...gut feelings are usually right
2007-02-03 05:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone, it's none of your business. This is your sister's life and I would stop doing what you're doing. Well, it sounds like his parents have morals, and good Christian beliefs if they won't allow those two to shack up in their home. They simply want to wait until they are married, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and I think that they are right and the reason should be a given. Too many people shack up these days.
Stay out of this, you're acting like a child and it's not your place! You need to butt out of your sister's life, if you continue to do this, you'll ruin her life and lose her fiance's respect for you. Mind your own business! Would you want someone to do the same to you? I think not.
2007-02-03 13:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with your curiosity, it sounds like your sister might be rushing into something that may not be in her best interest... However, I don't think calling this guys parents yourself would be a good idea... not out of the blue at least. Despite your well reasoned concern, I still think that you'd be overstepping your boundries if you called.
Sorry I dont have a better idea, but I think you just need to talk with your sister...
2007-02-03 13:06:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jeff S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's in trouble! Someone needs to intervene! If you love your sister you will do whatever you can to stop her from marrying him.
It will be hard getting her away from him but she needs a lot of emotional support. You won't be able to do it alone because she's being dominated and controlled by this devil. You need to get all of her friends and family involved.......If you don't fight hard against his dominance, SHE WILL SUFFER!
2007-02-03 13:01:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you need to call them if you have their number... I think he is hiding things and that there is a reason for it... He is being very secretive and deceptive. See if your sister wantst to talk to them with you as well... Go for it!
2007-02-03 13:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Marisol...You SHOULD be concerned.
Yeah, I'd call, or drop in...
Be prepared for the worst though, your sister could hate you for awhile, there could be a lot of drama, and she could still go through with it.
2007-02-03 13:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by steelypen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well technically, it's none of your business. But if you mom has his parents number, why doesn't she call and get the scoop, since they will soon be inlaws?
2007-02-03 13:01:32 · answer #7 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just call and ask them why they havent met their futher daughter in law yet.
2007-02-03 13:03:03 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋