Re: having your own tv cooking show...can you write an amusing paragraph or 2 or more that includes ...?

Question

these phrases?
1. The camera lens fell into the pot of soup!!
2. OMG...I think I put in SALT, not sugar.
3. The love of my life was in the audience....with his girlfriend.
4. A little sugar. A little spice. To go to commercial would be VERY nice.
5. Suddenly the electricity went out....a lady in the audience screamed....chaos,baby!!
6. The ghost of Julia Child floated across the stage!!

Answer 1

I feel sorry for folks who go to work every morning and hate their jobs. They continue to do so day after day to provide for their families. Well, I was one of them for the longest time. I worked in the Medical Device industry for over 25 years and absolutely hated it. Not only did I have to put up with incompetent, snotty and rude bosses, but also the government agencies that were always auditing the company. Wanting to make a change, I started looking for a new job and saw a posting for try outs for a cooking show that was going to be on TV. I love to cook and eat so naturally I wanted to try out for it.

When I arrived at the restaurant that the TV station had rented for the tryouts, I discovered a long line of hopefuls wanting to change their lives just like I did. Too make a long story short, the producer liked my audition and I was hired. I now host a show called “If I can cook, you can cook”. Personally, I find the title a bit of an insult, but what the heck, I get to do something I really love to do and that is to cook.

Today is the first taping of my show. I’m so nervous that the make up lady has already touched up my makeup twice because of me sweating. Everyone keeps on telling me to relax, but that is easier said than done. You should try standing in front of the cameras with the hot lights on you, it’s down right uncomfortable. Another thing I should mention is that this show is taped before a live audience.

I’m making Smoked Sausage and Lentil Soup. According to the producer, it is a classic New Year’s dish in some regions of Italy. As the camera rolled, I was cooking the garlic in a Dutch over. Not being familiar with how thing worked on the set, I accidentally moved a little too far to the left and knocked into the camera. The next thing I knew, the camera lens fell into the pot of soup!!! Filming was stopped and I apologized to everyone. I was given another Dutch oven and garlic and told to start again, and to pay attention to where I was standing. Got to tell you right now that Emeril sure makes his cooking show look easy, but there is a lot of work involved. I’m happy to report that I made it through the rest of the soup without further incidents.

My next recipe was a Layered Chocolate-Zabaglione Cream Cake, which is one of Italy’s most prized culinary masterpieces. I was still shaking from the camera lens incident but I was going to make this cake no matter what. I melted the bitter sweet chocolate in the small saucepan as I had been instructed to do. Next I mixed all of the remaining ingredients together in a large bowl, gently folded the chocolate mixture into the cake batter and pour it all into a prepared cake pan. The mixture was put into the oven to bake for 20 minutes. I was beginning to feel pretty happy now until I got back to the counter and noticed the bowl that had sugar in it was awfully full. I quickly look at the salt bowl and my worst fears were confirmed, as it was almost empty. OMG…I think I put salt, not sugar in the cake. I began to panic again. Should I say something or just continue on with the show I wondered. I decided to keep quite and instead of passing samples of the cake to the audience to sample it myself.

There was a short break between courses and I had to be witty with the audience. I was moving about them when I noticed the love of my life was in the audience…with his girlfriend. Sometimes I think I’m really cursed. Why in the world would he show up here and bring HER with him? He smiled at me but the whole time he was rubbing her arm. I wanted to take the boning knife and show him that I knew how to use it, but suddenly the electricity went out…a lady in the audience screamed…chaos, baby!!! I heard the producer say “A little sugar. A little spice. To go to commercial would be VERY nice” and that is what they did. I’m not sure if it was the heat, excitement or both, but I could have sworn I saw the ghost of Julia Child float across the stage!!! I couldn’t have asked for a better ghost to be here. I felt renewed, almost at peace. When the electricity came back on and the cameras began to roll again I did everything exactly like I was supposed to do. Everything, except for the cake, turned out well.

In regards to the cake, the audience was served cake that my kitchen helpers made. The one with all of the salt in it was baked, cooled and frosted. Then I had it boxed up and given to my ex-boyfriend as a present to remember me by.

Answer 2

Having my boyfriend with me on a fantasy island would be perfect!

Answer 3

I have one word to say, YUM-O !!