Who's the wife? Who's the husband?

Question

My wife and I have gotten this question before, or had people guess that she's "the man." (She's more butch than I am.) We can't stand it. We usually snarl out, "Neither". (Or if it's "Who's the wife?", we snarl, "Both!")

I was reminded of this by the latest Miss Manners, in which a gay man asks about a response to that question.

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/living/16565979.htm?source=rss

Do you get that question? If so, how do you handle it?

Answer 1

wow .. i never thought of that before.. or more importantly how that question could be taken... as a straight person we only look at the female .. male thing..husband and wife ... we never look at each other as partners..maybe if we did there would not be as many divorces.. and maybe one would not think that they were above the other in a controlling way..but if i was in the situation i believe i would just smile and say were both equal..most of the time it is the men that would ask that.. they think there so superior to us women.. when the truth is they could not find there tool with out our help

Answer 2

How annoying is it when people say this!!
We are getting married in December, and have been getting the question Who is wearing the dress, whos the husband etc.
I find the best answer to be something along the lines of
"neither, we are not bound by the same things you are" or "we dont gender-lise our relationship" or best of all "does it really matter" because essentially it doesnt.
Anyway, congrats on your relationship and best of luck with the narrow minded people of this world- were on your side :)

Answer 3

ask them who is on top in their bedroom, or something equally embarrassing!

1) Are you trying to come on to one of us?
2) Oh No... the gender police... hide honey!
3) I used to be, and she will be soon!

have fun with the narrow minded!