Why a married man looks for s*x with another man?

Question

If he knew he was like that ,why did he get married?

I'm not judging anybody,this is just to find a possible explanation.

Answer 1

Many, many men are trapped in a world NOT of their own making. They can make it with women, have families, pretend that all is well with the world. Yet, underneath, they long for the love they cannot find with a woman. Don't be so hard on them. They did not creat a world where it is dangerous to be gay, where a gay man can be hog tied and drug behind a truck! My advice is to see the movie, Brokeback Mountain to gain a little understanding. Often, these men's lives are living hell...they do not like themselves, their actions, their sneaking around, but genes scream out at times. Lighten up on them and have a little understanding. IF they are very descrete and safe, little if any harm is caused (in reality), but it is their lives that are thrown away, not yours. Rarely do their wives ever even suspect...It is a very sad situation.

Answer 2

1. Because their wives know they like men and turn a blind eye to their behavior, for the sake of the marriage. Such men know their wives are enablers like this and so feel they can do anything they want.

2. Some guys are bisexual. They might have restrained themselves early on in the marriage but then the temptation to be with another man becomes too great.

3. Men do things to other men sexually that their wives may not be willing to do.

4. Some bi guys (or closeted gay married men) want to play a more passive role in the sexual arena and so do this with other bi or gay men who are tops.

5. Some married guys who do this are not actually bi at all but gay -- and there really is no sexual activity going on with their wives.

6. For some men, they gain an enormous amount of validation for their masculinity by being intimate with another man. In life, most validation like this (male/male) is, in fact, nonsexual, but for some men, validation in a sexual manner by another man is what they are really after -- and it may be the only kind of male/male validation they ever experience.

Answer 3

I have to agree with Kedars answer, I was married to a woman for almost 15 years before I was able to deal with my own feelings and upbringing. I would not change my life for anything,I have 2 wonderful sons, and ex-wife who has become with time a great friend. I am now the man I always should have been, a proud gay man, who has realized he cannot control others feelings. I can only hope to try and improve the situation for others who are living the life I used too.

Answer 4

It's very simple. Because of society. There is a term, i wish i could remember it now, but it's when a man (or women) marrys to opposite sex to keep their homosexuailty hidden from friends, family, employer and soceity.


It's really sad that Homosexuals have to live this way. Some marriages the "spouse" knows about this, and they "swing" so that they can be happy sexually, but stay together for societies sake. So they won't shunned, or keep a job that is very anti-gay.

Answer 5

Maybe because he's bisexual.
In bisexuals one or the other element tends to predominate, so if a bi man marries he opts for the "normal" pattern, but it doesn't mean the gay side goes away. He can ignore it, but eventually it will resurface or have to be expressed.
As most men are to some extent bi, a lot of men have to suppress feelings which makes them frustrated and unhappy. This is our current culture, ain't it great?

Answer 6

Because he was raised to believe that the only future for him was to get married to a woman, that they only way society would accept him was to suppress any homosexual tendencies.

Sci fi is full of stories about aliens trying to disguise themselves as humans and not being able to keep up the pretense for long because of the effort and energy it took. I think the best of those stories might have been written by gays.

Answer 7

Not really sure, but this may have something to do with it. Our society, as a whole, tends to look down on homosexuality. Many men who are tempted with this will keep it in the closet and attempt to live a heterosexual life rather than face condemnation from those around them. They will even go so far as to marry and have families in an attempt to deny their sexual preference. Many of them are able to make a good life with their wives and leave their same sex attraction behind them. Others are not so fortunate. They fall into the temptation and give in to their desires, all the while knowing it would devastate their wives if it werre found out. The temptation is just too strong or they are too weak to remain faithful. I don't think it is easy for them either. They will have terrible feelings of guilt and worthlessness because of it, but it is hard for them to fight against it. Be careful not to be too judgmental about them, unless you have had to walk in their shoes. We all have some area where we are tempted and weak.

Answer 8

Overall, it's very sad.

These guys are afraid of who they are and this is based solely on society opinions. It's these religious kooks who run wild in this country who are the one's causing this. If Gay people were able to get married and live their lives without these religious nutcases who are strangely obessesd with gay sex and homosexuality by sticking their noses in their lives and taking away their rights in this country, then we wouldn't have horrible situations like this that destroy and betray families.

Answer 9

There are homosexual persons who repress their homosexuality for years. Mostly it is due to social pressure to conform, and to the lack of information in the society in which they live.

They may get married and have children. But then at some point in their lives, they realize that they have never really felt anything for the opposite sex, while their feelings for the same sex never goes away.

At that point in their lives, they finally recognise their own homosexuality.

Answer 10

For a gay man to do that is beyond shameless. I feel sorry for women who marry men who are secretly gay.

It's absurd if gay men still continue to do this type of thing. This is the year 2007. Homosexuality isn't looked down upon as much as it was in the past. If a gay man nowadays marries a woman just to cover his a**, then he's just a degenerate.