my husband had an affair on his 1st wife(not with me)and left her.this was over 6 yrs ago and i had nothing to do with their divorce but she is so bitter/jealous towords me its making my life hell.the main problem is they have a child together and she can't stand me being around thier son.how long does it take for the exwife to "move on" ?will this get better in time?when she finds a bf?
2007-02-03 04:10:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If she's pissy about you and you didn't have anything to do with the divorce, she's just a pissy person. She's probably upset that her husband has found some happiness and she hasn't.
I'm in the same situation. My husband was married to his ex for 3 years. We've been married 13. They have a child together but he lives with us. And no, I didn't have anything to do with the divorce. Some people don't want anyone else to be happy if they can't be happy.
Don't let her get to you. If she does, she wins. Be the better person and know that her bitterness and jealousy is eating her alive.
2007-02-03 04:22:41 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not you she hates it's him! If he had married someone else she'd hate her too. So now you know it's not personal. She can't stand that he got over her and moved on. It might ease up in time, but, I've known women that haved carried this on for over 20 years.The only thing you can do to ease it up is to be polite. She'll be in your life for a very long time. Don't stoop to her level of behavior. Sooner or later she'll realize she's being a jerk if she keeps being hostile to your civility. Take the high road sweetie, that will frost her cookies more than open warfare!
2016-05-23 23:23:47 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a sure sign of insecurity. Sadly, her working through many other issues other than her breakup with your husband is what will make her stop. I don't truly know the whole situation with your husband and his ex, but I'd be willing to bet he strayed because of her insecurities. How could he be happy with her if she wasn't happy with herself?
But in the case of his son, that is her feeling that her son may favor you over her - which again, is a sign of insecurity. And the boy just may do that if she keeps acting so immaturely. I think that you need to keep your cool, let the little boy have a POSITIVE female/mother figure in his life - don't let the ex break you!!
Each person has their own time line for healing. But the first step for her is to address her own issues. So there is no clear sign right now for her moving on. What you have to do is to focus on your husband and your relationship with him. Work on making your relationship better, don't dwell on the ex. If the two of you are strong together, nothing can tear you down.
Best of luck to you - be strong....
2007-02-03 04:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by lanibear55 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work on being the best #2 mom to your husbands child. And you need to continue to build your relationship with your husband. The ex is a non-issue. The only thing you have to do here, is just be yourself. That will win everyone over. If she is making your life miserable , she is miserable herself, and I'm sure everyone involved sees this also. As long as you remain an important person in your husbands and his sons life that is all you need to worry about. She will either get over it..or get on with it once she sees she doesn't bother you anymore...
2007-02-03 04:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by chatterella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman whom the husband is now with is going to hate who
ever he is with. She remembers what he did to her and is remembering what that was like for her.
Any children that belong to him and her she feels she is the Mother and is afraid of being replaced.
The only way to help her over it, is let her know you have told the children that she is their Mother and always will be.
Hopefully eventually she will accept it , but to move on, it takes time..
2007-02-03 04:24:41 · answer #5 · answered by AutumnWind 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she fells like you have stolen her husband from her even though that she knew that it wasn't you who your husband had an affair with but your are the one that is in front of her and with with him now and for the child, she fells like your are trying to steal him too
maybe you can try to set a meeting with her and try to talk her some sense about what's going on so you can stop this
2007-02-03 04:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by eng_marioum 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably still hasnt got over the fact that he cheated on her and left her with their child, id be bitter, but then you cant go on like that she has to move on, imsure it will get better with time and perhaps if she does find someone new that will speed the process up.
2007-02-03 04:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by herbal ashtray 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It brings her back the failures that are now clear to her and she cannot tolerate herself; she has to somehow let out her anger and her own hatred of her past failures.
You must learn to ignore her. Who is she? she has nothing to do with your present life. If you start worrying and she comes to know it is going to be more fun to her. You got it ?
2007-02-03 04:20:14 · answer #8 · answered by Marks 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's extremely jealous!! She thinks you're trying to take her place in her child and husband's lives...
Just ignore her and good luck!!
2007-02-03 04:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by Me! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is jealous because she knows that you make him happy, and apparently she didn't. When she finds someone new than she will back down.
2007-02-03 04:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by E 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋