my husband had an affair on his 1st wife(not with me)and left her.this was over 6 yrs ago and i had nothing to do with their divorce but she is so bitter/jealous towords me its making my life hell.the main problem is they have a child together and she can't stand me being around thier son.how long does it take for the exwife to "move on" ?will this get better in time?when she finds a bf?
2007-02-03 04:07:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've never been cheated on so I don't know how she feels, I can only imagine. Your response is based on the fact that you are not in her shoes. I can only imagine what hurt your husband cheating on her made her feel. You got his point of view and you decided to forgive him and build a life with him. So in her eyes, she feels that what he did, did not cause him him to loose anything. Yet she is left with the pain. I am not saying her behavior is OK, just that she has a right to be angry. I am not taking her side, but how would you have felt if it was you? Please do not think for one minute that you would not be angry and hurt.
2007-02-03 04:22:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her bitterness will make her ill shortly. She is having flashbacks of what he has done to her. She is keeping a record of his wrong doings. This is unforgiveness.
Unforgiveness turns into resentment, then retaliation, then anger, then hatred, then violence. One violence erupts, the final fruit of bitterness is murder. It can be physical murder or murder with the tongue, but from the mind to the heart it is there. When it gets to the heart it will set up residence. She doesn't have to forgive his sin against her or condone it, but she must forgive him. She must separate him from what he did to her and her child. She is doing the right thing by staying single until her child is grown. There is one thing that children do not like and that is extra parents. Children want one dad and one mom and no more. He should have stayed single until the son was grown also. You can tell your husband for me that life is not all about him. The ex-wife is suffering because of what your husband did to her and her child. She is not jealous. She is very bitter. She sees her son when he needs a father figure and the father is not there. Be patient with her and be very kind to her and whatever you do be good to her son. It is her son and not yours. This lady has been hurt very badly. Put yourself in her place and put some love in your heart.
2007-02-03 04:51:46 · answer #2 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is no longer you she hates it is him! If he had married some different person she'd hate her too. So now you already are conscious of it is no longer own. she will't stand that he were given over her and moved on. it may ease up in time, yet, i have common women human beings that haved carried this on for over 2 a lengthy time period.the merely element you could do to ease it up is to be well mannered. She'll be on your existence for a lengthy time period. do not hunch to her element of habit. finally she'll understand she's being a jerk if she retains being adversarial for your civility. Take the intense highway sweetie, which will frost her cookies more effective than open conflict!
2016-11-02 05:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he cheated on the woman, hurt her terribly, she is going to be bitter with anyone involved with him, she may get better when her life changes for the best and she also finds happiness. the child is all she has to use against him, for the hurt he caused her. never think he won't cheat on u too. he must have done something terrible to her, and she just isn't over it yet.
2007-02-03 07:49:49 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got me, its possible that she was just a b*tch to start with.
I'm delighted that my ex remarried, I haven't seen or heard of him since 1978. Except for the fact that the kids haven't had any contact with him either, but we worked that out when my husband adopted them.
2007-02-03 04:34:31 · answer #5 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she was cheated on so she feels she was never good enough. no matter who her ex husband ends up with,she will always feel jealous towards her because of that. She will move on when she finds true love of her own.
2007-02-03 04:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didn't want him but she didn't want him to have anyone else him either. She wants him to be unhappy for the rest of his life. It will probably never get any better than what it is now.
2007-02-03 04:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by The 5 pound Robin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no ten years later I'm still dealing with the same crap and shes remarried with 2 more children. good luck.
2007-02-03 04:14:39 · answer #8 · answered by pooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cuz u treat him better than she did and she knows it
2007-02-03 04:11:20 · answer #9 · answered by Daniel R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋