So my husband wakes up this morning and the first thing he does is call his best friend to see what he is doing today. I wake up thinking, "hmm, what are we going to do as a family today?". He wakes up thinking, "Hmm, wonder what my buddy is doing today?". When I get upset he says "you don't have to have me to take our daughter somewhere. She is only one and a half, and I am 9 months pregnant, so it is more of a chore to take her anywhere by myself. It's not like we can sit down in a restaurant and have a conversation. Anyone else see the selfishness here? I may as well be a single mom if its gonna be like that, right?
2007-02-03 03:54:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And its like this every weekend. Watching sports and hanging out with friends is always first priority!
2007-02-03 03:54:58 · update #1
Hmmm...I am a married man and yes I like to hang out with my friends from time to time. But not every single weekend. You need to have a serious talk with him. He is married now and should see you and your child as his priority, not his friends.
2007-02-03 03:57:42 · answer #1 · answered by Harry Taco 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your not the only one my husband would Rather leave and be with his friends than be with me and our kids but I have grown use to this behavior from him (when I say leave I mean for days or months at a time) what I did was get myself a friend and when I wake up in the morning I call my friend and talk about everything in the world My husband doesn't like it but maybe he's getting the same feelings that had when he put his friends before me and our children I'm not saying this is what you should do but I would advice you to start doing things that make you feel better without your husband don't be so quick to be around when he comes in from his field trip with the boys let him start missing you and wondering if you are the one that don't want to spend time with him he probably thinks because you are pregnant that you need him for everything but believe me you don't go out get your hair done buy yourself a nice maternity outfit and take yourself out for a while and come home and relax in the tub as if he's not even there show him that you can enjoy yourself without him and see if he realize what he has at home.
2007-02-03 04:29:01 · answer #2 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there are guys you never grow up and he seems like one of them. I would always make time for my wife and kids all the time. Because who would I rather kiss and make out with? My wife of course not none of my friends. SO maybe when he comes back and he feels frisky tell him to go play with his buddies. He might get mad but he should understand how you feel. ANd if you ever going to leave him make sure from now on everytime he and you get paid put it in an account so that if you ever do you will have money to go off with your kids and not have to worry about not having any money. ANd remember that he is making his own grave so think about how he is treating you and especially now in your present condition. But if need a friend to chat with just IM me or e-mail me anytime.
2007-02-03 04:04:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make plans for a weekend a month together. For instance, plan for one weekend a month to do things with the family. He can still hang out with his friends, while one weekend a month is with the family. But plan something ahead of time, so you are not left wondering what you are going to do that day. Maybe, when he sees that he can have fun with the family as well, he may be less tempted to go out with his friends...maybe. The weekend you plan should be something the family will enjoy.
2007-02-03 04:02:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, my husband loves to spend time with me and our children. In fact he gets upset, if a weekend or a week goes by and we dont get our 'special date night'.
Although I try to encourage him to do things with his friends, and he does sometimes..but he tells me how bad he misses me while he was gone.
Your husband needs to put you and the kiddos first..sit him down and talk to him about this...esp if you are 9 months pregnant, he needs to help you with your little one.
Is there any way to find a babysitter for your one year old, and go out and talk about this in private?
Some men just dont get it, it doesnt mean he is not happy with you or anything like that, it just means he isnt putting his priorities first in life.
Just talk to him, that is really all you can do right now, let him know how much it hurts you.
Think back to when you were dating and go places, that he liked to go, or do things he liked to do..anything to throw that spark back in the marriage.
Im sure he loves you, some guys, just like hanging out with the guys...
He should respect you...vice versa
2007-02-03 04:08:38 · answer #5 · answered by ~Annette~ 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right.It's a disgrace and any normal dad would love to spend time with his kids.
The time for buddies was before marriage-o.k the odd time going to the bar for a drink with the lads is a different matter.We guys all need that just as you like a girls night out every now and then.
What you do?
next weekend you get up early and go missing for the day (visit a friend or take yourself off to the shops) and before he's awake.
That'll give him an entire day to learn what it's like being 'home alone'.
Good Luck
2007-02-03 04:01:26 · answer #6 · answered by bearbrain 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He sounds rather immature. He has a family and family should come first.
Talk to him and come up with a compromise. Since he's such a kid he's going to balk but too bad. Insist that he give you at least one entire day on the weekend. Let him have some time with his buds but DON'T let him con you out of more than that. Insist that he be the husband and daddy you both deserve.
2007-02-03 04:00:38 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope not my husband ... He loves to spend his time with us on the weekends and i love him for it! If he does not want to be with you then you make some new girlfriends to hang out with and do fun things with. Yes i definitley see the selfishness here... Ask him if he could have his friends over to the house at times so that he is home some as well. Tell him how this bothers you and be honest with him about it.
2007-02-03 03:58:51 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's doing it because although you've expressed being upset - he thinks you just *have* to deal with it because he's taking you for granted. You can't change what he does - but you can change you you react to it. Try getting up, going about your business and taking your daughter somewhere without asking him to go. I'm sure after a few times of this he'll wonder where that "loving feeling" went and ask you about it.
2007-02-03 03:59:36 · answer #9 · answered by karespromise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I was married to a man just like that. All he wanted to do was hang with his single brother and friends. Yeah, I felt just like married but single. So I decided that since he wanted to be with his friends then he could be with them forever because he wasn't do much for me or the kids. Try to continue to talk to your husband about this. You might need to seek marital counseling. Good luck.
2007-02-03 04:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋