How do I get my fiance to get a job without feeling like his mom?

Question

I don't want to offend him or make him mad. He has a temper. He has been out of work for a month now. His family is helping with his half of the bills, but it seems like he isn't bustinf as much a** as he should. There is no reason why he shouldn't be out filling out applications and things. When I get home from work he is still in his PJs and the kitchen is full of dirty dishes. Whats the deal? Why do people do that? I know girls do it too. Is he depressed? I would obviously talk to him- but like I said- when I bring it up..he gets pissy and says "I KNOW I NEED A JOB TIA. LEAVE ME THE F*CK ALONE" .. bah- I dont know what to do. I love him, but d*mn.

Answer 1

I'm reading a whole lot of red flags here, and I hope as you re-read your post, you can see them, too.

1. "He has a temper." This is never a good sign. If a man cannot control his temper now, how is he going to deal with the ups and downs of married life? A bad temper is a terrible thing and generally gets worse instead of better.

2. "His family is helping with his half of the bills." So he's relying on Mommy and Daddy to bail him out. What kind of immature moocher is this guy?

3. He swears at you when you try to help. There is absolutely, positively NO excuse for your fiance to use the f-word with you. It is rude and shows a complete lack of respect.

My advice: Tell him to shape up or ship out. Do you REALLY want to spend the rest of your life with a loser like him?