how do you express negative emotion without harming anyone?

Answer 1

you just tell him how you fell tactful.

Answer 2

1. Make expressing the emotions about how YOU are feeling, rather than accusing or criticizing the other person. You may hear therapists refer to this as "I"-Statements. "When I see you do..., I feel ..." rather than "you are such a ... you're always doing..."

2. Express your emotions in a calm manner. Choose a time when your own emotions are not overwhelming you, so that expressing your emotions this way will be easier.

3. Allow the other person to express their own feelings. Even if they don't speak to you the way you are trying to speak to them, just listen calmly and keep persisting with your calm, self-focused statements. If they are showing negative emotions, try to offer empathy - something to show that you understand how they are feeling. This often helps to diffuse a tense, emotionally-charged situation.


HOWEVER, keep in mind that you really can't control other people's feelings and actions. After you've conducted yourself in the most constructive way possible, the person your communicating to may still be upset. Remind yourself that you are not responsible for this - it's up to the other person now to take control of him/herself.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

You can try what is known as a sandwich comment. It is where you start with a positive statement, then bring up the negative emotion, and then finish with a positive statement. Even if you are hurt, there should be something positive you can bring up when talking to a person.

Answer 4

Everyone in Kindergarden learns... "Use your words." But most kids just punch you instead...

Because that's easier said than done for some... (myself included.)

There are always going to be idiots around you whose sole purpose in their miserable little lives is to get you in a state and position where your morals and beliefs are all compromised as a result of their goading you into a submissive state. This is how they win, this is how they believe they harm you. These are intellectual bullies who go around always offended by this or that (usually the truth of their own condition) believing that they are better than everyone by knocking them. (Which I have also been guilty of myself at times as a counter to the comment above.)

Which proves that sometimes, "If you can't beat um, join um." Is completely incorrect.

The only way to counter their goal and purpose is to always understand... We learn by our mistakes and our outbursts. We learn by harming... So I guess each in our own way, we are all trying for the same goal. Just going about it differently.

personally, I would much rather be on the learning end of that spectrum than the goading side. But I have never been afraid of making a jerk out of myself to live as either an example or a catalyst.

I would rather look like a raving loon in the learning process, than the kind of deliberate, calculated as*shole that exists to trip people up in their personal process of evolution... any day!

Sometimes being better than, is not actually better and...

"There is no sense in being an as*shole if you can't prove it."

Answer 5

One time I chose to process my anger by purchaseing an entire set of china for next to nothing at my local flea market simply to smash every piece of it on my driveway. Hey, if it feels good do it....well, sometimes.

Showing anger (or other degrees of negative emotions) in healthy ways is said to be healing by most relationship experts.

If there was a golden rule I would say it is to avoid the use of, "YOU Statements" (ie: YOU make me angry; YOU are so rude to people; YOU don't even know what you are talking about).

How we say what we feel can be as important as what we say. Try saying, "I am feeling anger at the moment; I have a feeling that other people may experience this approach as rudeness; I am not feeling certain about what I heard you say; I am just not sure if it is right; or I feel this is wrong."

Negative emotions are just that, NEGATIVE...at least at first. If they are expressed in a socially acceptable way they almost always have a positive side to them when others have the appropriate opportunity to get to know us better or to learn from their enriched experiences.

Along the way, many people who are in the business of raising or guiding us (parents, teachers, ministers, public officials, etc.) may influence us in such ways that we are left feeling regret for expressing negative emotions and so goes the process of conformity. If our leaders are doing their best they would also teach us how to express negative emotions in purposeful, more effective ways and at the best possible times. This approach would better serve us as we work to accomplish our other goals whatever they may be.

Sometimes the best time to say or do something that is an expression of the negative way that we feel is early in the day or when a member of our group (family, friend, coworker or a loved one) is best able to process our expression that is loaded with negative emotion. There is a potential for one person's negativity to spread when others aren't alert to their own feelings and level of stablility. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are to blame if there is fall-out when what you did was the right or best thing to do.

In some instances, maintaining a personafication of our self is important and there just isn't a lot of room for negative reality, (ie. when we are involved in customer service).

In the end, saying how we really feel is vital and healthy. Being real increases or adds to the authenticity and depth of our relationships. Going ahead with our lives by letting go of the past has the key component of selecting effective ways to process negativity. The flip side of this is that if we don't learn more effective ways to process negativity, we run the risk of developing a crippling resentment.

One important tool I use to effectively accomplish the processing of negative emotion is a written or electronic diary. I can write mean and nasty letters into them if I want and if I'm careful about it, nobody has to know, or should know. BTW, take this approach and you won't end up with a bunch of broken dishes on your drive!

Later, after I have given myself enough time to emote and sort things out, and I achieve a better understanding of what I want, need or should avoid, I can take measured steps in the direction of selecting and sending out the most effective expressions of how I feel.

So what about spontaneity? We can save that for another discussion unless of coarse, you're being stalked by a mountain lion. :)

Answer 6

Every negative emotion harms others, except those "transparent" people with no self to harm.

Answer 7

Very calmly. They won't listen if your yelling. I have found speaking just above a whisper to be very effective. They have to strain to hear you and that means they're listening (besides yelling at them will put them on the defensive). Also plan out what you want to say and how you are going to say it. It's very frustrating to try to express yourself and not have the words to do it. Think first then act. Hope this helps.

Answer 8

work out. any exercise can help especially the tough ones. and actually u can exercise better when you're angry (u feel u have more energy)

second thing u must do is that u must always remind yourself that harming anyone is a bad thing to do and no good will come out of it and that you will regret it later and that this is just a temporary stupid angry period that will pass and you will return to normal.

Answer 9

Scream into a pillow, hit a bat against the bed, engage in a vigorous workout

Answer 10

The best thing to do is to write a letter to get your feelings out, and then throw it away. Getting it out on paper is a release, and no one gets hurt that way. I do this when I am feeling ovewhelmed.

Answer 11

video games (little bit)
exercise (medium)
sports (big help)
boxing, tackle football, wrestling sport (best help)