How do parents adjust?

Question

The other day I was reading a question on daycares and it really hit me, when Im ready to go back to work, my child will be in the care of strangers for at least 8 hours a day. How do parents adjust? I just can't imagine being away from my child that long and letting someone else basically raise my daugther. I just feel that once I send her off to day care, I will be basically giving my child to someone to raise, and I am just being a parttime mom. Its really bothering me, how do other parents adjust to this? Is there any other way to think of it? I know I could do part time, but it still the same feeling, and of course theres not going back at all, but I mean for those parents that do go back to work, how did you feel leaving baby for someone to raise?

Answer 1

If you feel that strongly about this then look at your options...do you have trustworthy family that could pitch in a couple days a week instead of a stranger? Do you really need to go back to work? I say this because day care is so expensive these days and sometimes you work your but off just to pay for day care. Is it worth it for you? Try cutting back on some costly things you can do with out so that your chances are better for staying at home and then YOU can experience the joys of all the firsts things your baby does. If you just have to send your baby off to day care then pack a camera so that they can try to capture all of these precious moments. Pray about your decision and everything will turn out great! Good luck and Best wishes!

Answer 2

I went back to work after my twins were born only 2 1/2 days a week. This worked out great for me. I got to get out and work but still spend plenty of time with them. I interviewed both home daycare and schools and decided on a school because I got a better gut feeling about the place that I put them in. It was really hard and when I was at work I worried and was constantly thinking about what they were doing. Finally when they were two I ended up quitting my job because I really wanted to be home with them and they were always getting sick. It is a hard decision because once you quit you have a harder time getting back into the work force and making the same salary that you were making. I would still say staying home was the best decision for me because you can never get back those years. Good luck whatever you do you are still a good mom, you will make the right choice for you.

Answer 3

Hi- I have a 6 month old, and feel so very blessed and lucky that I don't have to work. I really feel for you! I babysit for a woman with 14 month old twins, and she told me that it was really hard at first, but after about a week she and her babies got in to a routine, and it made it easier once everyone was used to the changes. DOn't think for a moment that someone else will be raising your child- they are merely a caregiver. Your baby knows who her mommy is, and no one will EVER take your place, and she will just be killing time until the center of her world gets home! You are doing the best thing for your baby, and being extremely unselfish by going back to work to earn a good living for you two. Hang in there, hon, you'll be fine!

Answer 4

I had family watch my son when he was first born. I so wish I put him straight into daycare. He is delayed in his speech and now that I'm trying to get him into daycare, it's a hard adjustment for him. He's used to it being completely quiet for naptime, so he won't sleep in daycare. I felt the same way you did, so that's why I got family to watch him. It would have been hard to put him in right after he was born, but I wish I had done that, it would be so much easier on him then. He's two now and loves to play with other children, just won't nap during daycare. He loves it too.... get's all excited and waves to the building when we pull up. So I know he likes it, it's just harder on me now, knowing he's not sleeping. Does that make any sense?

I am pregnant now with baby #2 and already have this baby on the waiting list. I'm not doing this again to myself or my baby. I want them to get used to it when it's easier on them.

Everyone is different and whatever decision you make, will be the right one for you and your baby. No one else can tell you what's right for you. I wish you luck and something to put your mind at ease. Congrats.

Answer 5

I'm a stay-home mom now and love it, but it's not for everyone. If you do put your daughter in care, you're not abandoning her, you're expanding her horizons. You're giving someone else the opportunity to know and love this wonderful person, and allowing her the experince of knowing that many people care for her and want what's best for her- not just mom. You're giving yourself the chance to pursue things that interest you (hopefully), learning how to find balance in your life, and coming home ready for a dose of baby cuteness- you'll appreciate the time you spend with your daughter more when you're not with her all day.

I worked with babies in daycare for a while, and we helped parents adjust by caring for the kids like we'd want our own kids cared for. I cared deeply for every baby I watched and did my best daily to ensure they were happy and learning.

All in all, it's up to you. There are pros and cons for any situation and I wish you and your baby the best!

Answer 6

I know its very hard to give your kids to strangers to raise. Why don't you consider your own mother or your in-laws to take care of the baby. In that case you will feel better. I am sure there will be someone in the family who is not working and can look after the baby.

Answer 7

Putting your child in daycare certainly is an adjustment..........you really have to do some work in finding a good reliable daycare........I had a horrible experiance with a day care and then I did my homework and found the best daycare provider ever.........when searching for the best for you and your child ask your self these questions...........what do they do with your child during its stay........place in front of tv or play games or teach..........what is the number of kids they take care of.........who do they have for assistents.............take some time and visit the day care and ask questions of the other parents.........if you do your homework and feel comfortable and your child feels comfortable and the provider feels comfortable you can rest assured! good luck!

Answer 8

i was very blessed to have help from my family. they watched my son till he was about 4 years old. then my mom got a job during the day and i had to put him into daycare. i hated every minute of it and couldnt stand him being there. i eventually just took him out and had family and friends watch him. he did a lot of flip flopping around. but in the end it really helped his social skills and how to act around adults and respecting other peoples things and their houses. now he is in Kindergarten and he the most polite kids in the class. his teacher is always sending me notes home thanking me for having such a gentleman. good luck

Answer 9

That is exactly why I could not go back to work. We struggled financially, even had to move to a less expensive home, but I feel the difficulty was worth it. A child shouldn't spend the majority of his waking hours with someone who doesn't love him more than life itself.

Answer 10

it takes some getting used too. it is good for the child to be with others besides u. pick a good daycare that is like preschool so that when she is old enough she can be taught/ my son is 3 1/2 yrs old & he has learned amazing things at his daycare. unfortunately i had to remove him due to me moving to get a divorce.