lets say you hated your husband for years and years, litteraly could not stand any waking day with him, and he made your life miserable, but you kept it inside just to have your family remain together, and from his drug use, needed a liver transplant that would cost tens of thousands of dollars ... would it be immoral to leave and divorce him before so your behind is not stuck paying all his bills and debt when he is either dead or done with the sugeries.?
2007-02-03 03:21:16 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he is abusive, i am like a prisnor, very unhappy, i just stayed because i was working my way through school, i know finally in life have almost reached my dream, since he was holding me back from working for many years... so... its like i finally will be making money for the first time since he let me, and now this, like, all my torture and work will go for his bills because he has drug issues and abuses me with them,..so
2007-02-03 03:37:59 · update #1
Who cares if it's immoral?!?! You and your kids, if there are any, deserve to have a happier life than that.
2007-02-03 03:46:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ashley420,
I feel for you! I would say if he was not abusive in the marriage it would be immoral to leave him whether he was drug addict or not but when you said that he was abusive all bets are off. I do not care if he has a drug addiction or not the fact he f_cked up his life (his body and mind) while you were trying to make yours. Get a attorney (divorce) and go through with it before you are stuck with his bills. Good luck to you on your future and may god bless you in your time of need. Be strong and don't look back I know there is happiness out there for you.
2007-02-03 12:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by beamer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you are miserable then that is YOUR fault, not his. you CAN get out of the marriage and yet YOU have chosen to stay in it. If you divorce him and the groundwork for the transplant has already taken place then you will be at least 50% liable for the bills that come with it as it was being planned BEFORE the diivrce. ANY bills that come in BEFORE a divorce no matter which one of you created them are "marital property" and you BOTH are liable to pay them, frankly I believe in this case that YES it would be very immoral since you are the one who CHOSE to stay in the marriage for years and years rather than get out before the transplant was needed. Again the only one to blame here is YOU and not your husband.
2007-02-03 11:50:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I don't think so, because IF he truly has done this physical damage to himself, you really haven't had a real marriage for a long time. Your husband chose to use drugs, and chose to continue using, even as he developed problems. He decided drugs were more important than health. When he stopped valuing himself, it was impossible for him to value you or your marriage. We often remain in marriages, long past time time when the marriage is dead in all but a legal way. A marriage ends when trust, respect, and love is gone, and even the inclination to attempt to fix or salvage the relationship is lacking. It WOULD be immoral if the reason was just the physical problem, but, if that's just the last straw, then it is just ending what's already ended.
2007-02-03 11:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you hate him so? Have you tried counseling? Could this actually be the one thing that reconnects you and brings you closer? It's hard to understand your situation, not knowing why you hate him, and if you've tried other avenues to make things better. Divorcing now would of course be the worst time for him, he will need your help (not only financially, but emotionally and physically). The fact you've stayed with him when you hate him makes me think you have a big heart, so you would have to ask yourself if you did leave him at a time when he needs you most, would you feel guilty, and could you live with that guilt? Not sure of your kids either, are they at an age where it would make sense to see their dad in such pain, and their mom leave him? Hang in there, pray about it, and get counseling. Best of luck.
2007-02-03 11:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes this would be immoral and wrong.. You never should hate your husband like this... At least out of respect and common decency you should not leave him through this time. Till death do you part remember? If you were the one that needed the surgery and the help would you want him to leave you and abandoned you during this time or would you want him to support and help you through it? Treat him the way that you would want to be treated! If you hate him so much why have you not divorced him before now and now that he is sick and needing help you are finally asking for help! Kinda late in the stage dont ya think?
2007-02-03 11:28:45 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is entirely up to you what your marriage can survive. And Yes, it is immoral. But that does not mean you can not look out for yourself. Don't also hold him solely responsible for the break up of your marriage. Except that both of you made wrong choices and that both were contributing factors. Nothing is worse than when a spouse is so bitter that they fail to see how their actions caused a reaction. Except your contributions even if he refuses to except his. And if you do decide to leave, walk out with your head held high and no resentment. If it is over do not go and bad mouth him to others. We all have weaknesses...no need to broadcast his so that you look like the victim.
2007-02-03 11:34:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to honestly say that if I was in your shoes, I would leave. I would have done it sooner than you have, but if you have had these feelings for this long, you should leave....better late , than never. Once you leave, you need to talk to a professional, and work through your anger issues, and the resentment you have for him. You have cheated yourself for many years, and staying on is not going to provide the relief you need. Not immoral in my opinion......sensible decision!
2007-02-03 11:31:40 · answer #8 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you must have stay for other reasons than what you have giving
since youstated that you stay for the children (family remain together) so why not stay until he get better and left (for the family)
I know that it mean you have to occur some of the bill
but I am prety sure that you two must have insurance
so hang in there a little longer
Good luck
2007-02-03 12:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not immoral since it doesn't make you commit one of the seven deadly sins. You are breaking your wedding vows, "To love, honor, and obey in sickness and in health - for richer or poorer - as long as ye both shall live." If you are Catholic you may have a problem. Otherwise kiss his sorry a** goodbye.
2007-02-03 11:32:14 · answer #10 · answered by green3ch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce. Your life will be so much better without a man using drugs. Leave him before its too late.
2007-02-03 11:39:49 · answer #11 · answered by Feetjie009 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋