Is this an excuse for working women? " They work and dont have time to cook and look after children"

Question

then why the hell you got married and established a family?

Answer 1

I think so. I think it's stupid. Why should a woman have to work? Sorry I'm one of those few traditional women who sticks to natural role of being a house wife and my husband's the one who provides for us.

Answer 2

Because the implication, really the POINT of marriage is that both people share their lives equally. If both parents work, it should not only be the womans job to cook and care for the children. I know from my own parents that when the mother does most of the cooking, cleaning, and child-raising it causes almost unbelievable strain on the marriage, and from there on the entire family.

When both parents work, it is both parents job to raise the kids, cook, and take care of the house. It is sexism to say that the woman has no excuse to not take care of the children, because the man has no excuse to not care for them either.

Single parents have the worst burden, because they have to be the sole provider and the sole caretaker.

So.... basically, yes, it is an excuse for not oding ALL of te cooking and child-raising. Work is not an excuse to not do ANY of it, unless you work 16 or more hours a day, and even then you should be able to do some tiny part.

Answer 3

Newsflash - not all working women are married. I adopted my daughter as a single mother when she was two years old. I would have liked to have been married when I became a parent, but there seems to be a bit of a shortage of men out there I would have considered good husband material.

Getting to your question though, I believe when both the husband and the wife in a married couple work, it is the responsibility of BOTH to look after the children, not just the wife. If I were married, nothing would tick me off more than working hard all day, then having my husband, who I'm sure also worked hard all day, come home and just sit around while I try to get dinner together and tend to our children.

I'm not sure where you live, but some married women work out of necessity, not because they want to. Other married women work because they need to feel some sense of control and independence in their lives. If I were married, I would work, even if I didn't have to. With the divorce rate what it is these days, I would never want to have that "what am I going to do now?" feeling if my husband came home one day and said he wanted a divorce. I need to feel some degree of control over my financial destiny, rather than just leave it up to a man to "take care of me". If we never ended up divorcing, my additional income would mean more money for college and retirement.

I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but we're not living in the dark ages anymore. In the US anyway, it's not up to just women to cook and look after the children. It's called being a wife and mother, not a slave.

I notice that someone here has voted a "thumbs down" to all the answers that don't agree with the obvious views of the person who posted the question. Thumbs down or not, you're still in the dark ages. The days of "keep them barefoot and pregnant" are a thing of the past. Women not only make excellent mothers, we also make excellent members of the board, and fullfill many other roles successfully. In essence, we can pretty much run rings around the average male. Get over it.

Answer 4

Dear Andromeda,
Is this a real question and is this the appreciation women are given for helping their husband provide? Are you telling us that you are not grateful that she has done so much for you? Do you not appreciate even the children she bore for you? I guess you do not hold her in very high esteem.

You are a man - with larger lungs, muscles, bone density, heart, etc, isn't that right? Then perhaps you can relieve her of some of the burden she is carrying - and take better care of your wife.

It sounds as if she is already doing 'much more' for you than she probably should be. I feel really sorry for her since you sound like an unkind man.

Oh and I guess it would be pointless to ask if you have thanked her lately? After all you seem to be unable to provide adequately, but she is helping you to do your job. Sounds like she deserves a lot better than a husband like you.

Answer 5

Generalizations again. This is getting boring.

Not all women who work behave in the way you imagine. Not all women like to cook and parenting seems to be a two-person job. Just in case you're confused about this, one of those people is the father.

Answer 6

If you're married, and have children..assuming a husband/father figure is around, why should all of that be the responsibility of the women? I don't know if you know or not, but this is 2007, not 1950. In the real world women have careers and don't always stay home to care for the house and the kids.

If you have a family with someone, the responsibilites should be shared equally.

Try not to be so closed-minded, will ya?

Answer 7

Nope. I worked full time while pregnant and looking after my two year old while my husband was deployed. I came home every night after work and cooked for my in-laws, who worked more than I did.I don't think women should spit excuses - it might be hard, but it's what you do for the family you love.

Answer 8

Wow. It continues to amaze me that there is always sometimes to attack women about on this site (and yet I just don't ever see people attacking men the way they attack women).....

When woman stay home to raise their children they are attacked for not having "more ambition" or even for being "lazy". When they work they are attacked for not cooking and for having someone else babysit their children while they work!!

It is entirely possible for a woman to work and still raise her children because people who watch them during the day are not raising them - they're just babysitting them (and there is a difference, although many men lack the knowledge of what goes into building emotional wellbeing and intellect so don't realize that there is a difference between "babysitting" and "parenting".

The fact that they may not want to spend a couple of hours cooking when there are baths to get done and homework to help with or just talking to their children to be done is not an excuse. It is a reality that there isn't a whole lot of time to spend cooking when a woman works. In fact, when a woman devotes her attention to her children in the afternoon she may not want to instead devote her attention to cooking either, and she should be respect for that as well. A lot of people in this day and age of being able to get quick but nutritious food (and I don't mean McDonalds; some of the healthiest foods require little cooking) just don't want to devote what little time they have to cooking in view of the fact that they didn't choose a career as a chef or a cook and in view of the fact that there are more important things for anyone (but especially a working mother) to do with her time.

The way I see it (and the way my working friends with or without young children see it) is if someone wants "cooking" they should cook for themself, hire a cook, or else go to a restaurant where "cooking" is served.

Why the hell - when two people work - should the woman be expected to also cook and raise the children and clean the house and hire the lawn guy and get the car to the repair shop and get the dog to the vet and get the kids to the pediatrican etc. etc.?!!

And why the hell - when women's income is sometimes the thing that either allows them to have a place to live or else contributes to a decent lifestyle, and when a woman who works and is an excellent parent too is a good role model for her children, and when some women do stay home while their children are preschoolers but work once children are in school, and when "doing it all" means essentially working double shifts and sleeping five hours - should anyone think that woman is not a good enough mother?

All people look at their life and try to figure out what a life ought to have in order to be the best life it can be for themselves and their children. Many working women believe that one of the best things they can do for that family they went ahead and established is to bring to it what a working mother brings in terms of income and/or example of accomplishment and/or a sometimes more "whole". Women who work do have to make some sacrifices to be able to work, but women who stay home and have children often sacrifice another part of their dream for their own life as well. Men who "establish families" work without being questionned as to why they went ahead and had children. Why the hell is that? Why the hell don't men do a little more to make the lives of their working wives a little easier? Why the hell don't a few men cook up a few meals once in while?

Why the hell is it when a woman stays home with her children she is attacked by anyone who sees staying home as being lazy or having no interests rather than being seen as someone who has given up a whole lot of her own, personal, ambitions/dreams to be with her children? And why the hell is it that the woman who works out of either necessity or a belief that she can give her children more (not just material-wise) by working is attacked because some people's opinion (wrong or not) is that no woman who has children should have had them if she knew she would be wanting to commit the crime of working?

I had a stay-at-home mother who cooked the big, meat-and-potatos meal every night and an even bigger one on Sundays. You know what? She started those weekday dinners at around 3:30 in the afternoon and was still cleaning the mess up around 7:00 p.m. As children, my siblings and I didn't want meat and potatos; and my father died of a heart attack (associated with cholesterol) at 62 years old.

So, if today's mother (working or otherwise) heats up some vegetables and some form of protein in the microwave and puts the dishes in the dishwasher so she has more time to spend with her children (or and maybe even husband) she just may be doing what is best for her family and shouldn't be questionned or criticized over it just because certain people care a little more about the joy of eating than they ought to.

Answer 9

I am a working woman with 2 grown daughters now. When I had our oldest daughter, I quit working so that I could stay home with her. When she was 5 and going into kindergarten, I went back to work. I didn't really WANT to go back since we still had a 3 year old at home. But we were going to buy a house so I had to go back to work to help make the payments, pay bills, buy groceries, etc, etc. My husband had said that he would help with the girls, house cleaning, cooking, etc,etc. We worked different shifts so this worked out well as far as not having to take the girls to a sitter. But my husband would feed the girls breakfast, take the oldest to school, come home & go back to bed!! If our 3 year old didn't go back to bed, she watched TV untill I got home around 2 with the oldest who got home around 12:30. My husband would then get up, shower/shave/dress & go to work. Leaving me with the house to clean up, dishes to wash, laundry, supper to fix while caring for both girls. In two years both girls were in school so after he fed them breakfast & took them to school, he came home & did not do a da_n thing to help out. Marriage is suppose to be a partner-ship with both people working together!! Yes he got both girls up, dressed, fed & off to school while I was at work. BUT then I get home to clean up the messes they all 3 made while I was working, plus care for the girls & everything else while he is at work.
So my answer to your question is no, it is not an excuse so much as a cry for help. So be a PARTNER and help her out!!!

Answer 10

I would echo the ones who say that you are just as capable of looking after the family as she is.

But I think you're just trying to get people riled up. And I'm ashamed that most of the other answerers weren't keen enough to see that.