My best friend of 8 years and I are no longer best friends, should I try to fix it or leave it?

Question

My best friend of 8 years was in an argument with a mutual friend of mine. A frivoulous argument over who called who ... very immature, and I chose to stay out of it. We are in our mid 20s and I found this immature. I invited my friend to a get together of mine, and my best friend was furious! I did not do this to make her angry, I really didn't think twice about inviting my other friend because I am grown and can be friends with whomever I choose. This get together was not one at which my best friend would be at anyways for other reasons. My best friend began sending me all of these mean emails, and even called my boyfriend and started telling him EVERY secret I had just about ever told her...some of them about him. That completly broke the trust I had in her. I haven't spoken her since this happened about 4 months ago. Recently she located me on MySpace and started sending me messages, pretending to be someone from my past that I had a problem with and she knew about. Dump her?

Answer 1

Dump her, she isnt worth it. It wasnt your fault she got into it with another friend of yours. You were just unfortunate enough to be stuck in the middle. She isnt a friend, a real friend would understand that you dont have any bad feelings for this other person even if she does. Block her from your myspace and dont answer her messages. She'll get the hint.

Answer 2

You/ve just found out the hard way what a best friend isn't. It takes a mean, coniving, immature, selfish, and spiteful person to do what she's done. She's never been anyone's best friend. You're better off without this girl in your life. Just let things stay as they are. Do not try and make contact with her. When your paths cross, politely speak and keep going. Do not try to have any kind of friendship because what you're looking for in a friend, this girl doesnot have to offer. One day she'll look back and realize what a great friend she lost because of her immaturity and selfishness. Chalk this up to experience. In the furture, becareful who you trust and confide in. If a person tells someone else's secrets, they'll tell yours. If they can't get along with others, it's just a matter of time before they have a big blow up with you and hurt your feelings. If someone is immature, they will be immature with you. Test the waters before you confide in someone. If people gets involved in, "He say, she say", they will have you involved also. This girl dumped you long ago, so move on without her.

Answer 3

The best thing you are trying to do - is to find more wisdom to regulate your relationships. Instead of just negative thinking about your best friend, think that you share responsibility for what happened to friendship! At first this simple truth may sound not convenient to digest, but further it will give you a wonderful feeling that, if it depends on you as well, you can act and create a better relationship. You lost your best friend? shift the emphasis in this line to the subject......then it's sad, isn't it? It looks like she is also sorry and makes some efforts to revive what bound you together for a long time, but was unfortunately lost... Don't blame her only....Don't blame anybody at any time.... we are not bad or good - just different! I do hope, Littleangle, that through this lesson of friendship you both will grow a little more mature and show more understanding in your future beautiful relationships.

Answer 4

Its too sad that after 8 years of friendship she would act that way and give u up for such an immature dispute... what's even worse is the way she reacted, a TRUE friend would never give out her friend's secret, it is simply a crime in the name of friendship...
In my opinion, u should not try to contact her at all, unless she shows up and expresses her regret and apology, only then u can be just distant friends but u should never trust her again, what she did is unforgivable...
I hope she didn't cause u much trouble with your boyfriend
P.S. never trust anyone, anyone can choose to betray at certain points of time, unless it is a sister/brother or father/mother

Answer 5

I love my best friend of 20 years to death....more like a sister anyway, we have worked through may spats over the years....some bigger then others, I think the longest was maybe 10 months.....we are both always really miserable...and pining away for each other!!! Things have changed in the last 5 years....we both have gotten married....now our hubbies are best buds and they try to play peace makers!!! Very cute!!! Anyway it sounds like you are more mature than your friend, that can be a hard hurdle to cross....if you want to be in her life.....lay it out for her......tell her that she is a valued friend but what she is doing is basically emotional blackmail. If she loves you she will make an effort to curve her ways....the older you get...the less of a chance you have to make life long friends....and you cant go back and make friends from childhood...this in it self makes your friendship worth fighting for!!! Good luck!

Answer 6

even if you become friends again she will never be some one that you can consider a close friend let alone being your best friend......the trust will never be there again.....i know from experience.......and judging by her actions i would just ignore her.....she sounds like she has a LOT of growing up to do.......if you want to be friends talk to her and find out why she was so mad and explain why you did what you did.....but always keep your distance (by that i mean don't tell her secrets or stuff that you wouldn't tell just someone you know)......remember you've seen her true colors......

Answer 7

This best friend of yours sounds like a erupting volcanco. She sounds like she has been badly hurt by this agrument and your handling of it. Maybe she was hoping that you would be more supportive of her with this agrument with this other friend of yours. You chose not to take sides, obviously she was not happy with your decision. You say you felt the agument immature, but obviously it was very deeply felt by your friend. Sometimes what seems frivolous to us may be a thing of grave importance to someone else. Some people are very lack-a-daisy when others say anything against their reputation and honor.. But I know those that love peace at all cost, but will not take slander be spread against their or their families reputation or honor. Slander is a serious crime, so there is nothing frivolous about it. You cannot slander a person's reputation or businesses good name just because you feel like it and spread awful rumors. So what seemed frivolous and immature to you could have been a very delicate and serious matter to your friend. Only you as a friend could have known how serious she felt about the name calling and you could have said something to the effect that you would not tolerate any friend of yours bad-mouth someone you cared for. Sometimes it is better to voice an opinion then say I wish not to take sides, so that the parties involved do not feel betrayed by you or that you come out seeming as an uncaring person. Also you say that you did not wish to take sides, but voicing that you thought the agrument immature you have done something worst, you have gone and judged the agrument and if your friend felt that you had already judged the agruement as immature she could have felt very much betrayed by you. It was not up to you to judge the maturity of the agrument, if you were not wanting to take sides. This makes for suspision and bad feelings to foster, like why did my best friend not take my side. So your decision had her feeling betrayed and then to find this other person at this get-to-gether of yours, just sent her off the wall..I can't blame her. I think your best friend was very very deeply hurt by how you handled things, even though you say you did not invite this other friend to make your best friend angry. You defend yourself that your are grown and can be friends with whomever you choose, but to be a good friend you must also show respect, compassion and caring for your friends. You must be thoughtful how the other person feels. No one is going to take away your rights on who to invite to your get-togethers, but a little consideration for your friend would have helped. It seemed you did not give a thought to how she would feel and if you did, it was like, it's my get-together, and I will do what I wish, and if anyone don't like it too bad. You should have let your best friend know you were inviting this other individual that had caused her so much hurt and let her decide weather to come or not... You not showing her this much consideration, because you judged the whole thing immature was very inconsiderate. As a friend she deserved more consideration and attention from you, her best friend.
Your best friend has gone over the edge now, hurt can foster resentment and bad feelings. She has done things she would never have done to you before. You say she has broken your trust in her in what she has said to your boyfriend. I guess she felt her trust in you broken when you did not take her side and invited this other friend to your get-together.
I would seriously thing this thing over carely if I were you and try to think of where you went wrong and how you could have handled this situation more careful. When you have thought this over carefully and seen her side of the story and felt her hurt and betrayel, maybe you can then email her or write her a letter and apologize for how things turned out. This should help her to see the wrong she has commited against you and how her actions have been uncalled for and now how she now she has turned her bitterness to distruction and malice and hate. I pray she listens to you. A good friend of 8 years is not a easy thing to find. Good Luck and may the two of you find peace and reconciliation but only time will tell. God Bless.

Answer 8

AM SORRY BUT WITH FRIENDS LIKE THAT WHIO NEEDS ENEMIES.

YOU MY FRIEND SHOULD DROP HER LIKE A HAT. SHE IS NO FRIEND OF YOURS AND ACTING LIKE A CHILD DOES NOT HELP. IF SHE WAS A TRUE FRIEND OF COURSE SHE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN UPSET OVER THE FACT THAT YOU INVITED YOUR OTHER FRIEND AND NOT HER TO AN OUTING. BUT STILL IS TRUE YOU AS AN ADULT CAN CHOOSE WHOM YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR AFTER NOON. SHE SHOULD HAVE RESPECTED THAT BUT DIDNT INSTEAD SHE CHOOSE TO BRAKE ALL TIES BY TELLING YOUR B/F ALL SECRETS AND THAT IS NO WAY COOL.

TRUST WORKS BOTH WAY, IF YOU CAN NOT TRUST HER THEN THERE IS NO FRIENDSHIP NO MATTER HOW LONG YOUR FRIENDSHIP WAS.

Answer 9

Let sleeping dogs lie! People come into your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Maybe her reason was to teach you who to trust and who not to. Move on and let her grow up if she can.

Answer 10

She may need profesional help.She has been affected by this for some reason deeper than the frivolus figth.Recomend her visiting a doc.