He and I have dated for 5 yrs and he caters to his kids who are all adults. He is 54 and they are all married and have families. He says we cannot get married because I dont get along with his kids. They treat me like crap. They cannot shut up about his ex wife and I would be money on it that her name will come up and they will want to discuss her in some way. Its really aggrivating and I am sick of it. She is re married and he continues to try to satisfy their relationship with this woman who clearly has moved on. I took his mother and him out for his birthday dinner which cost me a fortune, and she ends up discussing the ex. She is in the past. I dont understand why they cannot move on past her. I have dated before and never seen anything like this. His 26 yr old daughter stayed at his house for about a yr and kept inviting this ex over and chumming with her. I think I should avoid them all. What do you think? Its hopeless. This ex is not the mother of his children.
2007-02-03 02:40:59 · 12 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like you want to erase the history of this family. It isn't going to happen. Know that when you hook up with a 54 year old, he's gonna have baggage. Kids, ex's, etc. can't be wished away.
If it's marriage you're looking for, I think you'd better look elsewhere. This guys has already said he won't marry you because of his kids. But his kids are going to (likely) out-live him so why are you wasting your time?
You sound very defensive about his ex. Although she is not the bio mother to the kids, she's held in high esteem and has been an important part of this family's lives.
Either you're going to have to accept this or move on.
The fact that she continues to have contact with kids that are not her bio kids shows real concern and caring on her part. You said it yourself, "It's hopeless".
2007-02-03 02:56:32 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave this relationship five years of your life, he is now fifty four and will not change, his kids treat you like this because they know he will not put then in there place, and if he will not marry you , the status of WIFE is denied to you and all the obvious respect that goes with it. My partner is fifty, I am 36, he has three children from a previous marriage ages 18, 23, 25.
He and I will be married next year and his kids know that like it or not, I am their father's fiance and future wife.
Make sure you do not put yourself in any situation from here on in that will degrade you in any way, if he and his bazaar family has no respect for you, have enough respect for yourself to terminate this and find someone better, and with less baggage.
2007-02-03 02:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still in the relationship? Can't you find a real man who can put his ex and children aside to devote his energy on you? You may not be the most wonderful person (since even his own mother prefers his ex over you) to be around, but you still deserve better than this man.
One of you is just too needy. Is it you? If so, learn to have more respect for yourself. Get out of this one as fast as you possibly can.
2007-02-03 03:29:02 · answer #3 · answered by Lois M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like the relationship is quite a headache. I am sorry, but when you date a man with kids (even grown ones) they're a package deal. If you can't make a go of it with them, its best to leave him behind, too. He should be putting his foot down to his kids about all the ex-wife talk, considering how it makes you feel.
2007-02-03 02:46:37 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family is not the ONLY people you need to avoid! You need to avoid HIM! What are you with this guy for? He is obviously still in love with her. Do you want to play second fiddle to her for the rest of your life? You will never be first in their lives, nor HIS! You're wasting some really good years trying to do something you can NEVER do. Move on. Find a man that will put YOU first in his life!!
2007-02-03 02:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Woman, why on earth are you with this man? Don´t you realize that you deserve real love and to be truly happy and that you will not get either one from your current partner? I think it is a tragedy that you have waisted five years on him already, but please don´t spend another day on him!! You are worth so much more and I wish you the best of luck in moving forward without him.
2007-02-03 02:58:22 · answer #6 · answered by Eileen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no, don't go to the Superbowl party. You probably need to find a new boyfriend asap and forget this whole situation. It will not work if his children and his Mother are interfering like that.
2007-02-03 02:55:29 · answer #7 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are really only asking us to validate what you already know. This is a really disturbed bunch of people who want to change the facts but you are the one that is going to suffer every time. No I wouldn't go , at least to that one. Go to a different one. And keep going to different places that him and his ill-minded family and when he ask you why you no longer go anywhere with him tell him. But I think by then you will have found someone to "hang out" with that you actually have fun being around and won't be put in that horrible situation with.
2007-02-03 02:50:26 · answer #8 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
appears like you already spoke back your questions. i'm from South Dakota, human beings interior something else of the country idea we were a gaggle of rubes because we voted Tom Daschle, the senate minority chief out of place of work and put in a rookie. the reason Mr Daschle lost is because he were in Washington way too lengthy, he lost contact jointly with his electorate, he change into extra interested in putting out with the Democratic huge wigs then helping SD or what change into precise. we've an identical problem back, now it truly is representative Tim Johnson, I truly have self belief if Barack Obama needed to apply this state for a nuclear bomb try web site that Mr Johnson ought to vote for it. He has no wakeful what's ideal for South Dakota, yet whats up, he were given his son appointed to a tender federal decide pastime, wahoo!!!!! i'm a Republican, yet i understand that the GOP is merely as accountable because the Democrats for paying for this united states of america into the trainwreck we are in and that i desire there change into a normal out yet i imagine all of us understand more effective then that. because the former scudders used to say, in case you want to bop you could ought to pay the fiddler! absolutely everyone with 1/2 a mind in this united states of america knows the party is ending and the bill will be paid, all of our elected officials look extra interested in saving their jobs and pushing the ruin off with assistance from borrowing extra then they're in facining the track. each and every of the Tea party and structure party are doing is attempting to awaken the conventional citizen in the previous it truly is merely too late. Myself, i have self belief it truly is merely too late, i have self belief our total society and authorities will colapse in the previous reform will come.
2016-11-02 05:15:29 · answer #9 · answered by mosesjr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you choose to.... You dont have to though if you are not comfortable with it. He is not wanting to marry you? Does not sound like he really loves you though... Maybe you need to move on with your life... I think you would be better off without this guy and this situation.
2007-02-03 02:47:00 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋