What do you do?

Question

I have already asked this question and didn't get much response, so i will make myself more clearer this time! Me and my dad haven't been getting along for almost a year now. On the weekends, i have to go places like cousins and friends becaus ei am afraid i will get very very angry at him. Don't get me wring i love my dad but it just seems like our relationship has gotten father apart since hde becme the BIG christian! I am saved but as a teen you know we rebel. I have a boyfriend and he isn't makng me rebel but we are in a very serious relationship and i am waning some alone time with him and my dad will not hear of it, not even if we group date. My mom sometimes sneaks me out with him and don't say she's bad for doing that because if he don't trust me in the world i gotta do things myself! I have a strange feeling that when i get older me and my dad will have nothing to do with each other! And, weirdly, i want to cry when i think of that! I have tried confronting him nothing works

Answer 1

What do I do?

I would figure out why we haven't been getting along. Figure out why I am so angry with him. I would think he became the BIG christian because he is praying for me, he is praying that I make a good decision in my life and not screw up my life. I would stop making an excuse that I am a TEEN and learn to GROW UP and stop rebelling. Dad is worrying because I might go out with boyfriend and get PREGNATE or get STD's. My mom might
face DIVORCE if she keep supporting me making a lot of bad
decision. I will need to TRUST my DAD, and not make him trust me. I will ASK my DAD what he wants me to do, does he want
me to go to COLLEGE or what? Because GROWN people
make mistakes and they don't want me to make the SAME mistake... so since my DAD knows everything and is WISE and know more than ME, I will do what my Dad say... and I hope he will help GUIDE me and I will get my DAD to be more INVOLVE in my life and give me ADVICE. I have to stop being a CRY BABY and consider my DAD's feeling too, because I know he is
worrying about me and CRY every night and praying every night for me. I LOVE MY DAD. IF I EVER GET RECOGNITION or AWARD, I WILL THANK MY DAD!!!

NYsunrise, I'll bet her children will treat her the same way and
lead her to her grave. And she is still mad at her father. She hated her mother and her nephew died in a car accident.

Answer 2

Your age is important. There are many things a teenager is unaware of in this world and your father may place a high value on teaching your morality and discipline. I'm not saying he's right or wrong but as long as you live in his house, you are subject to his rules. I did the same for my 28 year old stepdaughter. She had a boyfriend from out of town try to sleep over without asking. I said NO. They disrespected my wife and I by not asking up front. Respect your dad. You will see things different as you grow older. Men are great at deceiving women. Many are nice and sweet till marriage then they turn iinto monsters. My wife's first husband was. You dad knows best what men can be like because he is a man. Understand that and respect it.

Answer 3

Your not going through nothing any other teen hasn't been or is going through. Let your dad know your growing up and you want to go through things on your own and learn the hard way for your self. That works for some people; going through situations on their own. Tell him is not about your Faith... You have experience life, if not now... It will happen when you get older. So while your under his rules.. try to listen to him as much as possible. Dont sneak places, b/c then when you do want to go places he wont let you. Be honest with him and your self. It's no rush to be in a serious relationship as a teen. If he loves you; your BF he will understand. take your time.... Trust me

Answer 4

I think it's a shame you and your dad are having trouble. In disputes between 2 people its never strictly just one person's fault. I think your mom needs to talk to your father about giving you more independence--that is a hard, but necessary job of parenting. Letting go a little at a time will teach you how to handle adulthood responsibly and will help him get used to the fact you are growing up.

I work at a college, and I see the same thing over and over--the kids who were on "lockdown" by very strict parents get to college and go wild-they've never had any independence, and when they get a taste, they don't know how to handle it...the kids who come from more liberal parents have already had experiences with managing their own behavior with mom and dad there to guide them (though at arm's length), and seem to do better overall.

Good luck!

Answer 5

This is a somewhat common thing between teens and parents. If teens and parents didn't go through growing pains and separation issues..kids would never move out. Don't take it so hard. The closeness returns when you are a bit older. Your parents love you and want what is best for you but they don't always know what that is either. Avoid confrontation and arguments. Work toward getting along and by pass problems. Things will smooth out in a few years.

Answer 6

I'll offer my opinion, for what it's worth. First, remember your dad is probably trying to do what he thinks is best for you because he cares for you. His motivation is good, but he is human and prone to mistakes, over reactions, strong emotions, etc... In years to come, try to remember he's trying to do his best to do what is right by you. Knowing it is causing tension between you two is probably hard on him as well, but he's still trying. That says something about him....he cares enough to keep trying, though it is hard. That being said, it sounds as if you are a young woman trying to experience some freedom, which sounds normal to me. If you are a Christian, you know the commandment to honor you mother and father, so you must try to obey his wishes. HOWEVER, he must realize you are growing up and need to make your own decisions. If Christ is important to both of you, why not seek councel from your pastor, or a Christian councelor. I truly believe that if you have repented and put your trust in Jesus you are saved, and the answer to your dilema may lie in the council of other believers. Hope this at least gives you a different insight.

Answer 7

You state you are saved, then you most likely are familiar with the 10 commandments. "honor thy Father and Mother". This does not mean you have to agree with them, but, should always show them respect. By saying your dad is a "BIG" Christian, you are showing disrespect and I don't think you probably realize it. I don't say that to criticize you at all, so please don't take it that way. Having said that, ultimately, the only One you have to please is The Lord. If you want alone time with your boyfriend, there is nothing wrong with that. Sounds like your dad may be over-protective of you. Try to think of it as he loves you so much, he doesn't want you to get hurt. It's not wierd to fear the loss of a relationship with your dad. He may be feeling the same thing and it's reflected in his fear of letting you grow up. As parents it can be very difficult to let our children be adults. If we have done our job well while raising our kids, then we should trust them. Good luck to you.

Answer 8

me and my dad did not get along either, and my mom use to stick up for me all the time, and The reason why we didn't get along I realize this after my dad died. is that we were so much alike, and he only wanted me to have the best. I don't know how old you are, but he is only looking out for your best interest. try to get along with him. and maybe if you can talk to him and explain how you feel. and that you know he wants nothing but the best for you. but tell him that you have to find out the hard way , we all make mistakes but we learn from them, and tell him you respect what he says. and don't ever say nothing bad to your dad, because once he's gone you cannot take it back. I wished I was better with my dad. and I can't tell him I sorry because its too late, and I don't want you to make that same mistake as I did. good luck.

Answer 9

I actually think the opposite will happen. As you get older and a bit wiser, I think you will begin to understand why your Dad did the things he did to try to protect you. It's interesting, but everyone I know has said the same thing. You grow up and get out on your own and then you start to understand your parents a lot better and appreciate the things they said and did. I think you have a lot to be thankful for. Some people don't have parents who care about them. Do your best to communicate with your Dad and try to understand that he has your best interest at heart.

Answer 10

Well if you have been saved, you are not showing very good respect for your God or your father. I believe you and your father will have a hard relationship now and in the future if you keep telling lies, and disobeying him. Further your mother is doing you and your father a big lie to... Sound like you all need family counseling. Someday you will have a family, and by the way it sound, it should be sooner than later, and you need to see how you would feel if you snuck your daughter out and lied to your husband. Sound like you are really are in a really tough family relationship and you and your mother, are doing every thing wrong to force the issue to a rocky conclusion.