i am still hurt and never got over my ex-girlfriend(28 years old) leaving me(35),nor have i seen her new man,im curious who the 46 year old man is is.i want to move on ,but its like im stuck,how can i be happy and move on with my life.we have to kids which she is taking me to court for soul custody also which is ridiculous.
2007-02-03 02:18:46 · 19 answers · asked by cheated on by ex girlfriend 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
move on
2007-02-03 02:55:19 · answer #1 · answered by can u ♥ moi? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to have a hard time letting go, especially when you are the one left alone. She went onto another man, and never had the alone time you are forced to have. It will get better. Find something of interest and pursue it - the gym, riding, snow boarding, whatever. Stay busy with friends and family. The pain I am sure is a lot, as you were not the one to have made the decision to separate your family. As for your kids, do NOT give up without a fight. I am not sure where you live, but the way of the courts now are really pushing for 50/50 (I am a woman with 50/50 with my ex). And this is rightfully so, as fathers are just as capable of raising, loving, and caring for children as mothers are. Look up fathers rights, I am sure you can find an organization around your area (location) that can assist with reputable lawyers and good insight. But no matter how hurt you are about being left DO NOT LET YOUR KIDS GO, your kids are for life - her you will get over, in time. Stay strong, I wish you the best.
2007-02-03 03:03:14 · answer #2 · answered by Carey L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She won't get the custody. I don't know why women think they have the right to control the children, but many of them do. You will get joint custody. She will likely be made the primary, but you two will always have equal rights and access to the children.
As far as moving on, you just have to do it. 4 months is not that long. I have been divorced for over a year, and am not dating. It isn't that I am not over the ex, I am. I am just enjoying being single, and doing as I please. No time or room for another person at this point.
Don't be in a hurry to meet someone else just because she has. Enjoy being single. Do the things you want to to do. Whether it is sitting around reading, or doing more adventurous stuff. Now is the time to do those things you wanted to do, but couldn't in the relationship.
Personally, though not this time of year, I spend most of my time scuba diving.
2007-02-03 02:52:49 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u will be upset for awhile. the more u loved her the worse the pain. u have to reach out and take what u want from life, takes alot of courage, but do it even if u are afraid. u may not have accepted what has happened yet, as it has only Been 4 months, sometimes it takes years to get past a betrayal. have u considered therapy, or some group therapy? where u could talk about your pain to someone. helps to talk about it. u also have kids so that makes it so much harder, as u know there will be more contact with her. just have to be strong, or play as if u are. nobody ever takes to hurt and betrayal very easily it does hurt, does take time to get over, it isn't going to occur overnight, it is a process, where one day we wake up and we begin to feel better about it, but truthfully it never does leave us, but it does get easier as time goes by.as u pass by life u will see that we all get hurt, that u aren't really alone, also it does help to seek god.
2007-02-03 08:02:49 · answer #4 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Y stress, if it makes you feel some kind of way tell him and see how he reacts. Ask him if he thought it was OK for U to still communicate with your ex's and affiliates. If he non-chalant about it you may have to make a decision a hard one. I personally don't think he's over his ex-girl, OK the moms' and he are friends, You don't think he still ask about the ex from time to time or even worst She volunteers info, Why because in case U and he don't work out she still has close tabs on his availability and Personally I wouldn't want No other women having that much access over My dude ex-girls mom or not...
2016-05-23 23:04:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey there, 4 months is a blink of an eye, and I think yr expectations of yrself, yr ex, yr situation is unrealistic… maybe 12 months in, I could mention interests in the realm of dating etc. Allow yrself to "feel" and grieve. You will feel "stuck" for quite some time, and please DO NOT try rushing this process. Time will be one of yr greatest healers and again, go with what you feel. Not what others may say to you. Yr curiosity with her partner is normal, as long as it stays within legitimate grounds. If she is serious about taking you to court for custody, start searching for a good lawyer, but know that these days, you will have the opportunity to see yr children 50/50. good luck!
2007-02-03 02:37:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are living in the past, live in the "NOW". It's tough to get over somebody but you have to start to love yourself and you will find true love again. It's tough when she wants soul custody but you have to fight for 1/2 and 1/2. Good luck! Stay positive.
2007-02-03 02:23:53 · answer #7 · answered by Paul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation is a grieving process much similar to the one a person goes thru when a death occurs. The death of a marriage may take longer for one person than another to adjust to. Give your self time, do the things you always thought you would do if you were just single. Time will heal but you just need to give it time while starting to build a new life for yourself.
2007-02-03 03:07:13 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For now, do not focus on dating, focus on getting at least joined custody of your kids.
Get yourself settled in a place of your own, so your kids can come visit and your relationship with them will remain as healthy as possible.
As far as who she is dating, believe me, the hell with both of them.
Remain above it, concentrate on your health, work out, take care of your appearance, get your groove back, and in NO TIME you will have to beat women away with a stick, they will be all over you, especially when you are out there with your cute kids in a park.
Let the games begin.
2007-02-03 02:31:05 · answer #9 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well fight for your kids and when you win tell her to f-off. You deserve to be happy, don't sit at home and wait for her to come back. she is loving the idea that youre not dating, show her that you do have a life, find a nice younger and hotter girlfriend, show the cougar you can do better then her. Im sure you will be happy but don't sit at home waiting for something to change you gotta make it happen!
2007-02-03 02:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by tralw2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it may seem hard but eventually you will but you have to put forth some effort you cant just sit around and let the good go to waste!! There's somebody for everybody and maybe she wasn't the one for you but you thought she was...God knows whats best for you so take advantage and stop moping around because its not the end of the world.
2007-02-03 02:25:51 · answer #11 · answered by chocolateflavadgurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋