i fell in love with a married man, and he fell in love with me. he was having previous problems with his wife and they were semi-seperated. i allowed our relationship to continue, and now i feel that it was selfish of me. if i really wanted what's best for him, maybe i should have stood down and let him try to work his marriage out. but he's happiest when he's with me, so which is better for him?
2007-02-03 02:14:47 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
wow, nice answers. thanks trawl2000 and ravioli man, you guys don't seem so narrowminded as the rest in here. like people who presume that by 'loving a married man' i was luring a happily married man to bed. he's stuck in a catch 22, they've lived apart for over 2 years, but remain 'married' because of the social implications of divorcing a buddhist marriage. she left him, but won't divorce him.
2007-02-03 03:28:07 · update #1
People do marry the wrong person, sometimes they marry because they have kids. whether or not you were around if it was gonna end it would of. You are only a homewrecker if you came between a happy marriage. But he could also be filling your head with things too just to get in there. If he doesnt love her anymore and hasnt for a long time then I think your safe. Yeah he did cheat on her but how many times before you, she obviously isn't an angel maybe she did it to, with a brother or best friend. She did something, its not always the guy to blame, there are bitches out there that treat a great man like he is nothing. You make him feel like something, but have a talk with him and see what he wants too.
2007-02-03 02:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by tralw2000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What the he-- do you mean semi separated? A married man is married. Unless he has moved out into his own place he is still living with his wife.You know this! Why are you asking questions now that you have already done the damage? If you were trying to teach your own daughter standards and morals is this how you would teach her? Some married men will tell someone that they are "not happy" at home in order to get what they want. an affair. Of course he is happy when he is with you , hes got his cake and eating it too. Some day you will be a wife and someone like you is going to be after your man and you are going to wish that these type of women that tempt a married man didn't exist but oh yea you were one! Let him go and if he actually moves out and is available then if you still want him when there is no competition then pursue it.
2007-02-03 02:30:56 · answer #2 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It's up to him, not you. People marry the wrong person for them sometimes, and that is why they divorce.
If his marriage was going down the drain, it would have happened regardless, and if he really wanted to work it out with his wife he would have.
You are responsible for your own happiness and if you feel unsettled about this ask the guy what are his plans regarding his wife, does he want to divorce her and be with you?
In any case, if you are not sure, take some time away from the relationship to really explore your feelings and let him do some thinking on his own.
2007-02-03 02:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not being narrow minded really.What if this was your marriage falling apart,would you want any other person interfering ?That's a good question for yourself,would you want this situation for yourself?Most women have reasons why they separate from their men and sometimes it's not just her fault.Sometimes he has issues that only a wife knows about.All I am saying is if you weren't in the middle them maybe this woman could work on her marriage .This man is no better than you for he has allowed you to be involved in his adultery and now your thinking has become warped.What goes around comes back around and what you give to others comes back to you so maybe you should expect to understand what his wife is going through,you are the one who is narrow minded for all you see is what you want.
2007-02-03 04:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your right to leave him. Don't feel guilty for that. Let him feel guilty and know all the wrong his done. Firstly, what his doing is ILLEGAL. If the police find out you will be attached to all of this for not reporting him. Secondly, carry on with your life. You guys are not married. Your not tied down to him properly. Thirdly, you are right it is quite selfish of him to leave his wife and daughter over you. Let him know that you are not stupid, that you're actually quite sensible. Because your going to be a woman and get out of this situation before it gets any worse. Let him know how it feels to be in your position and hopefully he'll get your point of view and you guys can sort this situation quickly before it blows up in everybody's face.
2016-05-23 23:04:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it was selfish. You knew he was married you should have left him alone. Also, you do not know how happy he is with his wife. One of the best lines used is,"She won't sleep with me," "I am not happy with her." YOU do not know what goes on behind closed doors. Depending on his age it could be midlife crisis. You could and probobly just an affair to feed his ego. If he really loved you he would have left her before you started dating. He will never emotionally leave his wife and family. Be prepared for this. There are many eligible bacholors out there. Yes, you are a homewrecker!! Bad name.
2007-02-03 02:27:31 · answer #6 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The reasons you are selfish:
Marriage - means he is committed to someone else
Family - means he is committed to a child or children, and a wife
SEMI - means not totally separated
all of these equal - LEAVE HIM ALONE
Of course he is "happiest" with you - you want to believe that, and he has no responsibility, no kids knocking on the door when you are trying to get romantic, no wife reminding you to pay the cable bill, you are his escape from reality. Is that really a man YOU want? One that cheats on his wife and leaves his family for a fling? Reality is harsh, but necessary
2007-02-03 03:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by Carey L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with women like you? Why do women think married men are the moon and stars? These men have alot of baggage and even more so when they start affairs. Don't be surprised if you are not the first women he's slept with.
He is using you for his unhappiness. You need to get away from this guy. You reap what you sow. If he were to ever leave his wife for you, he will do the same thing to you.
You need to repent and ask God for forgiveness. He says He will send all adulterers to hell.
2007-02-03 03:12:09 · answer #8 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say that if this guy was so happy with you then why doesn't he divorce his wife and be with you? You need to let him work out his problems with the wife and if it doesn't work out for them and they get divorced then maybe you two can still be together. You should not want to break up a marriage.
2007-02-03 02:52:09 · answer #9 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He had made a commitment to his family before you came along and you should have respected that. Personally I would not consider being with such a person because I would know that his commitment means nothing to him. Semi-separated just does not cut it, he has to have made the decision to move on and make this known to his family. I am sure he was happy with his family at some point too so the fact that he is happy with you now does not count for much.
2007-02-03 02:21:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋